The Embarrassment Countdown

Month 1: Happy & filled with lust and Fantasies of a uniquely great future with marriage, home and kids. Imagined a whole life with you and it felt so real. Meeting your family so quick It felt like one of those LOVE at FIRST site type of situations. However I had noticed small lies but thought nothing of it because I’m a ride or die girlfriend. However OFF RIP, I realized with your action’s & dealings I might end up dead. Even then I ignored them because it was something NEW. Not realizing you are just like the last one just with a different face. During this month I seen a lot of things that should have made me just leave you alone. Not only did you lie about your living situation, number of kids, relationship status. You actually lied about small things such as money & education.

Month 2: Lust is so powerful it can make you blind to all the red flags & make you put small minor supposedly insignificant things to the side. Referring to lust is funny because I am not sure that lust was what I was feeling for you. As I was placing the small situations to the side, they slowly were building up & making bigger issues for me. From the start I saw the red flags, but those greenish/brownish eyes mesmerized me. Made me feel like all issues can be dealt with. We would bicker about small stuff, and you would speak in a harsh manner to me, but it was not too crazy, so I chucked it up to regular couple disagreements. Unfortunately, the Voice in the back of my head was telling me to RUN but I just wanted to see this relationship through. I just needed to prove to my most inner conscience thoughts that I’m not putting myself in a situation I can’t get myself out of. what am I doing to myself? I kept asking myself this out loud while looking at the depressed soul staring back in the mirror.

Month 3: You see things that you don't like but you ignore them because you are paying attention to the superficial benefits. Such benefits such as looks will fade even when maintained well. It will still show the wear and tear & years of ALL your actions. However, some people think their looks will remain forever. You unfortunately were one of those people. A few months in we had already had at least 5 arguments that honestly two grown adults could have discussed calmy and came to a reasonable resolution. However, you wanted to express how much of a “MAN” you were. The only thing you showed me was a physically grown man with the brain of a 16 year old. You thought having expensive clothing was more important than anything. When I listened to you justifying buying $1000 pair of Amiri jeans & then learning you had no job or any type of income, I questioned you. Then I learned you had 2 kids that you do not take care of. I just knew I should of just left after all these red flags. Our issues got worst when i I found out that you actually had more than 2 kids. You stupidly was claiming some kids only if you got as long with them and/or their mother. Yes, multiple baby mothers too. There was a new one every other week. Then i learned you had a wife but you was going through a divorce. Like what else am i bound to find out?