Short Story Long

A QUICK INTRO

Every word counts. A mantra all aspiring writers hear at some point on their journey. To test my understanding of this principle, I decided to enter NYC Midnight’s 100-word microfiction challenge.

If you want to read the story, then feel free to scroll down. It’s titled Max & Molly Sitting In A Tree… and I hope you enjoy it.

If you stick around beyond that, then you can find a breakdown of the competition requirements, the judges’ verdict (including comments), and my thoughts on each aspect of the challenge.

THE STORY

Max & Molly Sitting In A Tree...

Our tree is burning and I’m standing here with a broken match.

Is that the kind of apology you wanted? That’ll teach you to cross out my name in your Biology book and write ‘Tom Spencer’ instead.

I saw you kissing him here, beneath this tree, beneath our tree. I confronted you and he gave me a black eye. And you think I should say sorry?

Well, here it is. A vivid apology. One thousand degrees of apology.

You should know, the only thing I’m truly sorry for, is not bringing enough matches to burn down the entire goddamn forest.

COMPETITION BACKGROUND

The story above was my submission for the 1st-round of the microfiction challenge. This competition is a global, annual event open to writers of all abilities. Entrants are randomly placed in groups with each group given a specific genre, an event that must occur, and a word that must be used within their story. They are then given 24 hours to craft an original piece. Judges then choose a top 15 within each group to progress to the next round of the competition.

WHY I ENTERED

I'm an amateur writer. I have no idea how good or bad my writing is. I've been working on my first novel for almost three years and during that time I've asked myself the usual questions of self-doubt: is my writing any good? Will people want to read my work? Am I wasting my time?

By entering this competition, I wanted to get a temperature check for my work. I'd never written any flash fiction before, so this was the perfect opportunity to gain some experience. Knowing how to communicate more with less is a key skill for any writer and challenges like this help develop those literary muscles.

THE ASSIGNMENT

GENRE: Romance

EVENT: Making an apology

WORD: 'vivid'

Gulp. I did wince when I saw this land in my inbox. Romance isn’t a genre I tend to read let alone write about so goodbye comfort zone.

Romance is a popular genre. I had no doubt that some of the other writers in my group would be jumping for joy at their assignments and that meant I would be on the back foot before I’d even fired up MS Word.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t see this as some fierce competition where I need to ‘beat’ the other writers. My point here is that I needed to zig when others were zagging to make the cut.

As with most things in life, my approach is to put my best foot forward and let others be the judge. I don’t see writing as a dog-eat-dog profession because, like other creative forms, it’s so subjective and dependent on the audience. I see myself as a white belt writer trying to move up the ranks until one day I find myself amongst the black belts - the Stephen Kings, and Val McDermids of this world.

THE INSPIRATION

Cute, joyful, and life-affirming. Romance tends to be associated with these qualities. That’s a huge part of its appeal and so it should be.

I figured most writers would approach the topic with these aspects in mind. I needed to stand out from them. So, I flipped the genre over and looked at the dark side of romance. The bitterness, jealousy, fear, and pain that come with the pursuit of love. I thought about when these feelings are most volatile and that gave me the narrative voice. Adolescence.

It’s worth pointing out that this story isn’t based on actual events. Despite being a huge fan of The Prodigy, I am not a fire starter (a twisted fire starter). Like any other teenager, I had my ups and downs when it came to relationships, and I felt those raw, unfiltered emotions cause havoc. But I never thought starting a wildfire would solve my problems.

Legal disclaimer aside, I had the story's perspective, next I needed the event. I thought about the ‘rituals’ for young couples in love - holding hands, writing their names in a love heart on a notebook, a first kiss, padlocks on a bridge, carving initials into… A tree lit up in my brain. Once I pictured that, I had the event.

From there I just needed a title, something innocent that can turn malevolent. The ‘teasing’ song of “[insert name] & [insert name] sitting in a tree” came to mind just as I finished my final draft.

I wanted the character names to have some alliteration and I felt the name Max added some danger, Molly some innocence. Max is also gender-neutral which makes the piece more open to interpretation.

I now had my characters, event, setting, and narrative voice. All I had to do was tell the protagonist’s story, their twisted sense of apology, and their romantic anger. The last thing to consider was and a way to include the word ‘vivid’. Like the coffee I was brewing for the evening, I let it all percolate until I was ready to write.

THE WRITING PROCESS

The assignment was sent in the early hours of a Saturday morning. I have a young family and the chance of me being able to carve out some writing time in the day on the weekend was slim to none. I had to wait until the kids were fast asleep before I could even think about writing.

It was an intense, IPA-fuelled four hours (I ditched the caffeine). Most of this time was spent deleting words rather than typing them. The backspace button became my digital scalpel as I cut word after word with surgical precision until I was happy with the story. I submitted my work and kicked back with relief.

