Suddenly Single

We all want to live the American dream, find the love of our life, get married, and have kids. We see our parent's relationships and we either want to find love exactly like what they have or something completely opposite. When we find love, or what we think is "love" for most it hits us hard and fast. If he really captures your heart, we might even walk down the aisle and pledge to love him till death, do us part. But the truth is once you are in a relationship there are nights when you sometimes secretly wish for a way out, you love the life you have, and your kids mean the world to you, but you are living a monotonous lie that you dream of being on the other side of.

My name is Rebecca Smith and here is my story of how my American dream has left me suddenly single....

I was 28 years old, and I had told myself I was done with dating all of the wrong men. This was until I met Joseph Bridgeport, he was nothing close to what I would imagine for myself let alone be the man I would create two kids with. But as life has it, you can't help who you fall in love with. Joseph was not the most attractive man but what he lacked in looks he made up for in his charm. We fell madly in love, and he fulfilled my every need and took me to a new level of sexuality that I had never experienced before. Life was good, great actually this was up until Aunt Flow decided not to show..... Yes, this meant that we were going to be parents. I had not quite figured out my life yet but had to quickly wrap my head around the fact that I was going to be responsible for another life. My belly grew, and this also is where Joseph and I grew apart. At first, I shook it off and never let it bother me, for one I had a life growing inside of me that was taking up all my attention. After our daughter was born things remained status quo I was completely in love with this new life I created, and she captivated my time. Joseph and I fought a lot, we would have sex when it was convenient, but the passion just was not there like it was before. Fast forward 2 years another missed period meant that we would be again creating another life.

So let me stop for a second and recap, we were not happy with 1 child, and we mistakenly created another one. This was definitely a recipe for disaster, right? Well, it would have been If I had the time to notice what was happening with my life, I was completely engrossed in my two beautiful children. God had blessed me with both a daughter and a son. We attended the family gathering as a family we smiled big for our audience but the only people that we were fooling were ourselves. We would return to the same house and if it was not for the children's chatter the walls would be silent. Our sex life at this point was non-existent. Yes, I did sometimes wonder if he's not having sex with me who is he having sex with? But I blocked it out and turned my mind off of even going down that rabbit hole.

The life of unhappiness continued and why you might ask? because neither one of us wanted to admit what we both knew was true. That love doesn't live here anymore... Joseph worked two jobs and very long hours and would have very few days off. There were days when I would question if he was really at work, but this would always lead to an argument. I was at the point where I just stopped asking, I figured he was just out there making life for us. This was up until. I got a call from a blocked number saying, "Hi my name is Jewel, and I am the mother of Alex.” I had just put my kids to bed and was overly tired rubbing my eyes I tried to wrack my brain to figure out who Alex was. I had to ask, I am sorry, but I do not know who Alex is was my reply. When I got her response, it was as if my heart fell out of my chest. She cleared her throat and said, well Joseph is his father. This got me sitting up in bed straight. I took the cordless phone and went to the liquor cabinet and poured myself some wine. I remember saying, "this has got to be a joke." What really took me by surprise is that she told me that Alex was 1 and needed to see his daddy more. I think it was at this point I dropped the phone and settled into a state of hyperventilation. So many thoughts had run through my head, and so many tears down my face I was the mother of two who was so to speak doing it alone. But it was then and there that I realized I would soon officially be, suddenly single.

Want to know what happens next? Stay tuned.......