The Ghost

I first met Kaashvi while at the Goodwill on 57th. She caught my eye because of what she had been wearing. While I didn’t mean to stare, it was hard to help it because most of the women in the store had either blue shirts or were old ladies. She was 27 at the time and was wearing a red Salwar Kameez suit, which looked great on her.

“Can I help you with something?” She asked me.

Those were her first words to me. I LOVED her accent. I had trouble understanding some of the words but it was so different from what I was used to. I went to school in Miami, Florida. Down there, I was surrounded by mostly Hispanic and Black females and up until age, 20, these were the only women that I dated. In my high school, we had only one Indian girl that I knew of named Tushna and I had never really considered dating her. It’s not that Tushna wasn’t attractive – she most certainly was. It just was not what a Black boy did in the 90s. Well, when I first saw Kaashvi, it was 2015. Had things changed? Would she even consider hanging out with me?

“No, I was just admiring your attire. Looks nice on you but you certainly didn’t get it from here, I imagine. Heading to a party?”

“Coming from one actually.” She said with a smile. Her teeth were not perfect, nor was her skin, or hair but I felt a positive aura about her. Some people are energy sponges, and others exude kindness and equanimity. She was holding a bundle of fake plants in her right hand.

“Something wrong with the real thing? I like plants too but I prefer living, breathing, specimens that need me to water them daily. It’s nice to feel needed.”

“These are just as pretty, and I don’t have to water them. Nice meeting you.” She smiled and walked off.

“Hey … we both like plants, right? Why don’t we … talk more about them. Over lunch.”

“Oh, boy. I knew you were going to be trouble.” She did smile, but she also turned away.

“It doesn’t have to be today. How about we just exchange numbers and … I’ll text you sometime. Like 1000 times a day…” I said.

I was totally prepared for her to just say “Good morning. It was nice talking to you. I have to get going bye.” But to my astonishment, she laughed and pulled out her phone.

“That seems a bit much. How about we try one or two texts after you give me your name, sir.”

“I’m Steven. Everyone calls me Steve though. Except for women. They usually just call me weirdo. And you are …” I extend my hand and she receives it gently.

“Kaashvi. Strange, me giving my number out to a man I caught staring at me while wearing a suit but … you seem harmless.”

“Are you kidding? You’re more of a threat to me than I am to you. Trust me, K.”

“Nick names already, Steve?"

“Hey, if you get to reduce my name to one syllable…I mean it’s only fair.”

She chuckled, turned and began walking towards the checkout line. “Bye, Stevie.” She turned to look over her shoulder at me. “Text me later.”

“I will. Oh and FYI … only my mother calls me Stevie. Just sayin . . . “

Our first date was at one of those Barnes and Nobles Starbucks. The ones that serve the spinach quiche. I love those things. Kaashvi was a vegan so she just ate fruit and bread that day. Some vegans were so stuck up. You know the type. Right? Always criticizing you for daring to obtain sustenance from something that once had a backbone. She wasn’t like that though. She was kind and very curious about plants as I suspected. I had studied biology so I knew more about botany than the average person although I wasn’t exactly an expert. We would talk for hours.

She talked about the caste system in India and how she had been a part of the Brahmin caste. I was somewhat familiar with the caste system, but I had to call a buddy of mine to explain it further. She also discussed her religion and how she prayed to more than just one god. I was so captivated by this. Almost everyone that I knew only prayed to one god or no god at all. I would mostly just sit and listen to her explain everything. It was so refreshing to meet someone different. I walked her to her car and felt awkward once we arrived. She smiled and gave me a very quick hug. I wanted to kiss her but my lips were met with a huge shield of beautiful, thick, dark, impermeable, aromatic, hair. No lip kiss? Not even a cheek?

Our second date was at a place called The Yardhouse. The food there was pretty good. I can’t remember whether it was her idea to go there or mine. She ordered the Brussels sprouts and potatoes. I think I had salmon and potatoes. I prefer a good burger but I thought fish would be a better option considering my company. We went for a walk outside after dinner and sat on a bench. She spoke to me about Indian Astrology. I didn’t even know there was such a thing! I was only vaguely familiar with Western Astrology signs such as Virgo and Capricorn. I had heard of Chinese Astrology with its different symbols and representations. The introduction to a third field of astrology was both confusing and intriguing.

