Teenage years
Loosing My Mind (and Body)
The title to this work is dramatic. I'm dramatic, so I guess that it fits. But this is also somewhat of a rant. So, I'm obviously not going to go into a great amount of personal detail here (funny, because I spill all my mental secrets), but I do want to talk, so talk I will.
By Sabrina Jameson4 years ago in Confessions
MY FIRST LOVE
It was the first day of school after the summer and I was 15 years old at that time when I fell in love with a boy two or three years older than me. The time has passed a lot after that but still, I have vivid memories of that boy and those ecstatic feelings. He may have forgotten me but I still sometimes think about him unconsciously.
By Nisha Thulung Rai4 years ago in Confessions
I'm Ok
Questioning the answer I’ve given allot lately. This is my confessions. Sometimes I lie to myself and say I'm ok. Most of the time I lie to others when I say I'm ok. The truth is I’m not ok, sometimes I just want to scream until I pass out. Sometimes I wish I had the balls to say, I'm not ok. I am twenty-seven years old and I just found out it is ok, to not be ok. I am now more aware of mental health. For years things I have felt I could not speak on. Due to my past, I was doomed at the age of 6 l. By the time I was 13 I had 3 sexual abusers haunting not only my dreams but my everyday life. Having to live in the world alone because I couldn’t trust anyone my mindset matured and my childhood was left behind quickly. I’m ok. I have repeated to myself through the years with tears running wild like ocean water down my face. I eventually blocked out my trauma enough to fail myself again. I trusted someone who I thought was an older brother figure to me. He became my 4th sexual abuser and yet I still have to continue to be Ok and remain a functional mess. But I’m proud to say I’m a step closer to being better because I acknowledge it. I know now that all those times I was not ok but I do want to be better than ok and that starts with the truth. I told my mom and dad what happened to me on December 2, 2021. I’m proud of myself. I came so far when I thought I would get nowhere. Some would say I was cursed because I now I'm a lesbian. But I do NOT think my sexual preference is based on what happened to me. In fact, I believe my sexuality is a blessing because I don't think a male could give me the love that was stolen from me the very first time my innocence became someone's option. The woman I fell in love with gave me the will to live honestly now more than ever now that my secret is out. It has been 6 years and throughout everything, she sits here comforting me using my love language and I cringe at the physical touch of anyone but welcome her's I am enveloped in peace. Saying what happened to me out loud is something I didn't think I would survive to do. I have social anxiety and can only be around certain people as well as if I do have people in my presence it's a limited amount of time. Now that I brought you up to speed with a few things that are going on in my life can you understand why I am now buckling down on my mental health, working on being around a family who should now see through my unauthentic smile, but has only shown me reasons why dealing with this alone could still be better. Both routes I have chosen are extremely difficult if I survived endless torture from others and myself for 21 years I think I owe it to myself to Live in my truth. I don't understand others' thought processes when it comes to this topic in but I can say there is no handbook on how to survive. There is no time frame on when you can speak your truth. Since the day you were born it was always supposed to be on our time and when we were ready. If you read this please understand it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to feel how you feel and express yourself. It’s ok to still have hope and try again.
By D.A.M.N Ent.4 years ago in Confessions
My first time kiss
The month must have been like November-December. The sky was clear, the sun had set. We were enjoying the sun with our friends sitting on the college campus itself, today we friends were throwing things here and there when my attention was fixed near the main gate of the college.
By Mohit Chawla4 years ago in Confessions
New Yankee Stadium
The New Yankee Stadium Georgia Toews So there we were, the widow the lesbian and me. Me being the 17 year old kid who forced this road trip upon the widow and the lesbian, just to see the Yankee stadium before they destroyed it. ‘Course I planned on seeing it a couple years ago, just never really worked out to come down to New York till now. The game was only tomorrow though in the evening so we had some time to kill during the day. I’m not stupid, I know that they’re people, but I had no idea how I was supposed to kill 8 hours of daylight with these two women. The widow was my grandma, she can’t really walk too much, so the whole idea of exploring downtown had gone to shit. The lesbian, Martha, that used to be my grandmas neighbour, till grandma became a widow, then she moved closer to us. I never really even talked to her that much, the lesbian, not on account of her liking women and all that, I didn’t really care, she can do what she wants. I just always feel bad around her because one time she took care of a little girl, we would play together the girl and I, then the little girl had to leave, go back to her real mom my grandma said. At the time I didn’t know what that meant so I asked Martha if she was just babysitting and that I wanted the girl to come back.
By Georgia Toews4 years ago in Confessions
The Stolen Fake ID
All the popular kids made the trek out to Long Island where somebody knew someone else who knew where to obtain authentic-looking documentation. For us, we thought ourselves lucky in getting an address from Carla’s brother. His wallet held a card of obvious quality workmanship; it was enough to convince any bouncer to overlook his crass immaturity. Unfortunately, as we were working out transportation arrangements, we heard that the head shop he’d gone to had been raided by the police. To say that we were devastated was an understatement. We had no other choice but to travel in the other direction. We'd go to Times Square, where it was rumored, but not confirmed, that fake identification could also be acquired.
By Nancy Gwillym4 years ago in Confessions
The Choice
I had a choice. To save my life or to die a slow, disfiguring death. I faced the world looking down. A mass of collapsed bones compressing my heart and lungs. I stood against the wall in my undergarments, red faced, and exposed. A room full of medical specialists examined my spine with their hands. Questioned repeatedly to figure out if I was in pain, I refused to answer. I felt nothing. I was numb. My mind, a refuge.
By Joey Garofalo4 years ago in Confessions
