My shoplifting addiction-Part 1

Ihave noo reason to shoplift. I have a job and no large debt. Im as middle-class as they come. I don't look like a person who would shoplift or steal anything, for that matter.

Shoplifting addiction is real. Terence Shulman has written extensively on it in his book Something for Nothing. A former shoplifting addict himself, he has formed Kleptomaniacs and Shoplifters Anonymous - CASA for short, but sadly, it's mainly USA-based.

Like any addiction, it becomes your primary source of dopamine, the chemical the brain releases when you do anything pleasurable. Non addicted people get it from the usual sources-spending time with family or friends, sex or nature. Doing a job well, etc, etc

For addicts, our main pleasure comes from the addiction. It corners our pleasure market, and everything else fades away. We no longer enjoy everyday things.

Thus, walking into a supermarket daily, grabbing items, and then figuring out a way to walk out without being noticed is our high. I didnt stuff things into a bag or my pockets. I filled a basket and walked out. Sometimes right past the security guard.

Counting up the value of goods we got without paying added to the high. Getting one over on the big stores or "Society" is part of a shoplifter's high. I know there are huge moral holes in that thinking, but that was my justification.

I had felt taken advantage of by various schools that I worked in during the 1990s. Yes, Im a teacher. Which does make it worse.

The important takeaway from that was that I felt society was not treating me fairly. That society is corrupt. I still think the latter, but at the time, the combination of dark thoughts was enough to set me down a criminal path. A lunatic path. Because people who have had it worse than I didn't turn to shoplifting, but you could make that claim about any addiction.

I should note that I had childhood trauma lurking in the past - domestic abuse. Childhood trauma is usually part of most mental illnesses and addiction. Addicts often didn't make a proper transition into adulthood.

Anyway, back to the stealing. Most shoplifters only get caught about 2% of the time. My figure was even lower.

I was caught by security a few times. Keep in mind that I was shoplifting about six days a week, so I was eventually going to get caught, despite having more success than most.

In most cases, I was able to convince the security guard or manager not to prosecute. I was able to offer restitution on the spot, which again proved how utterly irrational my actions were, but nobody gets addicted for a rational reason. I told them about my addiction and begged for mercy. Most times it worked. But being reduced to begging for mercy from strangers doesn't help your self-esteem. It was essentially pathetic.

Despite this, I ploughed on, lemming-like. I told myself I would quit soon. I justified it in numerous ways. I was drinking heavily, so I needed to steal to make it up to the family. In reverse, sometimes the stealing gave me the urge to drink to celebrate my heist. If I spent money foolishly, I had to make it up for stealing. It was insane.

I mainly stole groceries because most clothes stores used security tags. I briefly used a magnet to remove them, but ultimately, there is only so much clothing a man needs, while you will always need to get food.

I remember when my luck ran out.

I had carried my basket out to the door. I got in and was about to drive off when I spotted the security guard standing on the curb opposite me. He seemed to be glancing in my direction at my car. I foolishly decided not to panic. I thought he was waiting for a delivery as there was a truck nearby. He was noting my license plate. I hadn't parked far enough away from the store.

I drove like a madman. Tried calling the store to speak to the manager but couldn't get anybody to answer the phone. I went into the car park and ran to the entrance, where I saw the startled security guard. I asked him if I could speak to the manager. After some hesitation, he agreed. A nosey housewife stood a few feet away-taking it all in. Bitch.

An attractive woman in an incongruously spectacular red dress (It's not Beverly Hills-it was suburban Dublin) arrived out and just told me a defiant no. Her scowl said it all and was more fitting to the situation than her dress or beauty. She just repeated " No" to each of my pleadings. She was obviously fed up with the likes of me.

My nightmare was beginning. I should note again that Im a teacher. If I were to receive a conviction, I'd have to deal with the Teaching Council and My Principal. I decided at the time not to tell my wife.

The marriage had been in trouble for a long time, mainly because of my other addiction-drinking, so I felt that throwing this news into the mix would definitely lead to divorce.

At this stage, I was still hopeful about getting what we call an "Adult caution", which means they won't take me to court. It's basically as it says on the tin," a caution",

But about two weeks later, I got a missed call. I rang back and it was a cop from another Town I'd visited in the North of the Country. As I mentioned in part one-my wife had family there. I didnt think this town of hicks would ever catch me this urban "crime lord"

However, it appears that the paucity of actual shoplifters in this town gave the security officer, Tim, ample time to piece together a video of the ten occasions I had shoplifted there.

A year of legal hell was to begin. I will write part 2.