I noticed that my left shoe was coming apart at the bottom. This was a hell of a time to look like a bum. I didn’t have any backup shoes in my car. I could only pray (figuratively speaking) that she didn’t notice. What would she think of me. A dude wearing shoes so old and cheap that they come apart on the date. As we sat on the bench, I felt something very powerful. She was talking, but for about a minute, I couldn’t even hear her words. All that I could hear was my heart beating. No, I mean it! As you read this, imagine your own heart beating. Got it? Now multiply that sound and feeling by like 100 and you’ll get an idea of what I felt while sitting on that bench next to Kasshvi. I felt a little sweaty as well. I wanted to grab her and kiss her so badly, but I knew it wouldn’t have been appropriate in that moment. After all, she was talking about her own passions. Far be it from me to interrupt her with a lip press. I again walked her to her car that night. She smiled and produced another ephemeral embrace and once again my face encountered a very effective hair shield. I was beginning to suspect that this was the way Indian women did things. No kissing on dates. Limited touching. I wasn’t used to it, but it was the price to pay for her company.

Our third date was at a theater and pizza place. We went to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I had already seen it, but I didn’t tell her that. After the movie, we went to talk at a place called Mellow Mushroom. I think the place is closed down today, but at the time, I loved that place. It was so colorful and while the food was a bit pricey, it was worth it because the atmosphere was also relaxed. It was never really busy at night.

We discussed the movie. She pointed out some technical nonsense in the film, which was not surprising coming from an engineer. However, I told her that it was a science fiction movie. They had to come up with some technobabble to push the climax. We also talked about how much she hated Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom’s depiction of the goddess Kali. She seemed especially perturbed and insulted by it. I didn’t tell her at the time, but when I was a kid, I really liked that movie.

I walked her to her car that evening as usual. It was December in Florida, so it was … “cold” and we had a plan for me to safely walk her to her car and she would drive me to my own. I remember thinking that it was a very long walk to her car, but it gave us more time to talk. We talked about linear algebra for engineers, more religion, and why Star Trek was better than Star Wars anyway. We got into her car and she drove me to the garage where my own vehicle was located. I didn’t let her hug me this time. I went in very quickly and kissed her on the cheek! It was the best cheek kiss I had ever given a woman. Why? Was it because I could barely touch her through our encounters? She smiled at me and said good night.

I texted her several times for a fourth date. She didn’t respond for days. I went to work and usually kept my phone away from me because it’s such a huge distraction. After work, I would look forward to checking my messages because I was sure she’d reply eventually but … I was disappointed each time. She simply was not calling or texting me any more.

What happened? I thought we had a good time together. Was she ghosting me because of the kiss? Are Indian women THAT conservative? They have to kiss at some point. Isn’t it a man’s job to kiss a woman that he’s attracted to? Maybe in her culture, three dates is too soon. Where I come from, one date is enough! Maybe she saw that my shoe was falling apart on that second date. That must have turned her off. It could be that something has happened to her. Maybe she got hurt. It wouldn’t be the first time a woman I’ve dated got genuinely hurt in between dates but what are the odds of that? I just didn’t know. This went on for about 2 weeks.

One day, after work, I looked at my phone and saw a very long message. It was from Kaashvi! I was very excited to receive something from her. I remember still wearing my collared blue shirt from work while reading the message. I'll give you the gist of it:

I had such a good time with you. I have met a man that works as an emergency room physician. I’ve been seeing him for a few days now and I wanted you to know that you’re a good man that deserves a good woman. You will find her. Take care of yourself, Steve.

This was all I got from her and you know what? I wasn’t all that sad. If anything, I felt better. She at least took the time to write something and let me know what was going on. It also confirmed that she was a woman of some integrity and courage, which is what I’d suspected from the beginning. She was not the type to become a ghost simply because she was no longer interested in a fellow. I sat down and said out loud to myself:

“At least I don’t have to kiss any more hair…”