The Fireworks Exploded Love

I had party for New Year's, I was pretty excited considering there was a boy I was looking forward to seeing going to be there. Well... it's more complicated than it is. You see, we dated for a couple months then broke up and now we are just on and off.

I arrive at the party; I search all around the party till I catch him outside on the deck.

But he seems to be talking to someone already...

Why am I worried? It's just a party, people talk at parties.

But then he puts his hand on the small of her back...

Exactly the way he used to do to me.

It means... "I've got you.".

And when he did it to me it made me feel safe and have a sense of belongingness.

But then I realized, he will never do that to me again...

So here I am again, crying.

Crying for my broken heart that is now more unfixable.

I never thought my heart could get anymore broken...

Even though I felt safe and loved at the time... it would always break somehow.

I'm completely adrift, with no compass or no map, or a sense of where to go or what to do...

So I just go back home...

Into my room where I know I feel most safe from. Snuggled in my cozy, familiar room, I feel a deep sense of comfort and security, like nothing can harm me here.

But now I feel more alone before I even left...

Feelings lonely, crying, heartbroken...

Feeling that you could never be loved the same way he used to love you...

It's not making anything better.

Now I'm overthinking, thinking about how he was touching her.

Knowing the exact way she felt, the way she felt love from him...

Did he do this to me on purpose?

Did he know I was there watching?

Was this to sabotage me?

Did he never take me seriously??

And yet the list continues... worrying about every single detailed that I worried about for the past months...

Why am I sitting here worrying about someone who doesn't even love me?

On new year's....

Why do I feel so...empty?

On new year's....

Why do I feel...unloved.

On new year's....

So there, I cry. Crying alone with negative thoughts of feeling unworthy.

A loud noise abrutply appears...

What was that?

I go to my balcony to check.

The night sky erupts in a dazzling display of light and color. Fireworks burst and boom overhead, painting the darkness with brilliant hues of red, green, blue and gold. Each explosion blossoms into a glittering flower before fading into smoke.

The cheers and shouts of celebration from people mingle with the crackle and pop of the fireworks. Looking up at this beautiful spectacle, I can't help but feel a surge of hope and optimism.

Maybe this was a sign of a new beginning...

A sign of re-birth...

Re-birthing into myself, my true self that was hiding all this time.

The fireworks continue, the colours embrace my abilities to understand where I stand.

It must be a new beginning. A new start for me to understand what I'm capable of.

A new start for standing on my own business and not being a door mat to others.

A new start where I put myself first... not someone that never loved me~

~

Authors notes:

Happy New years Everyone!! 💞🎉Thanks for reading my story! 💞

Unfortunately, I did end up just watching the fireworks from my balcony alone, but I was inspired to write this story because it felt like a new beginning where I take control for my own happiness and not allow love to interfere and destroy it.