Romance is a lie.

It starts hot and heavy every relationship once hitting the intimate stage but after awhile the sex slows and life takes over. At least that's what I have experienced over my 15 years of marriage. We use to find every excuse in the book. Like sneaking off into the bathroom or smashing it up in the kitchen. Those where the hottest of times. However after having five kids the want and desire let alone the time to make the intimate moments happen. Now do not get me wrong we attempted to make time for the quick moments but it is never the same.

It sounds good and we still try to make time for each other but life has its moments. Like when we took our first vacation to Las Vegas cramped in a little car with the air conditioner broken and windows down once we arrived both hot and hungry and tired but, some how the excitement of the city breathed new life into our body's. It was almost as if we were teenagers again and we made it like jack rabbits in a meadow and did not care who saw us. It was a amazing seven days of funny moments like when the my flip flops almost melted into goo because of how hot the pavement was or my first time trying gelato at Caesars Palace or the amount of walking that was done.

When we made it back to the room it was all hot and bothered time. The saying time fly's is so true. Before we knew it time had flown so fast and we had to head back to reality and the kids. Once back it went back to the same old quickies' and rushed moments. God what I would not give to be back on vacation. It is not ok to let it get to this point I keep telling myself so I get all dolled up and attempt to pull out all the stops. It never seems to be enough. I miss the days where you do not have all the normal life interruptions however would not change the birth of my children or pets coming into our life's. But It comes to a point in ones life when enough is enough.

Do not get me wrong I keep planning the moments that might bring back the rush of Las Vegas but money and life just keeps getting in the way. I have planned a romantic getaway to Hawaii or the Cancun. Or one of our favorite place like Disney World or even another trip back to good old Las Vegas but it always seems like there is another reason why I am unable to make it happen. Why does life make things so tuff to keep a marriage going? At least that is what I keep asking myself.

I have gone as far as watching the naughty stuff to see if that can spice it up. Even have considered becoming a swinger if that is what it takes. I am reading articles and stories on how to spice it up and bring back the flame of desire but to no avail keep hitting dead ends. It's like no matter what is attempted keeps being flushed down the toilet. I have even looked into seeing a doctor to find out if there is something wrong with me. I am at my last draw hoping that we will find a way to relight the flame.

I still have the dreams at night and flashes of what it use to be. Or the fantasy's that I wish it could be. But all seems lost at this point. I'll keep looking for the answer I guess. Attempting to keep head held high and the heat coming for now stay tuned.