The Lost soul

Father,

My unseen strength, in fear,

My indescribable power, in courage,

My pal, who does not accompany me on walks,

My confidence, in standing behind me and guiding me.

It's tough to convey anything about him in a single context. But, In my entire life, I've been plagued by four questions concerning him. So, I'll try to convey my feelings about my father through four questions.

My first agony: At my childhood

He did not spend time with me, he did not play with me, he did not buy even an ice-cream for me, and I only saw him on rare occasions.

I'm not sure who to tell, and I'm not sure who to ask. I asked myself a million times through countless nights of rage, fury, and dread, "Why myself?"

My second agony : When I was in college

Why is he so unconcerned about me? Why isn't he treating me with respect? Why hasn't he spent time with me since childhood? Why didn't he back me up? Was it a mistake that I was born as his child?

My third agony : During my graduation

My buddies were having a good time with their fathers and their fathers were buying them whatever they wanted. Seeing it would have made me cry hysterically.

My fourth and last agony: After graduation

Is he my biological father? Or have I been discovered by him? Or has he adopted me?

I'm not sure what sin I've done because there are no birthdays, festivals, or holidays, and I've never had supper with him in my life.

After graduation, I went to a nearby city to take a career course.

"Dad wants to see you," my mother remarked one day on the phone. "Why don't you come here?" She said.

"Are you kidding?" I said after hearing those remarks.

"Why would I?" Mother answered.

"All right, I'll come," I said.

The little pleasures

"Dad wants to see you," were the first and most crucial words in my life. I felt like I was on cloud nine when I heard those words. I immediately dropped out of my coaching class and went to my hometown to see my father.

"Son, with the job I do, I require assistance.Will you be with me during the office for a few days?"

When he requested for my assistance, I was overcome with joy.I didn't utter a single word; all I did was shake my head.

Tears welled up in my eyes the next day as I sat on the back of my father's motorcycle. Because that was the first time I had ever been with him.

Our dwelling is twelve kilometers from Dad's office. I put my hand on him in the rear seat when the speed breakers came in the middle. The first words he said to me concerning my care were, "Sit tight son."

In the power distribution maintenance, my father worked as a lineman.

I sobbed hysterically inside as my father drove me to their office and introduced me, exaggerating about my schooling, my disposition, and even my birthday.

As time went on, I began to assist him with his tasks.

No matter how much he knew about me, I was always suspicious as to why he hadn't spent even the tiniest amount of time with me since I was a child.

Answer to my first agony

My father and I went to a house where there was a power outage one day and returned after fixing the issue. On our way to work, we were involved in an automobile accident on the outskirts of town, with no one to assist us. We were knocked down when the auto collided with the handle edge. Bike and I were injured a little, but my father's right hand was bruised and his little finger was pierced. His right hand is covered in blood. I don't know how to drive, I'm looking for assistance, however my father failed to account for the injuries. He sat down on the bike, told me to sit, and began riding the bike four kilometers to the hospital.

The fear of what would happen to my family if anything happened to me, rather than the pain of having blood on his hands, was clearly obvious in his eyes.

Then I see why he looks to be a rarity in the house to me.

"No matter what happens, I have to secure my family," The sentence which always strolling over and over in his head.

Answer to my second agony

My father is reprimanded by his superior officer on another occasion for making a little error.

"Why are you suffering his comments dad, just leave the job," I said, unable to face the fury.

He responded, "What can I do, son? I'm not sure what else to do except this. I didn't study the same way you did."

Answer to my third agony

Once again, the day I did not accompany him, he was involved in an accident, and he was taken to the hospital with blood all over him. I rushed to the hospital after hearing the news, and he saw me there and called me, saying, "It hurts a lot son, you should take care of the family if anything happens to me."

Answer to my forth agony

When he complained of a slight pain in his chest one day, I decided to take him to the hospital for a routine checkup."

Doctor said,"It was his third heart attack, and his three heart walls were Ninety-five percent clogged, necessitating bypass surgery immediately. Otherwise, I am help-less."

That terrified me when I first heard it. I'm at a loss on what to do.

Fathers are no joke.

My initial impression of him is quite different.

I've traveled with him over eleven years. With eleven years of acquaintance, all I understand is that "no matter what happens, I have to feed and secure my family." is the only motto he had in his entire life.

His opinions were never represented in our home, where my adolescent thoughts about him were incorrect.

I thought, "He did not spend time with me"

He thought, "If I use this time, it can benefit my son's education."

I thought, "He don't like me."

He thought, "My son will understand if I am not with him."

I thought, "My father did not buy anything for me like my friends fathers do."

He thought, "To give him the life he wants, I still have to work hard."

I thought, "Is he my father?"

He thought,"Forgive me for failing to meet the smallest pleasures in your life."

The operation went off without a hitch, thanks to God's favor. He had retired from his job and was content. I've been with him the entire time until today. He is currently 63 years old and in good health.

Finally,

Throughout my years with him, his thoughts have had an affect on my every thought, step, and vision without me even realizing it.

I'm extremely fortunate to have a father like you.

Thank you dad.