Searching for rich boyfriend, finding one and losing him

I desperately need to find a rich successful boyfriend. I really need to. I want to be so successful. I can’t understand how is it so hard to just happen. What should I do? Where should I look for it? As i have heard before you can have everything you want. I know exactly what I want, but why its not happening?! Where am I mistaken? I really want that for myself and my future. I’m trying to be the best version of myself, working hard, helping everyone around me, giving myself as much as I can, believing when I shouldn’t, where is my mistake? I’m working the whole time, doing everything I could to become that person. I want to be with a rich, intellectual, intelligent, beautiful and good man. When I go out I see a lot of good boys but everyone of them is taken. How can I change my future?

I wrote this on 18th june 2022 at 03:15 AM. Today is 20th june 2023 02:10 AM.

A lot has changed since then. I found the one I think was the right person for me. Actually at first i thought he is just another rich boy who has no point in life, just money. When I met him i fell in love since the start. He changed me a lot. I won’t say his real name, but I will name him Mark. He was so nice to me the first he came to greet me. I didn’t see that rich man’s face, all I saw at that moment was he looking at me so shy. I like it. The next day we met again, he came to speak to me and I just felt the chemistry between us. It was so beautiful, I felt like I can speak to him for hours. I wasn’t fake, I was just myself. That night i really fell in love with him and that night change a lot of things for me. After that I couldn’t eat normally. I started losing weight. I felt bored in doing anything. After two days he sent me a message but then left me on seen. I was so stressed that I just wanted to go out to see him, but that didn’t happen. Two months I was lost, I didn’t understand why he left me on seen. I struggled a lot with my mental help that I went on psychologist. She told me that maybe I should start a conversation, maybe he is shy…I just couldn’t. And you won’t believe me but after those two months he sent me message again, it was something boring some kind of video of dj in club. I was super excited until something unexpected happened. I was at a party where i definitely knew he won’t come because it wasn’t those type of party. But he came, unexpectedly at 2:00AM he came, and he bought me a rose, for me it was the best night ever. I was so happy that I couldn’t explain. We held hands and spent the night together. My friends who were with me that night said they haven’t seen me happier in life before. They said that we looked like we were made for eachother. But guess what happened next. Yes, matbe that was the best night of my life, but the day after, the pain I felt was the worst. I don’t understand why people especially men are like that. They came in your life, show you love and then leave you like you were nothing to them. After that I sent him a photo which he only liked and after he didn’t message me. That night was the beginning and the end of something so beautiful. I also liked his new photo and story on instagram, but I didn’t get a response to that. He didn’t like my new stories and photos that I post. You have no idea how hard I experienced all this. And yes, I know that i won’t forget that night, but also I changed. I let him manipulate with me. I didn’t eat, I didn’t enjoy in the little things like before because of him. I let some idiot to make me suffer. He didn’t even said something like i like you, he is liking pics of so many girls on insta and me looking at that was like oh he must is in desperate need of girlfriend just like me, we need each other. Oh, I was so stupid then, looking now I am sad that I let him destroy my peace. I’m still angry. I cry a lot, but I know it will pass, I know when time comes the right one will come. And yes girls if you’re reading this be nice to yourself. Never let anyone come into your heart that easy. Don’t think like he is a man who haven’t seen true love, I’ll be the one who will give him, he will love me for who I am, girls, that’s all a big lie. All men are the same. You have to be nice to yourself and don't let anyone until you are sure he really wants something more than one night. We women, attach to men faster then they do to us, but also we know when something is wrong. We just feel it. I have so much to tell you about myself and my broke lovelife, but now I have to go to sleep. I will write every day, and will try to help every girl out there or boy to find their peace and never let anyone brake it.

It’s my first time writing, so forgive me if I make mistakes,

p.s. Everyone makes mistakes.