Humanity
Truth and Dare
I am a survivor of abuse: psychological, emotional, and sexual, with instances of physical thrown in to keep things interesting. As a result of the pain and isolation I constantly lived with, I became angry and bitter at a very young age. Looking back, it's heartbreaking as I now see myself as I was through the lens of many decades and I wonder, where were those people who could help? But back then, there was little recourse for any but the most seriously abused children. The rest of us endured and did the best that we could.
By Rebecca McKeehan4 years ago in Confessions
Good Intentions
The world works in mysterious ways. Sometimes we find ourselves doing all the right things for all the wrong people. We bend over backwards so the people you care about can stand up straight. We Treat certain people different then others because we want to stand out to that person; show them that we arn't like the rest. One of two things will happen in that scenario. One. either your effort is recognized, appreciated, and then accepted, and you get the chance to continue to make a difference in that person's life. Or two. your efforts go unnoticed and your intentions are misunderstood or underappreciated, leaving you curious what you should have done differently to secure that spot in their life. But if you feel your intentions were good, and you know you did everything you in your power to hold on; than don't ponder on what you shoulda woulda coulda done differently, and don't be curious why you weren't good enough. Because the truth is that Some Things just arn't meant to be and won't always turn out the way that you want them to. But always the way they are suppose to. So for now sit back, and find piece of mind in knowing that you will be "very" hard to forget. And so easy to remember. People will always take for granted the things they arn't in short supply of. And around the time they begin to realize what they had was a little more valuable than they thought. You will begin to realize that maybe you deserved better the whole time. Trust me. Someone somewhere is waiting for everything you have to offer. At some point in your life you will meet someone who will completely change the outlook on everything you have ever found to be important. All of a sudden all those things that you thought meant the most; will suddenly become stepping stones leading to the point where you can literally feel your life change. You may not fully recognize the impact that this connection will have on your life right away; but as time passes and the bond that the two of you share grows, you will silently make plans on how exactly you are going to live out the rest of your life. Most likely, one of you simply cant picture it without your new found "soulmate". It's a match made in Heaven and you refuse to let it slip away. Right? But what happens when time does what time does best? Inspire, create and reinforce change. What happens when she decides that she just doesn't feel the same way you do? Maybe it's something you did? Maybe it was out of your control the whole time? It's unfortunate but none of that matters anymore because there is a crack in the once solid foundation. In my experience; love does not go backwards. If the time comes that feelings truly begin to fade. It's so hard to permanently recover from that. I say permanently because no relationship is without issues. You "can not" have a strong; unbreakable bond if it has never been tested. It only weekins when one of you just no longer believes that what you have is worth fighting for. This is the wall that i call the point of no return. Relationships that have hit this point are most likely hanging by a thread, and I would call that thread remorse because yes; You'll both miss what used to be. Ofcourse. But the thing keeping it together is no longer Unboundaried love; but guilt, or sorrow. The part of your brain that cant help but not want to hurt the person that you know without a doubt, does not want to live without you. Then the time comes that he has no choice. And is forced to watch that love slip away forever because she just doesn't feel the same. She just changed your life for the second time and there is nothing that you can do about it. The sad part though really; is that you never realized you would end up loving them longer without them, then you did while they were yours.
By Dustin Potter4 years ago in Confessions
Searching for Home
You don’t know what home feels like until it no longer exists. When the comforts of the love that was embedded in your soul, and poured out of your physicality daily is no longer apart of your routine, you know that place you found familiar has lost its kinship to your spiritual and fleshly being. Stripped of your culture, your heritage that enveloped you-called you – summoned you into greatness was taken in a heist so greatly accomplished that the thieves still reap the benefits of this bounty to this day. The intelligence mishandled, falsely assigned, funds misappropriated and familial connections left behind. The horizon full of yellows, and the plentiful land mixed with hues of all shades of browns, burnt orange sun reflections and the reds, greens, and blacks- so beautiful that they most certainly are deeply indescribable. Chiseled faces, with cheekbones only the runways of Heaven could behold. Skin tones free from blemishes caused by man-made toxins and diseases. Skin so buttery smooth to the touch that you forget it belongs to a human being. I do not remember my home because I only know the stories that I have been spoon fed. Truths never proven- only hypothesis and probabilities of the homes of my ancestor’s existence.
By Marshekia Raven4 years ago in Confessions
Restricting Access to a Third Dose of Vaccine Could Be FDA's Worst Idea Yet
My very few regular readers know that I recently took a third dose of Pfizer Covid-19 vaccine. You can read all about the reasons for my decision here. I just got back the results of my first neutralizing antibody titer assay post 3rd dose and the numbers are outstanding. For this most recent test I was able to have the assay run against the Washington (original outbreak) strain, as well as the South African and UK variants. Delta variant was not included as labs across the world are still struggling to expand their stocks as the virus has proven particularly delicate to handle in the lab. Ironic, given how robust this particular variant has proven to be outside the lab. In any case my titer against the South Africa variant increased from 724 to >16,000, and similar large increases were seen for UK and Washington. As a reminder 128 is considered the minimum titer for protection and the higher the number the better. My own numbers, exactly like everyone else's who has been tested had been dropping precipitously and a plot of the data suggested I had 1 or 2months of protection left at best which is one of the reasons I moved to obtain the 3rd dose when I did
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Confessions
Shattering Safety
Every move you make, every step you take, I'll be watching you. - The Police, 1983. I've been called many things in my life, some complimentary, some not so much. But there are 2 things I had never been called, dishonest or afraid. In fact, I prided myself on being neither of those things.
By Misty Rae4 years ago in Confessions
My Birth
Light; a sudden pressure like I had never felt before; cries fill the room. “Is my baby okay?” Too distressed to respond, I simply continue crying. Why would Mom take me out of the only place I’ve known and loved, to be here?? Why would she want me separated from her for even a moment? I can’t take this. The asylum-white walls of this room, the mix of chemical smells that saturate my nostrils, the harsh bright light that covers the scene-it is all just too much. All I want is for the sensory overload to be shut off-for my world to be simple again.
By Basya Penn4 years ago in Confessions
The Most Devastating Thing a Teacher Ever Said to Me. Top Story - September 2021.
2009 was a very bad year. At the beginning of February, I’d been unceremoniously laid off from a job I loved and spent the next nine months unemployed, gravely depressed, and slowly developing a methamphetamine habit. With each rejected resume came a new layer of self-hatred and self-destructive vices. I barely recognized myself.
By Jessica Conaway4 years ago in Confessions
Blinded By The Light
It was a balmy evening and would be a clear starry night. Gil and I were foodservice buyers and we were riding together to a (then) Hallsmith-Sysco sales meeting at the Wamsutta Club in New Bedford, Massachusetts. I don’t remember the exact date in 1975, but Manfred Mann was playing their big hit “Blinded By The Light”, seemingly on every FM station from Boston to Providence. We were looking sharp as the Wamsutta Club was a “gentleman’s club, and Gil and I determined if they would let us in, then we must be, by association, “gentlemen”. As we were arriving, some of our lady sales persons were being held up at the door, denied entrance, because they weren’t men; a few minutes of discussion cleared up the issue, as the part of the club we were meeting in was not part of the “Men Only” Club proper.
By David X. Sheehan4 years ago in Confessions
