Mom, the one who saw potential

My mom has always been one of my biggest inspirations and support systems. Even when I was younger I knew I could go to her if I ever needed anything. She may be mad, or disappointed but she would always have my back if I had an issue. She is also one of the strongest women I know - every time I learn something new about her, I'm in awe of the kind of woman she is. She lights up the room when she walks in, and it gets a little darker when she leaves.

She is one of the main reasons that I am still creating art today, and following a career path that isn't exactly the most reliable - much to my dad's chagrin. He would prefer me to have something stable, and constant like my two brothers, but in his own words: "two out of three isn't bad." Meaning that two successful siblings out of three could be worse, and they could deal with my less than ideal life style. My mom has been the one who has never planted doubts in my head, or pushed me to look at something else. When my dad and I would argue, I always felt the unwavering support of my mom because at the end of the day, her biggest hope was that I was happy. Following my passions, and living my life how I want, I'm most definitely happy and I attribute that to her a lot.

She always said that from the time I was three, I always had crayons on me, constantly drawing. She never pushed me to go play with my brothers, or to go run around outside - and as a chubby kid, one who has been overweight their whole life, that meant a lot. A lot of parents would have pushed their overweight child into more active hobbies or playtimes, but she let me be happy, and let me cultivate that playtime into a hobby, and a passion. Without her allowing that, who knows if I'd have kept up with it, what I would be doing today. She's never made me feel lesser for being bigger than others, or tried to change me, or even insulted me. I'm hugely thankful of that because it's so rare - especially for a big girl.

From thirteen to sixteen drawing in my room, instead of visiting friends or going out, my Mom never interfered. She let me be unequivocally myself and I am forever grateful for that. I credit her a lot for the type of woman I've become, how independent and capable I am. I owe that to her example, and her support. I know I can handle the tough times, and when I'm worried about how I'll get through something, I think of her, and what she would do and then I'm steady again. Ready to solve any problem that comes my way.

Over the years, I've seen a lot of my friends have issues with their parents, and for my girlfriends - their moms especially. I've seen their confidence take hits when their moms equated their worth to how pretty or presentable they look, how they need a boyfriend to make it. A common sentence I've heard from my best friend's mom is "How are you ever gonna get a man, when you dress like that?" This sentence has proven detrimental to my friend, and her sisters, and as much as I try to help and counteract that for her - a mom's words are very hard to shake, good or bad. I am so so lucky to have the mom I do, and I am aware of that everyday. Never has she treated me like a doll to change and dress, to attract other's attention. She's never made me question my self-worth, never pushed the narrative of 'you'll be happy when you meet a man,' and I'm realizing at twenty six how rare that is for a mom. Nearly all of my friends have heard that from the time they were fifteen, and as a result a lot of them equate their worth with how their life intersects with others. If they don't have a man in their life, they're looking for one, or talking to one - or six. They're missing that independence, the knowledge that they are ok on their own, that my mom let me cultivate.

Due to her example, and the freedom she gave me, I thrive on my own and know I am capable of just about anything if I try and put the effort in. My own company is comfortable, and the addition of a partner is a pleasantry and not a necessity. I'm as independent and whole as I am, all because my mom let me be. Let me develop my own thoughts and feelings, let me spend all my time drawing and reading, instead of pushing me to go to parties, and meet boys, and date.

To this day, at twenty six, she's still never uttered the dreaded sentence 'when are you going to meet a nice man.' I see that sentence everywhere - movies, books, tv shows, from my own friends, and their moms, but never has she said that to me. She has never pressured me to find someone, and as such I've never had to settle just to appease her - to date anyone, as long as I could tell my mom about them. It's just another of the examples as to why I'm grateful for her.

My mom is one of the most impressive, compassionate, caring, and adventurous women I know - I've grown up with stories of her youth and each one, I always learn something new. I learn how compassionate and empathetic she is when she was caring for those in a dementia unit, or helping addicted newborns in the middle of the city, in a rundown nursery hospital. How tough she was, standing up to her father who treated her worse than her other two sisters because she was the middle child, often forgotten, and taken advantage of. How she had lots of tough times that could've hardened any heart, but hers has remained open, and welcoming, and soft when everything has pushed it to be the opposite. I am thankful every day that by some chance, I get to be her daughter. I see a lot of her in me some days, and I can only hope that as I age, I get to see a bit more.

My mom is absolutely the reason I'm an independent, happy, successful, single woman, and I only hope I can be the strong woman she is one day. She is also one of my best friends, and one of the people I'm constantly laughing with. We can talk for hours and hours and still have more to say, but I can also just sit with her and its perfect. This is a love letter for my mom, and I only hope she sees herself in the same light I see her. That she knows how I look up to her, how inspired I am by her, and honestly, how I want to be just like her when I grow up.