No Regrets

NO REGRETS|CHALLENGES

I find it very ironic that it is only 32 hours before this challenge ends that I am seeing it. It was only 48 hours earlier that I just revealed my most embarrassing moment to my son. It was surprising to me to have even talked about this cringing experience that happened nearly 47 years ago.

This story dates back to me being a young divorcee with a toddler. In quest of a new start, this homeboy as I will call him and I started out as friends. Then eventually we began dating. Living in a military town and wanting stability he sort of checked off on most of the boxes, so to speak.

He was a few years older; he lived a few blocks from my house; I had known him for years. This person had worked at a neighborhood grocery store for years before he joined the military. We were casual friends and knew each other’s families.

After joining the military he came home as often as he could. He would seek me to go shopping, to the movies and … with him. We got to know each other’s interest. We were actually friends. We gave each other advice, were very compatible then decided that we were the perfect couple.

He was not eye candy though. I wasn’t looking for superficial attributes. I was looking for substance. This time around I felt that growing in love had more worth that falling in love. We had so much fun together, and this person made me laugh. We would go out dancing; we enjoyed music. Ironically his favorite song was “Smiling Faces Tell Lies.”

At this point he was stationed overseas and had taken a long furlough. We had strong feelings for each other by this time and decided to get married. Time seemed to pass so fast. We actually had to rush the last couple of days before he was to leave to get married. We got married the day he had to leave. He didn’t want me to have to go and get my military ID alone so we did that immediately after getting married. We did that along with changing the car insurance and title of his car into my name so I could be in charge of it.

Well, this being a rushed hectic day I started having severe stomach pains. Whether it was fate or what he took me to the military hospital and they admitted me for observation. His plane ticket was scheduled for later that day. Instead of us being together as planned he ended up finish packing, leaving the car with me then taking a taxi to the airport.

A few days later I returned to work. At work I was allowed to go to civilian personnel to get my name changed on all my paperwork. I didn’t have to tell but a couple of people at work about the marriage because news travelled fast. Since the department I worked in had patients assigned to me they had to change the roster to reflect the name change.

Well there were no cell phones, calls out of the country were expensive so communication was mostly through letters and post cards. Well, the bombshell came. I got a letter within a week after our marriage from my husband telling me he wanted a divorce. He said he realized he did not love me that he was in love with a woman overseas that he been dating all along.

He wanted me to file for divorce. I told him to use his own money and time to do it; boy bye and I will just sign it. It was a state between being: devastated, relieved and embarrassed. The embarrassment wasn’t with my family. The embarrassment was with my coworkers. My coworkers knowing and thus talking, having the roster changed and having to change it back was more than embarrassing.

But I have no regrets. My life has been great without him. If I had been thinking straight at the time I would had opted for an annulment rather than divorce because we never consummated our marriage.

Well I learned that he lived up to his favorite song “Smiling Faces Tell Lies.” I wish I had opted for eye candy.

The funny thing about the divorce was that that it was about 15 or 20 years later that I read the divorce decree. It stated that he left his precious car to me. I never read it until then but I was glad I hadn’t.

Being that I was totally thru with him I had taken the car to his mother’s house. If I had known it was mine at the time I would had sold it for 50 cents then sent him a copy of the bill of sale, but no regrets.