Secret Life of a Church Family

Good morning-ting or afternoon or whatever. Let me start by introducing myself or what not. I am Noir, like the wine Pinot noir. Definitely not my mom’s idea but my dad’s; a current, used to be, or reborn alcoholic. We’ll talk about him a bit later but… yes Noir Goodwine is me. I guess they thought the name was a good play on words so I’ll take it. As an Aquarius women, we are known to be very nonchalant and have an I don’t care attitude so I had a pretty good life overall. But being the true Aquarius that I am, wise beyond my years. I have witnessed a lot of craziness. So let me give you the good wine about these people that DNA proved is my family. Now let me say before I get too deep, I don’t claim these folks anymore lol. I love them, I truly do but the messiness and craziness is not conducive to me being the unbothered successful woman that I am. Soooo I’ll start with my dad side of the family because to be honest, they will have me writing this story for years to come. Yes it is just that crazy but trust me, it is 100% true.

Let’s start off with the beginning our the family tree, well as far as who I can remember, my great grandparents. So I’ve been told by many, that I was blessed because I knew 3 out of the 4 of my great grandparents on my dad side. So let’s start with my dad’s dad dad (lol), Lewis Goodwine Sr. He is the only great grandparent, I’ve never met but I’ve heard stories and rumors about him. Lewis Sr. a veteran and pastor in a small country town. Married to Mary and raising over 6 kids. My family said he was a really great man, but the streets say he was a perv for young boys. Now, that is alleged because I don’t know and I wasn’t born but it does make a little sense when I get to the story about my dad so keep that in mind. Besides the rumors and heroic stories, that’s all I know about him. Now my great grandmother Mary, she didn’t fool with me too much because I’m black, hence the name Noir, it means black in French. She only liked the lighter complexed great-grands. Only thing I knew was that she’s a colorist and liked to kiss babies in the mouth, kinda weird and very gross. But any who, my granddad, Lewis, he’s one of the best men I know. He followed his dad’s footsteps by being drafted in Vietnam and becoming a vet and a pastor as well. My granddad has always been a straight-up type of guy, but his kryptonite has caused him some issues. The kryptonite I speak of is my darling grandmother, Lillian. Whew, before I get start on her, let’s go to her parents. Since I’ve actually known them, I can give a lengthy-er background on them.

My great grandparents, Earl and Ann, had six kids, all girls, one boy. Earl and Ann were both mixed, with white and black, and very light complexed, could easily pass for white. All of their kids are passably white, except my grandmother. My granny is not a dark woman at all, not even brown, she’s a high yella looking woman but I guess my perception of light skin is different because I am darker. So any who, due to Lillian being a shade darker than her siblings, she got treated the worse. She is the oldest of the siblings and had to take care of the kiddos while her mother and father was out partying. It’s hard to watch five other kids when you are diagnose with being blind at a young age, but hey. She made do. My grandma doesn’t not go deep into what terrors happened to her, but anytime I ask, she says “my parents did me really bad growing up but I took care of them once they couldn’t take care of themselves.” You know the typically “obey your father and mother” stuff. But what I do know is that my great grandparent’s friend touched my grandmother, multiple times. Her parents knew also and didn’t do nothing! Told her what goes on in their house, stays there. What a horrible motto. My grandmother took that abuse to protect her young siblings and swore to never speak about the night time horrors she’ve endured, until her parents died. Fast forward to 2003 and 2007, her mother and father passed away and she still keeps those secrets tucked away deep. The trauma Lillian embraced has definitely shaped her to conducted her adult life and parenting skills. I couldn’t tell you if it was for betterment or destructed of her children. Lillian’s favorite thing to say it “I promise, my kids will never not have me, especially when they are in need.”