Resolutions

Resolutions; They Must And Will Continue To Happen

I will continue to take Alphabarker for runs. He is so eager for them. And in a way I am too. It doesn’t matter that I’m tired when I get home from work in the late afternoon. We live in the semi-countryside and the smells in the fields and perhaps even along the dirt roads are so entrancing to him. Watching his frenzy, I can almost forget the troubles in the world. And afterwards, sometimes, relaxing at home after a shower and food in my stomach, it’s as if the foliage and the colors and the sky all smile at me. I would say the crows do as well, except maybe that’s a stretch.

I will continue to do my best at my job as an intake therapist. I interview persons seeking services at a mental health center, assign a therapist or medication provider, or both, to each new client, and write a report about the information I’ve gathered from each interview. I have a list of questions to ask during each interview. “What have your moods been like lately?” “Are there any extremes in your moods or behavior?” “If you feel bad, have you found any way of coping that helps you feel better?” “Do you have any thoughts of hurting yourself or others?” “What are your goals for the future?” “What do you like most about yourself?” These are just a few of the several dozen questions I ask. The sessions evolve into the clients’ responses and then my responses to their responses. At the end, I usually ask them if they feel they can make the world a better place. Some say yes. Some say no. I’m hopeful they’ll continue to think about that question. At times I get complimented about how the interview went for them. I view “That wasn’t as bad as I’d expected” as being a compliment.

I will continue to try to learn about the human mind. Perhaps I can find ways of helping others based on what I learn. My job sometimes helps. Depressed people I’ve interviewed typically have a difficult time identifying their goals for the future, and also they don’t usually know they like about themselves. Should one approach at overcoming depression involve assisting depressed persons both in forming constructive goals and selecting and rehearsing likeable qualities which seem right for them?

But I don’t yet have any insights about how to combat anxiety. Many of the clients who report ongoing anxiety were abused as children. It’s as if the expectation that bad things will happen was imprinted in their brains. We’re at the mercy of our brain cells. And yet… what is foreign to the innate mind needn’t be a permanent resident there. Perhaps a way could be found for the cumulative experience of positive expectations to replace the existing negative expectations.

I will continue to try to find a way to understand dreams. Some of my dreams seem so vivid and important. What are their messages? Surely the quality of those messages, if I could just find out what they are, would justify all the curiosity and wonder people have had about dreams down through the ages. Perhaps unrealistically, I’m optimistic about my goal of understanding them. Nature contains patterns. Dreams are a part of nature’s ways. Is there some pattern in dreams I can discover which, once identified, could lead to a meaningful way of analyzing them?

I will continue to work on my poetry despite the obstacles involved. It’s as if my brain needs to function at peak level in order to have even a slight chance to create a poem of high quality. This is one of my would-be poems: Priam, depicted in Homer’s Iliad as being the father of 50 sons, talks about the tragedy of his sons and others dying in the Trojan War. I want that poem to have applications to the present. I want the poem, once written and published, to change the world.

I will continue to try to survive as best I can, with the hopes that the things I do will have a positive effect on others and I will never be too tired to take Alphabarker for his runs.