The Rainbow Diaries

July 25, 2021

I really enjoy coloring. Something about a pen, a marker, a pencil moving in one particular motion or in one particular path soothes me, it takes my mind off of other things. And I’ll create patterns too, little rainbow spirals or orange and black stripes. Coloring in a coloring book is incredibly therapeutic for me. I am someone who struggles with depression, anxiety, and ADHD. Thankfully the meds work and I can focus on a coloring page long enough to fill all the gaps but it better be the only thing I have to get done in that moment. But I love it. Colors are beautiful and sometimes they work well together and other times they work well apart and in the end the picture becomes a mosaic that I helped visualize and it’s that final image that always draws me back. The satisfaction of completing a piece is what brings me back.

Coloring is not technically art, unless I were to be the one creating the page that is getting colored, I cannot take full responsibility for the final image that is created. We create art for others to experience, I color so that I can clear my head and meditate for a while.

I also enjoy painting with watercolors. In contrast with coloring in a coloring book, painting with watercolors has no boundaries and allows my mind to be free and expand. I usually enjoy combining my watercolor pieces with stanzas of poetry or words by themselves. It’s a satisfying, immediate release of self-expression. Take a white crayon too and add that to the watercolor and bam! You’ve got yourself a design, a piece of art.

July 26, 2021

Coloring is a messy game. To me it’s a game, at least. How can I stay between the lines and how fast can I go with the marker? It’s never a goal of making the image look a certain way, it’s about allowing the image to create itself. Same with watercolor, it’s never about creating a specific image it’s about expressing the moods of my life through color. If I’m having a bad day, I might stick close to blue hues with yellow accents. If I’m feeling productive or good about myself, it might be a greener (my favorite color) image.

Oh, and with watercolors you can mix. The opportunities are nearly endless with watercolors, making violets and greens and oranges and browns. No one can stop me when it comes to color, I am after all, a gay. But yes, coloring and water coloring are very therapeutic for me.

There are the occasional downsides, a stray brush hair or a small bump out of line from an eager marker.

July 28, 2021

I finished a dog’s face right before writing this. And the dog is not brown, despite its nose. It is blue, because I am going through a really tough time in life. It had yellow here and there because I know good times are coming. The parts that look like leaves are green because green is the color of nature and I love nature. There are drop shapes on his face too that I have made both green and blue. There are red dots throughout the whole image of the dog because I love this image and every time, I accidently mark over a red dot with my blue marker I get mad at myself because not everything is working out perfectly. But not everything works out perfectly. Sometimes you color outside the lines. Sometimes I paint with thin color because you’re feeling vulnerable. Or I’ll use a thick amount of paint to say something, to get something out of my system. Coloring and watercolors are a projection of myself that I can’t take away, I can’t undo. It is grounding and it is cathartic.