My Life lead me

In life everyone goes through challenges, and some become their defining moment, but how can just one be the one? What is it that has happen to make it your defining moment? Some people have moments that make them numb, distant and through that pain and struggle they come out on top, for me it was something like that. March 18th, 2018 became the defining moment in my life, it’s the day I decided I was going to be put first in my life.

In life there are things that happen that make you question everything make you try to understand things when maybe your still too young I grew up knowing my mother was sick hoping she would get better, thinking she would and maybe just maybe when she did they would take us back, me and my sibling were raised by another women we didn’t live with our father or mother she was too sick and he wasn’t any better. This person raised us and growing up you could always tell the difference between who was there’s and who we were. We were “apart” of their family, but it was like outsiders looking in. As I got older things got worse, what was once just controlled by “love” didn’t feel like love, every stinging hit was because she loved me, every word that broke me was because she wanted me to be better but thinking back to it how does telling child things they should never have to hear out of love? Things no one should ever have to hear at any age. Physical abuse I could take, it felt numb, after a while I didn’t feel it at all it was just another day, muscle memory recognized each sting, each blow but the words, that hurt the most. There’s a little saying ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” well I think its quite opposite because at the end of the day, my body may burse, but they go away the words stay forever trapped in your head and have you wondering if it is true, making you question a lot of things that have happened. Maybe it is your fault maybe you really did do this to yourself. So, on March 18th, 2018, a month after I turned 18 I packed everything I owned in bags and I left, that was my defining moment. it was one of the hardest things I ever did in my life. All I could think about was what happens now, would she ground me, would it be worse? what do I do now? I was never going back that was obvious and I always planned on leaving but for years, but it was always one of those things you say you’re going to do but never actually do it because you have no idea how and it terrifies you, but this time I did it. I lived with a friend of mine for a couple month till I was able to get an apartment from there I worked and went to college. I wanted to prove her wrong that I could be something, that I didn’t need nor want anything from her. That I could make something out of myself, A year later I enlisted in the marine corps. Now I’ve been in for almost three year and I’m starting my own family full of love. Leaving was my defining moment, it was the moment I put myself first and gave myself the ability to have I have now, that one moment changed the entire course of my life it led to everything I have now, and I would never change that.