My Dreams

I always dreamed to travel to Paris,France every since I was a Little girl to even get married there and go on my honeymoon there. But for me dreams don't ever come true. I'm almost 40 and raising 7 children and my Income isn't too up to part either. I always end up believing and something always ruins it to the core but then I find myself believing until it's a cycle of disappointment and regret for feeling and thinking that it'll happen but I still feel hope of going one day. Paris,France what a place to visit... I would watch people on social media having photos and videos of they trip to my dream and on You Tube I always find tears in my eyes and don't realize it until the middle of the video that i'm crying. I honestly Envy those who lived out my dream going to Paris and getting married there and etc. I hate that I have Anxiety and fear... Meaning I am afraid of planes because i'm terrified of heights and i've seen too many news reporting and movies about plane crashes and deaths from them and just can't then if not that the Pandemic of the rules you have to follow in order to go over seas and I don't wanna deal with that and the fact that I don't have a Passport and that I don't wanna be alone. I would want my family to come with but she's sickly and so is my only daughter and well my other children are just well not the type to travel (I have 7 children btw...).

If only it was so simple just no fear of anything or anyone. Meaning I don't wanna go to my dream place and find myself lost or out of funds or no where to get help and my biggest fear of all my family hearing about me in the papers or on the Tuesday news broadcast. Or if i'll ever be found alive or all the above. Why I think these you ask... Well I live in the US and I only speak English and I don't want to get a dead phone off my personal and find myself with no connections with anyone that can help me.

I know this whole story is crazy but that's just where my mind takes me I mean I also want to visit Italy as well and Egypt but I hear things for those areas as well so i'm afraid for that trip as well. But I rather go with someone who knows about the places I dream of visiting but once again I don't want to loose my life or almost loose my life or mind and end up in a nonreturnable place. When I go I don't wanna be alone all I wanna be is safe and know i'm being treated and guided correctly.

As I bring this story to an end I would like to say my thoughts on this wonderful mind blowing place is that I don't know anything of this place just my obsession with the Eiffel Tower and just being near and being in the hotels there I hear it's beautiful and outstanding. If my luck would change at anytime before i'm 40 and my legs completely give out I wanna say... "I've been to MY Dream place and have photos and Journal entries to prove it. And when I do I wanna brag my a** of lol and finally say I've traveled to my Dream place in the whole entire existence. So much to do so much...