The S'Mug of Victory

My paternal grandmother is a loud, rude woman. I think you know the type. If you suggest she's being too loud or too rude, she responds with phrases like "That's just how I am" and "At least I'm honest." Neither has she ever particularly cared for me much. So, on one of the few trips to visit my family while we lived in Florida, when we went on an activity that I had chosen as a reward for doing well in school, it was no big surprise that she complained and made a scene the whole way.

I'm a huge fan of mysteries, and trains TBH (though it has never become a special interest), and there was a mystery dinner train theater near our home. So, the combined event of whatever accomplishment I had made at school and my grandmother coming to visit was enough to warrant us all going on the train. I was the most excited to go, but my brother and dad were also quite happy about the choice. Grandma Big Mouth was the only one who felt the need to make constant, loud, negative commentary, even once we boarded the train.

Fortunately, the tables were fairly small, so my grandmother and dad ended up at a separate two-seater. While my brother, mom, and I sat together across the aisle. As one would expect at a restaurant, they took our orders, served us drinks, etc., while everyone finished boarding, got settled in, and chatted.

Before long, the show started. There were a few cars, and they obviously started at one end of the train and worked their way to the other end, playing the first act while we started on our dinner. Then, in the transition action scene serving as the second act, they made their way to the front and proceeded with the third act, accompanied by desert and coffee. It was a really fun experience. I wasn't a massive fan of the menu, but I never am. The acting was exciting and right within arm's length. They performed in the aisles and included passengers in the act.

I had a fantastic time. Even though I'm sure my Grandmother had a fine time, you would never be able to tell, due to her loud, abrasive commentary. You could see it wear on the performers at certain points. She commented on their performance, the ease with which she was solving the case, the poor quality of the food, and anything else that came to mind; she complained about it.

Needless to say, even though I loved attending this performance, by the time it was over, we were all embarrassed and ready to go home. The finale is the most exciting part, though, with the typical mystery wrap-up. While the show was running, they provided us with case note sheets to take notes on and solve the case. Before the reveal, they collected them, and the Investigator uses those notes to "assist" him in solving the case to avoid shouting and ensure a fair decision.

One person in each train car "solved the case" and went home with a souvenir mug. Well, when they got around to the wrap-up for our car, you could see that all the performers were in a conspiratorially excited mood. They brought the mug out to great fanfare, and the wrap-up went something like this, although not verbatim. He thanked everyone for helping to catch a killer and discussed the clues that were on the sheet. (This caused my grandmother to babble about how it must be her. She wrote down all of those clues, etc.)

Then, before he handed out the mug, he stopped and made a special announcement. There was one investigator who helped them just a little bit more than their top sleuth, but this investigator, quizzically, neglected to put their name on it! He turned and looked straight at my grandmother, since she had been interrupting him the whole time. The ladies walked over and gave me the little certificate and mug. I was genuinely shocked. I had a great time, and with my grandmother talking about how she was obviously going to win the prize, I wasn't expecting it.

I was thrilled on the way home. I used that mug, the mug of victory as I called it, every day for the rest of her visit, and I was smug as hell. The mug wasn't super special sauce amazing; it just had a train and the name of that company on it, but it was one of my favorite mugs until I broke it when I moved out on my own.

Not to mention that I used it or gave it to her to use every time she came to visit (what, I never said I was perfect). Not that those times were often. I haven't even seen her in over 20 years. She didn't make it to my brother's wedding (either of them), and unlike me, she actually liked him.