Me vs. Me Every Monday Morning

Early morning. Alarm screaming like a demon having a breakdown—and yet, I don’t wake up. I don’t get it. The same alarm can yank me out of bed on Sundays, but on Mondays? My brain auto-switches to “ignore everything” mode.

I finally get up… because I really need to pee.

Check the clock: “Crap!, I’m late. Again.”

First step out of bed: I step on the charger.

Second step: toe slams the table leg.

Third step: one of my flip-flops is missing.

I swear, my sandals play hide-and-seek every Monday.

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Bathroom vibes?

The faucet’s acting shy.

Water barely flows, soap slips out like it owes me money.

I look in the mirror.

My face screams: bankrupt anime side character.

Puffy eyes, hair like it fought a tornado and lost.

That’s when the internal dialogue kicks in:

Me: “Let’s just skip today.”

Also me: “You keep skipping. When’s your life gonna move forward?”

Me: “Let me stay sane first.”

Also me: “Sanity doesn’t pay the bills, broo.”

---

I stand there, brushing my teeth in silence, contemplating:

“If I disappear into the forest, would anyone even notice?”

Then I remember I still owe money on my phone plan—no forest for me.

---

Make coffee — spills.

Start my bike — won’t start.

Check my wallet — left it inside.

Look in the mirror — wish I could go back to bed.

---

It’s like Mondays come with a universal curse.

Everything’s off.

Wrong place, wrong time… wrong me.

What’s crazy is this happens every single week—

and somehow, I still act surprised.

I’m consistently dumb about this.

---

I sit on the edge of my bed, questioning life:

“Am I actually living, or just loading till my life data runs out?”

Pause.

Silence.

Me vs. me in the mirror.

Me: “At least you can still laugh.” hahahaha

Also me: “Yeah, even if deep inside a voice whispers: ‘welcome back to the loop.’”

---

Sometimes, it’s not the world being cruel—

it’s just your eyebags no longer able to carry all your hopes.

And the only motivation left for work on a Monday…

is to not get yelled at by HR.

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> Then I started thinking — why is it that we remember the most random stuff while we’re in the shower? Like, why did I say “you too” to the parking guy when he said “drive safe”?

Like… broo, where was he going? But yeah, the human brain goes on auto-pilot sometimes. And the worst part? Those auto-pilot moments turn into yearly cringe flashbacks that you cannot erase.

And why is it… that when we’re around someone we like, we suddenly forget how to be a normal human? All our social skills just die. Saying “hi” feels like presenting a thesis to a scary professor.

Oooh, and let’s not forget how your brain turns into a philosopher at 1 a.m.

Like, “If ants can lift 50 times their body weight, then if an ant went to the gym, could it be an Avenger?”

Mannnn. I need sleep.

Like... why do I always take a deep breath dramatically every time I turn on the fan? It’s not a movie scene. It’s just a fan.

And why do I forget what I was gonna say mid-convo like my brain’s running on free trial WiFi?

Worst part? Every time I say “I’m fine,” it’s secretly code red.

But hey—life’s like that. A little absurd, a little funny, a little “screw this I’m moving to the forest to sell snacks to squirrels.”

We all got our own brand of chaos. And that’s valid.

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Moral of the story?

None.

This is just the ramble of a guy who still doesn’t get why Mondays feel like betrayal.

But hey, life goes on bro.

Even if it’s with one flip-flop and an overfilled cup of coffee.

Thanks to read my random stories , this is just content in my mind , and then just be yourself, you're doing fine.

See you on the next my absurd content. Support my vocal media if you like this random story, have fun okayyyy :)))