The Shadow Manifesto: Search for Meaning

"What did I do wrong, papa? I don't understand why you are beating me. For what? It hurts. I am just 7 years old. . ."

"This hurts me more than it hurts you, my son. You must learn to take pain like a man for that is what life is about. So stop crying. Don't be a cry baby. Be a man."

"Wahhhhhhhhhhhahahhahahahhhahah. . . . Noooooooo. Stooooop. I am going to tell mama. "

"If you tell, her, I will kill the entire family. Now take off your cloths, I must best you naked. Take it like a man."

"I didn't do anything wrong. I am a good boy."

"My leather belt is going to beat your ass now, my son. Smile when I hit you. Do not cry. So shut up and smile. I am a black belt in KyoKuShin karate, and you must learn the ways of the samurai warrior."

"Yes, sir."

"No pain, no gain. . . .life is about suffering and pain. You will be bullied, spit on and beat up as you grow up, so I am preparing you for the American way. . I am going to spit on you now as I beat you. "

"Yes, sir."

" That is a good boy. I am going to leave you alone for a while, for I have Penthouse and Playboy magazines to look at while I must beat and abuse your sister too . So be a good boy and shut up. Later"

"Yes sir. . . . .

"Yes sir. . . .

"Yes sir. . . .

"Yes sir. . . . .

"Yes sir. I am alone. I do not understand why. . . looking at the Shadow on the wall, I wish you would come alive and help me and save me. . . . my father is having sex with my sister now and beating her. I can hear her crying, my dear sister Maria, is in pain. Be strong Maria, and he will not hit you as hard. .

. . . . Maria . . . . you are here."

"Yes my brother, John, I do not understang why papa is so mean to us."

" I agree Maria. "

"John, you must promise me something . . "

"Okay, Maria. . . "

"Never, tell mama who works graveyard shift, or tell anyone, my brother. Do not call the police, because papa will kill all of us. Promise?"

" I promise my sister!"

"I must go now, my brother, tell your Shadow, I said hi"

"Will do, my sister. "

"Is she gone?"

"Yes, Shadow, Maria is gone, and Papa, or Satan is sleeping now."

"This must stop, John, for he has no right to beat and abuse you both."

"I agree Shadow, but what can we do?"

"Follow me, John, my friend!"

"Where to Shadow?"

"We are going to my home, the underground world. Because Satan cannot come to my part of hell, John."

" Is it safe there?"

"Yes, my friends are all party animals of the night and love to have fun. We all get along well and have signed peace agreements. Ready to come with me?"

"I am following you, Shadow, into my closet, down the stairs into the basement, deeper and deeper into the lower depts of the underworld"

"It smells here, John, because some dead bodies are being sent to hell and they are decomposing.. .So pinch your nose. "

"Do you have some sort of perfume to kill the stink, Shadow? Do you have a name?"

"I am Gabi. Here, I have this, so spray it around your body and the smell will not be as strong, John."

"I hear the music, the dancing must be starting. Ready to Party?"

"Ready! I am shaking it. Dancing in Hell is fun..."

" Your Papa, Satan cannot come to my part of hell, John."

" Is it safe in the underworld, Gabi?"

"Yes, there are no wars, no jobs, no marriages, no divorces, no poverty, no tears, no beatings, no crimes, no ICE, no IRS, and no tears, for we party all the time. We never get sick, John. We never file bankruptsy. We never die. No one has cancer. . . In the underworld, we live in peace and have an attitude of positivity. We love each other. and hug each other. We do yoga, lift weights, stay in shape, never diet, and never die and live forever. . . ."

"Gabi! Why is the earth above like Hell and Hell below like Heaven?"

"Because I am not a demon, I am a saint, while your father is a demon of the night and those in the church and Boy Scouts who sexually abused boys and children are the real demons, and presidents or Taco Kings who have sex with children are also demons of the night."

"Oh, Is the underworld Heaven, Gabi?"

"Yes, I have a confession, John. you were buried yesterday, because your father killed everyone in your family, your mother was also buried and Maria is buried too. You are now dead, John"

"Why are you crying, Gabi? Why?I should be crying."

"I am not your shadow, I am not Gabi, I am your father. . . I shot myself in the head after I killed the entire family. Please forgive me, my son. Forgive me for being a demon.

"Wait. What, dad?

"You will be reborn into a family of love and light. I promise, John. . ."

"What, I am dead?

"Forgive me"

"Dead?"

"Please, forgive me my son!"

"What the hell?"

"My own father, your grandfather Art, beat me and abused me daily as a child. So I repeated it to you and Maria."

"Really?

"Yes, my son!"

"That is terrible!"

"Forgive me . . "

". . .I . . . I. . . .I do . . . "

"What, my son? You do what?"

"I forgive you. Go in peace, my father. . I love you. "

"I love you, too my son, John. Rest in Peace,

"Thank you, dad."

"Oh John, a baby is being born in Mexico City. You will be reborn into a loving family. Ready to learn Spanish? Amen!"

"Wahhhhhhhhhhhahahhahahahhhahah. . . . "