The Jailbird Mistake

I’m sure we all have embarrassing story’s to tell, this one in particular has and always will stick with me. I guess I’ll start with the beginning of the night.

It was Halloween, and that happens to be my one of my favorite days of the year. I love Halloween, the decorations, costumes with crazy makeup, horror movies on tv, and most of all the haunted houses and trails.

My friend (let’s call her Sally) wanted to go to this haunted trail that was over an hour away from where we lived. I of course was more than happy to go. Sally brought along her boyfriend at the time and his brother who just recently got into to town. I guess it was kind of considered a double date. Now I wasn’t too concerned about the whole double date thing, I really just wanted to go to the haunted trail.

The car ride up was a little awkward, because to be quite honest I suck at normal human interaction. I also brought along some alcoholic beverages to partake in on the way up there. That definitely made the trip a little more interesting. By the time we reached our destination I was feeling pretty tipsy. (I would like to note I was not driving.)

We all get out of the car, payed our way for the trail and got in line. I’m not sure if it was because I was drinking, or maybe we just got there at a good time but the line moved fairly fast. The trail wasn’t scary by any means, but it sure was fun. I think I laughed my ass off through the whole thing. It was a blast interacting with all the participants on the trail and trying to scare them instead.

After we got back to the car we all decided to get something to eat. I however, still continued to drink my drinks. We ended up at this pizza place and by this time I was pretty drunk. I don’t recall what the hell was going through my head that compelled me to do this, but I’m sure you have all seen the movie Half Baked and if you haven’t I recommend checking it out.

For some crazy reason I stood up infront of everyone in the whole pizza place. I then went on to recite one of the scenes from the movie, “I'm not gonna do what everyone thinks I'm gonna do and... FLIP OUT man... all I wanna know is... who's coming with me? Who's coming, man? Who's coming with me?”

Needless to say no one came with me, not my friend and not even Jan. I was pretty embarrassed at this point. Everyone in there was hardcore staring at me, so I started to run out the door, but on the way out for some reason decided to grab a pumpkin they had inside. I basically stole the pumpkin. I got outside and realized what I just did and felt like a complete idiot. I ended up just leaving the pumpkin randomly on the sidewalk and waited for Sally and everyone else to come outside.

They all eventually came out from the pizza place and we started our journey home. Unfortunately I still kept on drinking, despite my previous performance. Now if you think the rest of the night was a piece of cake, you would be wrong. A lot of the night at that point was a blur. I know we did end up getting lost, oh so very lost. Our hour drive home somehow turned into a 3 hour drive. I vegly remember us coming across a gas station in the middle of nowhere to ask for directions. Thinking about it now I have to wonder, why the hell didn’t use our phones for directions?

This next part I’m rather embarrassed about and definitely not my proudest moment. I’ll just be blunt about it... Me and my so called date got freaky in the backseat, very romantic I know. To make matters worse, the car was in full motion at that time with two spectators in the frontseat. They got a double feature that night starring me, at the restaurant and in the car.

Obviously we all eventually made it back home, somehow. The next morning I woke up with a horrendous hangover, like my shanagins the night before wasn’t enough of a punishment. Hangovers are the worst, especially when you make an ass out of yourself from drinking to much. You sit there and replay all the dumb decisions you made, plus you feel like someone wacked you in the head a bunch of times with an idiot stick.

If you’re thinking this is the end of the story, I regret to inform you it’s not. It’s somehow gets worse and surprisingly better for me. Remember my date, well it turns out he was on the run from the law. He had a warrant out for his arrest and was trying to hide at his brothers house. He ended up getting arrested about a week after our encounter. This was the cherry on top of my giant idiot sundae.

Buckle up, because it’s about to get even crazier. Let’s fast forward to a few weeks after the arrest. Sally thought she might of been pregnant, so she decided to buy a pregnancy test. She wanted me to take one with her for some reason, I abliged and peed on a stick with her. I thought it was pointless to waste a test on me, there was no way I was pregnant, right? Boy was I wrong! Sally’s test ended up being negative and I was lucky enough to get a positive result. I was mortified, I sat on my couch and bawled my eyes out. How could I be so stupid? Got knocked up by a jailbird, I could already feel the judgment I would get from this. I went to the doctor and sure enough I was in fact pregnant.

Before I move on, I’m going to add in a short little back story about me. Four months prior to my night of shenanigans my boyfriend and father of our son died in a tragic car accident. This almost broke me. I was grieving in all the wrongs ways and heading down a dark path. I was making some bad life choices. I needed to be better and had to crawl out of this dark place, not just for me but for my son. I couldn’t be stuck there. I had to find my light again.

The pregnancy was a blessing in disguise. I didn’t realize it at the time but it saved my life. It made me better, gave me the strength to leave that dark place. I’m not going to lie and say it was easy, because it most certainly was not. I still had fears and I found out the hard way that a jailbird does not make a good father. Yes he was present for my daughters birth and the week after she was born. He came home with us, said he needed to go home to get some more clothes and he would come right back. That was almost seven years ago and I haven’t seen him since, and if I’m being honest I’m glad he didn’t come back.

I have a lot of regrets in my life but having my daughter is not one of them. In those seven years since he’s been gone I’ve managed gain a beautiful family and I couldn’t be happier. I am now engaged to a wonderful man, who has my now bonus son and accepted my two kids as his own. We’ve added to our family and had another beautiful daughter. If someone would of told me back then this was how my life would be, I wouldn’t of believed them. Sometimes we do dumb things and think our world is ending, or sometimes we do dumb things and it ends up being the best decision you ever made.