RESULT

A few weeks later I received an email with a link to the results. It was a long, long scroll down the list of successful writers and then, right at the bottom of the list, was my name in 15th Place. I had scraped through to Round 2. Woo-phew.

I am in no doubt that I made it through by the skin of my teeth. That said, there were around 7,000 writers who entered Round 1 and only 1,500 were left standing, so I did feel a sense of accomplishment. Even if it was the last seat on the bus, I was heading on to the next stop.

JUDGES COMMENTS

A lot of competitions don’t give individual feedback unless you make it through to the shortlist. So, for NYC Midnight judges to provide just a few comments is a huge bonus. Albeit a petrifying one.

All the comments are below, I’ve made minor adjustments for brevity. My thoughts are listed under each comment.

What They Liked

Judge {2059} “I really enjoyed this narrator's voice. It gripped me from the very first line ("Our tree is burning and I'm standing here with a broken match"). That opening line introduces some story tension too. I also loved the image of crossing out the name in the Biology book and writing in a new one (great way of defining character).”

This was encouraging to read. I’d tried to make the opening line bold and striking, so for a judge to spot that meant I’d achieved something.

Judge {1955} “You did a good job of conveying the narrating character's anger and the events that caused it. I like your details--the biology book, the black eye, the matches. These help the reader visualize the scene.”

No complaints here. Keep the compliments coming, please.

Judge {2147} “The author does a good job expressing the rage of the protagonist as he destroys the very symbol of this unrequited relationship. She studies biology, and in revenge, he extinguishes a living tree and wishes he could enact further revenge destroying the entire forest. That's cold! We don't read stories for average action, and this certainly raises the stakes. "One thousand degrees of apology." Great line!”

Between you and me, the whole tree/biology metaphor was pure luck. I was trying to think of a specific yet familiar subject that readers would relate to, and biology just came to mind. If anyone asks though, I totally meant it. Honest. As for the ‘one thousand degrees of apology’ line, I was pretty proud of that and really hoping someone would notice. My ego can rest easy now.

Oh wait, it can’t…

What Needs Work

Judge {2059} “Because the story is so short, any repetition tends to stand out more than it would in a longer piece. I did think that the multiple references to the apology were perhaps one too many. You might be able to cut out a couple and use those words to define Molly a bit more as a character."

Brilliant advice. This is actionable feedback that I can use to improve and makes perfect sense.

Judge {1955} “Consider going a little deeper into the details to help the reader see who this character is. Is Max or Molly the narrating character? Is he/she a student or teacher? High school or college? To make room, look for words you can cut, such as "you think" and "you should know."

Again, there’s a lot here that makes me realize just how little I’d developed the characters. I could have built a bigger back story and left out some fluff. Even with the word count, there’s so much to improve upon.

Judge {2147} “Consider, right away this reader questions burning down a tree with a match. Pretty sure some kerosene or some other composable agent is required for such a task. Or, perhaps it's an old dried-up tree, but that's not said. It seems to represent life in this story, so, something to think about. We don't want our readers to stop to think, thus breaking the flow of the narrative. This may strike the author as cliche, but if the tree [had their] initials carved in it, that would just be so much more impactful. We leave the story thinking; if he's this enraged and willing to burn down a forest, then [it’s a] good thing Tom Spencer punched him out and got her out of the relationship. It never hurts to think about what the reader might take away from a good story. Hopefully, this was the intent of the writer. We might side with the rejected protagonist, but nobody likes a tree killer. The tree, and hence the forest - completely innocent in this conflict.”

I slapped myself when I read this. The initials were meant to be a huge part of the story. They were the origin of the idea, yet, in my eagerness to write I’d completely left this element out. I guess sometimes you can't see the wood for the tree. Ba-dum-dum-tish.

FINAL THOUGHTS

This was my first piece of flash fiction and I feel better for it. The process taught me a lot about writing in such a short space of time. I found some validation in my work and that gave me the extra boost that I needed to push on with my novel.

The feedback was difficult to read at first, but after taking a breath and dissecting the details, I found it helpful and constructive. My ambition is to become a published author and a huge part of that is building up the confidence to put my work out there for others to comment on as they see fit.

That’s also the reason why I’m writing this article; to document every aspect of my writing journey, be it positive or negative.

If nothing else, writing a piece of flash fiction was a brilliant way to spend an evening. Speaking of which, I’ve recently had the results back from the second round. I’ll be posting the story I wrote for that and my experience here soon, so keep your eyes peeled.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts. What did you think of my work? Let me know via Twitter or Facebook.

Lastly, thank you for reading my work. I hope you found it worthwhile.

All the best,

R.J.