The First Time I Lied

Let’s be honest with ourselves and admit that we all are filled with imperfections and what keeps us going forward is our idea of being perfect. Every day, we strive to become a perfect version of ourselves which is not easy at all. Tables turn, unexpected things happen and we end up with failure. Now this failure is a totally strange person, that person with whom you will feel uncomfortable with. That person whom you can’t look straight into his eyes. Very few of us are gifted with the ability to deal with failures; others just become anxious and start panicking. This is where lies come in to comfort us. Lies are amazing. They bridge the gap between our imperfect reality and the perfect dream.

Everyone at one point or other while growing up realize that the mind, the thoughts and the fears are his own. Then only one becomes capable of lying. Now everyone has their firsts and lasts and both are equally unforgettable. So here is the experience of my first lie:

I was a teen back then studying in 7th standard. Now our science teacher asked us to make a working model that demonstrates a scientific phenomenon for project. I was very enthusiastic about science so that day itself I took a wire, curled it at the end and placed two aluminum strips on the curled end and then hanged the wire into a glass jar through the cap. So whenever I touched the wire with some statically charged object (like touching scale after rubbing it on hair) the aluminum strips gaining the same charge repel each other. So that was my project which looked like this;

I brought it the next day (Day 1) but was unable to muster enough courage to show it to the teacher as I was the only one with his project ready. I was expecting others to bring the project on the same day as mine or the teacher asking for the project but none of this happened.

Day2: Nothing. Only some of the students brought the model but again the teacher didn’t ask.

Day3: It was my 3rd consecutive day and I was determined to show the teacher the project no matter what but she was absent.

Day4: Ah! I forgot my model and teacher walks in with a new register in her hand. She announced “today there won’t be any lecture and you are going to show me the models that you have made”. To add to the tension somehow everyone miraculously had brought their projects except me. I guessed I missed the part where she announced the date of submission of the project. And a few minutes later my ordeal began.

She started the roll count from 1. Roll no. 1 stood up. She asked where’s your project? He showed it to her and got an A.

Roll no. 2 wasn’t lucky enough though. Just like me he had forgotten his project today. So he told her that he’ll bring the project tomorrow and the teacher said “I’ll give you an E tomorrow but for now come here and stand with your hands up. Then I realized that sooner or later I’m going to end up like that guy and my mind started wondering what else I could say. Roll call continued and everyone got their projects demonstrated to teacher.

Then came roll no. 15.Teacher asked where’s your project to which he stupidly replied that I brought it yesterday but you were absent. Teacher became infuriated and scolded him. He joined the roll no.2.

One by one I saw all of my excuses being tested and failing gloriously. Now with almost 5 minutes remaining in the period, she decided to take a different route of questions. Instead of “show me your project” she retorted to “Have you brought your project?” Now the word "Have" is of importance here. Most of the students replied “Yes” and surprisingly she wasn’t cross checking. And then the real tug of war started between the mind and the heart, the kind of scene you see in movies with devil and angel sitting on your shoulders.

One option was just to say “Yes” to her question and if I was lucky enough she wouldn’t check and I would get away safely. But obviously I wasn’t feeling good about myself because then I will be lying and also if the teacher asked to show her my project then I would be caught: Dead end for me .

Other option was to say “No” but that would mean some scolding and slaps from teacher along with some punishments. So 2nd option wasn’t very lucrative. Several times in my mind I imagined giving both the answers and then foreseeing the consequences but couldn’t come up with a definitive answer.

As the roll call progressed my mouth became dry and felt very nervous. My heart beating with all its force as if supporting me to tell the truth but when my turn came I decided to take chances, decided to face come what may, risked my reputation of being a truthful and sincere student; I decided to lie! . She called my roll number, I stood up still trembling legs maybe. She threw the question at me “Did you brought your project?” I thought, “Wait a minute! She just asked did I bring the project? That’s a different question and I can get away with that”. I replied “Yes, I did” as truthfully as I could because yes I did bring my project earlier. And she was okay with that and said then you get an A! I exhaled a sigh of relief. My partner was dumbstruck seeing what just happened and was staring me as if I had committed any crime but I knew I hadn’t and I have spoken the truth. You wanna know why he was watching me with such resentment? because he was roll no. 2!

In retrospect, I realized why I was so hesitant to lie in the first place? Answer was not fear or shyness. It was something that I understood as a very young child.

As a child I happen to came across the letter which Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru (India's first prime minister) wrote to Indira Gandhi(his daughter then & India's 3rd prime minister later) while he was in jail during freedom struggle. Throughout his career Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru spent around 9 years in jail and owing to this he couldn't be there for the most part of his daughter's childhood : A crucial time where habits and morals start cementing themselves into one's character. There was this one sentence that I still remember today :

Don't do any action for which you have to lie.

And I realized why. Because it makes you weak and doubtful by keeping track of all the lies that you've been telling people. You live with a constant fear in the back of your mind that someday it can be exposed and that day everything you've been building all these years will come crumbling down to rubbles. A person with nothing to hide and admit will have a fearless character because he reached that stage by doing the right actions; actions for which he didn't have to lie.

Thanks for reading.

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