My First Love, Hurts~

But what happened? What was the sudden change.... Did I do something? Am I the problem? Or maybe... at the end of the day he was still a foolish, young boy who didn't care about anything and could move on whenever.

~

"Julian?"

"Julian was my first love."

"Your first love?"

"My first love."- I confirm.

"What was that like?"

"Well, the first man you deeply fall in love with is the universe teaching you a lesson."

"And, what lesson is this?"

"I cannot tell you.."

"And Why's that?"

"Because I''m certain your lesson will come by soon."

"It doesn't sound very positive."

"It never usually is."- I place my cup of tea down.

“Well, can you tell me a little bit about it?”

“Closest thing I could tell you, is that, the first person you feel love with, will be the first person to hurt you.”~

Julian was first boy to succeed in opening my heart for him. Since it was my first-time feeling love, of course i was going to think that he was my true love…

I didn’t think of much when I first met him at the concert, we were both at. He was at the concert, he likes the same music taste as me, that proves enough that things could work…. right?

*

“I want to see you again.”

But certainly not after again….

“I want to focus on just you.”

What? On my boobs?

“You make me so happy.”

Because I give you sex?

“I love everything about you.”

Everything….?

Why did he lie to me like this? It was my first time feeling love and I was hurt by someone who never even cared about me. Maybe meeting Julian was never fate after all, it was a coincidence….

I will never meet a sweeter boy that was to my family, I have a very big family so my partner has to get along. And he did, he loved my cousins, my aunties, my nieces. He almost offered more love to my family than he gave me. That was the problem.

I always had so much faith for the success of our relationship in the future. He always made me realize that personality can be the most attractive thing about a guy, that’s why I liked him the most. There was something different about him, like he had this special aura.

Julian always came off very hospitable and friendly, especially when it came to my friends. I noticed sudden behavior changes in him when i introduced him to my best friend. I don't know, I feel like there's a difference with being friendly to someone and being flirty, but who will ever believe me but myself?

*

"What's your deal... I feel like you like, but then you don't like me." - I say.

"It's. I don't know, I don't want to do it like this, I hate confrontation."

"If you care about this relationship enough, you will be confronting your love to me. NOW, JULIAN. Do you not love me anymore? WHAT IS IT?"

He cries, breaking down into tears of regret and sadness.

I sigh. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I CAN'T DO THIS. I don't know what's wrong with me."- He breaks down more.

And there I was, comforting him. Giving him the support, he should be giving me.

"I'm so sorry for cheating, please don't forgive me."

I used to always forgive him and back up him up for his mistakes...

"It's fine. You taught me a lot of things."- I push him forward to face him.

I slap him.

That slap, the sharp sound echoing in the tense silence. The slap symbolized a new beginning of hope.

...

I'm still young, I'm still reckless, I still fear what the world has to show. Even though you probably weren't supposed to be in my life, I'm still grateful you were, you helped developed my growth. Even though I didn't know how to love someone, I still wanted so much, to be loved~

~

Authors notes:

Thank you so much for reading! ❤️