THE DAY MY WORLD TURNED BLUE

I was a bright, bubbly three-minute-old baby when I met Hattie Holt. Hattie was born in Syprel Crit, Arkansas in 1927. She was a magnificent Mother, Wife, Sister, and Friend, but I knew her as Grandma. She was full of life and loved to gamble only with her money, never her life, as she said. She worked as a Restaurant Manager and Server for over 32 years. A little-known restaurant in Highland Park, Michigan called the Hi-Liter, is where she worked her magic on us all. She wowed customers daily with her amazing attitude, great food and desserts, and bright smile. The tunes on the huge jukebox serenaded customers and employees alike with Motown tunes and old-school favorites as you dined. Grandma would buzz around waiting tables, handling staff issues, bookkeeping, and running the restaurant with only a high school education but she was the smartest person with numbers and language that I knew. She taught herself business management and accounting.

She was an absolute wonder! She helped her five grandchildren to come up in this business. When I was twelve, I had the pleasure of joining her and learning the business firsthand. It all happened because I wanted the brand new 1996 Grant Hill Filas for my tennis team outfit. As a team, we had been discussing these particular shoes because they matched our outfits and equipment bags. I knew when we went back to school after the summer was over that all my teammates would have them, So I asked my mom. She had four children, of which I'm the Eldest. I knew being a single parent, she was stretched thin, but I had to ask! So, I did. I got all my chores done early just to ask and she told me, "Mary, I don't have the money right now to afford that and do for your siblings, as well. That's $100.00 times four, baby." I started to be sad, but I thought instantly of my grandma, "Mom, can I go around the corner and talk to Grandma?" Mom looked at me sideways, "What are you up to little girl?" I smiled "I got a plan on how to afford the shoes, but I have to talk to Grandma first!" I said as I left running out the door to my Grandma's house. As soon as I turned the corner, Grandma was sitting on the porch conversing with her next-door neighbor & best friend, Mrs. Atkinson. I ran up to the house, said excuse me for my presence interrupting the conversation, and sat down. I waited patiently for Grandma to finish her conversation. As soon as she did, I got up to hug her and walk with her into the house.

Once inside, I asked Grandma for a moment of her time to discuss a business matter. She was surprised but we sat down on the living room sectional. It took me about ten minutes to explain that I wanted to work with her, in the restaurant on the weekends to earn the money for the shoes. Grandma sat back and considered my proposal to wash dishes and learn how to wait tables, all by her tutelage. She went silent for about ten minutes. I sat there, waiting for her to pat me on the head and tell me NO, as my mom did. She smiled at me and said, "Go get my purse from upstairs on the bed." I was in pure shock, so I beat those stairs down to get her purse. I came back promptly, and she took the purse. She said "I will give you half now and the other half at the end of the summer. You astound me cause you're willing to work for what you want. So, you got your wish! Take this home and tell your Mama I said put it up. Them, get some clothes and come back. My cab will be here at 3:30 a.m. You start then, ok?"

I ALMOST complained about the Jesus' Resurrection hours I had to be up by, but Grandma didn't play! If your butt wasn't in the seat when she said, you would get left! So, I did exactly what she said and came back. I worked with my Grandma on the weekends from 1994 (when I was twelve years old) until the Restaurant closed due to an electrical fire in early 1997. Those were the most amazing summers of my life. To be by her side in the early mornings, baking, washing dishes, learning to wait tables with style and grace, helping prepare breakfast and lunch for others, I had a blast! I even got the chance to see her act in U2's video 'If God Will Send His Angels '. It was filmed at the Hi-Liter restaurant in Detroit in late 1997, for the release of U2's album, Pop. It also is on the City of Angels soundtrack.

My Grandma and Her friend Earl are featured in the first panes of the video. My Grandma leans across Bono several times (as if he's not there) to get stuff, while she and Earl sit in the booth and talk. She would go on to say that Bono was super handsome and polite, and it was one of the best experiences in her life besides meeting B.B. King in a nightclub! Afterward, The Restaurant never reopened. Grandma's cancer returned for the fourth time in her life. She went into a four-year vaginal cancer battle, and I went with her! My 17th Birthday was approaching fast in June of 2001. I thought I would be graduating and enjoying my new life in the Army, serving my country. However, this would be the year that my entire life and the world around us all, would change. I ended up having to switch schools because I moved in with Grandma. The new school district would not let me graduate on time, because I just moved into the district. I had to do a year of residency first, Graduation would be held off until JUNE 2002! Over the summer, we tried to adjust to Grandma’s condition teetertottering back and forth, as I started work for the Detroit Tigers at Comerica Ballpark. I woke up the Saturday before my 18th Birthday to the news from Grandma’s Hospice Nurse Ms. Donna, that grandma had taken a turn for the worse. The exact words were, “We’re at the point of no return, darling. Ms. Hattie isn’t getting better this time. I’m so sorry but we should be preparing ourselves for the end.” I almost died right there!

