The Lie We Tell Ourselves: “I Deserve This”

Self-Care Isn’t a Treat. It’s a Wake-Up Call.

We’ve been sold a version of self-care that’s… convenient.

Take a day off.

Buy something nice.

Sleep in, scroll, snack, “because you deserve it.”

But here’s the raw truth:

Most of that?

It’s just avoidance dressed as self-love.

Because real self-care isn’t passive.

It’s active discomfort.

It’s dragging yourself back into alignment — not drifting further into distraction.

Calling Out the “I Deserve This” Lie

There’s this voice in our head — the comforting one — that says: “I deserve this.”

I had a rough day. I didn’t sleep. I’m stressed. I’m a parent. I’m tired.

So we justify the next scroll… the next snack… the next lazy habit.

Until that voice becomes a script.

And the worst part? It feels true.

But here’s the thing:

You don’t deserve more mindless consumption.

You deserve peace, clarity, progress, rest — not its cheap imitations.

Catching the Spiral Before It Owns You

My own patterns show up fast if I’m not paying attention.

I get short-tempered.

I snap easier — not because I’m angry, but because I’m overwhelmed.

I scroll aimlessly, wasting time I swore I didn’t have.

And then I regret it… and the cycle loops again.

What helps?

Catching it. Naming it. Owning it before it gets worse.

That’s self-care — not the break after the breakdown, but the pause before it.

Motivation Isn’t the Goal — Clarity Is

When I’m in that fog, I don’t need a reward. I need direction.

Sometimes I’ll watch a clip, read a quote, or list five things I’m grateful for — not for motivation, but to reconnect with purpose.

That’s the shift:

From asking “What will make me feel better?”

To asking “What will make me clearer?”

That’s where real self-care lives — in the moments we reframe, not retreat.

The Trap of Chasing Small Wins Over Big Goals

Another subtle lie we tell ourselves?

“I’m making progress.”

Sure, we are — but sometimes the wrong kind.

I’ve caught myself obsessing over little wins. Quick cash. Quick hits of achievement.

All while ignoring the real dream: freedom, growth, self-employment.

But those things don’t come from convenience.

They come from delayed gratification and focused energy — two things the “I deserve this” lie slowly drains from you.

Rest ≠ Avoidance

Rest is a tool, not an excuse.

Sometimes, yes, the most powerful thing you can do is unplug, go dark, sleep, hydrate, and reset.

But that only works if rest is intentional — not an escape.

For me, that looks like:

Pausing when I notice I’m angry or anxious

Taking a breath

Smiling (even if forced)

Listing five things I’m grateful for

Then stepping back with a clearer mind

This isn’t retreat. It’s reinforcement.

You’re Not Strong for Suffering in Silence

Let’s kill this idea that strength means handling everything alone.

It doesn’t.

Strength is asking for help when your ego says “don’t.”

It’s choosing to be seen as struggling — because that’s where healing actually starts.

You’re not the only one tired, overwhelmed, burned out, or unsure.

So be real.

Eat your ego. Everybody needs help.

Especially the ones who act like they don’t.

The Real Self-Care Checklist

Let’s rewrite the rules.

Self-care isn’t:

Buying something when you feel empty

Scrolling when you feel stuck

Justifying poor habits with “I’ve earned it”

Self-care is:

Self-awareness

Clarity

Boundaries

Rest with intention

Humility

Long-term thinking over short-term comfort

Final Thought: Be Honest With Yourself

The next time you hear that voice — “I deserve this” — pause.

Ask yourself:

“Do I deserve comfort right now… or do I deserve better?”

Because real self-care doesn’t reward your sabotage.

It rescues you from it.