The Consequences of a Seemingly Small Decision

kaaI am going to begin this blog with telling you a little about myself and what my life has been like the past 4-5 years. The above picture is when it all started. I still hold a stupid grudge over why I used to believe this all happened. It all begin with- wait for it fellas- a friggin GIRL!. And that segways into my new outlook on life and all of the fuckery that comes along with it. Ok so I was laying in my bed one night getting some good sleep when out of nowhere, the chick I was with calls and starts begging me to come over and handle business. Which most guys are like hell yea bro, well again I was sleeping safely and soundly in my apartment. Agan safely. Well after pondering it for a while and realizing that I wasnt going to win because she would be mad now or in the morning. So I said yes Ill come over. She lives one city over from me me-(Billoxi,MS, her- Ocean Springs, MS) and it was about a 30-35 minute drive. As my luck goes, and youll see as I slowly peel of the layers of terribel shit that I have let effect me so much, the wreck that changed my whole freaking life as I know it always goes, I got literally 7 houses down from her driveway where i was about 1/4 mile too on that back, dark, quiet country road that held the house containing the squaking, needing, crying drama queen that I awoke from a peaceful and safe slumber confined inside my warm and comfortable apartment while my brand new beautiful $65,000 Ford F-150 King Ranch sat in her spot, safely and soundl. SKKRRRRR BOOOOMM BOWWWW CRASH KCHHSSHHHHH!!!! I quickly jump to attention with the first loud BOOM which was me taking out the first mailbox. Amidst, all of the frightening sounds of glass shattering and steel crunching, It quickly hit me that i was not dreaming and I had foolishly dreamed that I was already at her house when in all seriousness, I was within a stones throw of being there but now was caught in the middle of a nightmare where I am doing 55mph on a dark back road and am fighting for my life to gain control of my truck before and tires catch. My headlights illuminated the tree line and a slid back and forth trying to correct the slide until I see the draining ditch, 6 feet deep and full of large, sharp and deadly boulders. When mt truck swings back around left for the last time, everything went bright white. Amazingly, I do not recall seeing anything during violent rolls but I could hear everything and, honestly, the crunching sounds have stuck with me to this day. I have nightmares about it all of the time. I hear the glass shattering all around me while the body of the truck is being crushed like a coke can and the tires exploding sound like 12 gauge shotgun shells being fired in the best headphones you could buy.

Then all of a sudden, silence... The more eeri silence surrounds my unrecognizable truck and I sit there wondering what the fuck just happened. I ponder whether I am alive because I do not feel pain. I remember thinking “shit, my dad is going to be pissed about this broken windshield as I still sit in my drivers seat and debate whether to call 911 or not.

This is where shit started getting weird and although, this was 5 years ago, Im still trying to put pieces back together and just wonder. How???