You mean to tell me that the person I have loved ever since I was able to comprehend, I have to say goodbye to? The woman who taught me what it was to be a Lady with style, grace, and sassiness? The woman who taught me how to read the bible, pray, and love God for myself? The woman who saved my very existence when My mother didn’t know what to do with a premature baby, being a new Mom? NOPE, I wasn’t taking that! I couldn’t stomach all of what Donna said right there. I kissed my morphine medicated Grandma on the head, told her I loved her and had to get to work. I was in a confused, sorrowful daze most of that day. Sunday, June 30th, 2001 came, My 18th Birthday! I was ready for a party. However, none of the coworkers or school friends I invited, other than two close friends and family came. I took it in stride and had a great time with my family. When Monday came, I walked into work & my coworkers apologized immensely because they read the day wrong. The coworkers thought the invite said July 4th. We had a doubleheader that day, they should’ve known I would not have planned a party for that day, since it was in the middle of a workweek and Independence Day! So, I let it go and went about my week. Wednesday came and Grandma was up and alert! She called all of us to her bedside and talked to us two by two until she talked to all five of us. She had special instructions for all of us for her impending death. I told her she wasn’t going anywhere. I thought her being up and alert meant this was the turnaround I prayed for. She took my hand and told me, “Well little girl, this time, I will be leaving and you’re going to have to be strong for everyone.” My Grandma stated that she was starting to get dizzy about the head and she laid back on the bed. I stayed there until I heard the blaring horn of My Best friend’s truck outside, beckoning me to this double header we had to work on. I told Grandma I would call off, to be with her and she told me if I did, I wouldn’t make it to my next birthday. Holt Women don’t take days off unpaid unless it’s scheduled. I laughed, kissed my grandma, grabbed my work hat, and headed reluctantly down the stairs to Comerica Ballpark.

I wish now I would have defied her wishes and stayed home because that would be the last day, I would see her alive. Grandma went into the hospital on Wednesday, July 4th, 2001, after I went to work. I didn't know that until the next morning cause the game wasn't finished until 1 a.m. When I got home around 3 am, The house was quiet and I fell into bed thinking grandma was asleep and I tried my best not to disturb her. The next morning while I'm getting ready for work, I go to say something to my grandma and her bed was empty. I flew into a fit after I checked the house and couldn't find her. I knocked on my Uncle's bedroom door and he told me grandma had taken a turn for the worse after I left, she lost her voice and was in the hospital. I had to work that night and Friday, and I couldn't call out because all home games were mandatory unless you were sick. I wouldn't be able to see my grandma until Saturday.

When I finally got a day off, I got up and got ready to head, alongside my mom, to the hospital. However, Uncle Burt received a phone call from the hospital telling us to come now for grandma, they didn't know how much longer she had. My uncle Burt ran out the door without me and took off in his work van. I headed for the bus stop to meet my mom, who was already on her way to the house from Downtown Detroit. We met up on the bus and rode out to the hospital.

When we arrived, we asked for my grandma’s room number because she had been moved overnight. WE made it to the ICU floor, but Grandma had already breathed her last and it was evident on ALL the faces of the Nurses’ there, when we walked up. I asked How Grandma was doing and Nurse Barbara burst into tears, “I’m so sorry Mary, she passed away a half an hour ago.” I stood back in absolute shock and walked back to the hallway towards the room. The Nurses head in behind me and My Mom stops me at the door. “Baby” She said with tears forming in her eyes “Don’t go in there.” I moved my mom out of the way and pulled back the curtain. I was horrified that grandma was already in a body bag!

My Uncle was so lost in his grief that he told the nurses to get grandma prepared for the funeral home and that no one else was coming. I walked out in the hallway and screamed at the top of my lungs and slid down to the floor against the wall, sobbing for my grandma. the People in the hallway across from me looked shocked. A nurse went in to prepare Grandma for us to see. She was still warm to the touch. As I touched her face, held her hand, and kissed Grandma’s cheek for the last time, my mom sobbed hard saying, “What do I do now Mama?” I walked around to my mom and hugged her tight. My professional mode kicked in instantly. I went to the Nurses’ station to start carrying out my grandma’s wishes she told me on Wednesday. I alerted my Great Uncle Monroe and Aunt Willie and other family members to her passing. Then Mom and I started the long road to her house, to tell my siblings. We all died a little that day. The Rock, the wise Matriarch, the Glue of our family was gone. The days leading up to her funeral were the worst because it set in for all of us, that she was really gone from our lives! I was forever changed because the day the world turned blue for me, I lost my best friend, my teacher, my heartbeat, my SHERO. This year is the twentieth anniversary of Hattie's death. Twenty years later, I am still recovering.