Should I Be Vocal?

Some years ago, I came across The 48 Laws of Power and one particular law stood out: "always say less than necessary."

This is important for several reasons, but I always have a lot to get off of my chest!

Could be that I didn't have many friends growing up. Could be the romantic partners that didn't give a flying f**k about my thoughts and opinions. Could be that my parents were only half-interested in my whole existence.

Who knows?

But I talk alot; therefore, I write alot.

I'm pretty candid, but somehow I've mastered the art of saying a whole bunch without saying much of anything. And when I do wanna say something...

I censor myself. I hold back. I have to think about it.

Because who cares what I have to say anyway?

I had an idea for a podcast called "Kitchen Talk with Rae"--or something along those lines. Those familiar with the term "kitchen talk" already know what I'm getting at.

So why haven't I started it yet?

Well...

My opinions on the world around me are absolutely explosive. People will hate me, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. I mean, the world already hates me, but still.

Also, my thoughts change as I learn more about things. So if I share how I feel on a given topic, I may end up retracting it later. It doesn't happen often--because I stand ten toes down on anything I believe--but as we learn, we grow; by the time the growth happens for me, my name would've already been dragged through the mud. And cancel culture is so unforgiving.

I don't know.

A part of me doesn't care what others think of me because I've gotten so used to my involuntary solitude that I prefer it. I don't care much about anything or anybody anymore.

Yet, I'm human.

I can't predict how I'll react when I see #RaenaIsOverParty trending on Twitter.

So for me to be vocal...

As if I'm not already...

Maybe I just need a healthy dose of "f**k it."

I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

What's the use of keeping it all inside? It does nothing for me. And for all I know, there could be somebody out there who needs me to be vocal.

For their healing.

For guidance.

For their next move.

And I'll be that.

I often joke about being an Earth Angel, but honestly, I'm not sure if it's much of a joke anymore. My ministry is clearly through communication, but my impact? I'm aware, but I'd rather just pretend it doesn't exist.

BECAUSE...

Being vocal isn't about attention or accolades. It's about sharing my story and letting the citizens of the world know that you are not alone.

Life is hard. It can be horrible. But as long as everyone wants to pretend that life is lovely and perfect, there has to be somebody telling the truth, even if you don't want to hear it. Why? Because reality is real. It's the only thing that any of us can identify with... Unless you like being fake.

The truth is what allows me to look in the mirror everyday and be pleased with what I see. It's the thing that saves me from utter embarassment, because at least I can own it. The truth is what fuels my work. My art. It's the reason why I'm vocal.

So maybe one day, I'll actually start that podcast. The world will absolutely hate me, but everything I feel needs to be said.

Because clearly, y'all don't have enough people being honest with you.

And being vocal sets me free. ❤️