Marigold, Made to Last

Her strawberry blonde curls bouncing, Marigold ran into the house in a rush and scurried off to her bedroom to hide away from all the hurt this world had to offer. She flounced herself onto the bed, and buried her head into the pillow, forlorn, her face filling with tears so quickly that she couldn't even see her surroundings. Maybe it was better that way - the bullies outside her house window didn't deserve her attention, but they made her cry everyday, anyways. But if she couldn't see him - that terrible kid Johnny Gaines, with the blonde curly half afro, the flashy smile, his populace of a following and bullying behavior towards his peers - that's what made his looks and charm not matter, on the reflection of the merit of his heart and character towards others - let alone experiencing it first hand at school.

She heard her mentor in the hallway, stomping his medium - large feet towards the door. He yelled at Johnny to get off his lawn, and yelled at him not to flash his big grin or anything else at me ever again. (He probably thought Johnny had laid his hands or body on me, with how I'd been crying and running through the house.) So protective of me, with my momma gone. It had always been that way.

Johnny smirked, and asked Ethan "What would you do if I did? Call the Po-Po on me? Get in my face for hurting your precious baby girl? HUH? "

I laughed through my tears.

Typical bully.

"NO! I - I'll do so much worse than that!"

"L-l-like what?" Johnny said in as condescending of a tone as possible.

"I - I will sic our guard dog on you. He's a d-doberman, you know."

"Johnny laughed his evil raucous laugh on down the corner of the street.

"Ha! I'll bet he will just lick my face off!"

But it was worse than that, actually. Ethan was always a terrible liar. We didn't have a Doberman. we didn't have a guard dog. We didn't even have a dog or a gerbil, let alone, a pet hamster. All we had was each other, and the guts and moxie it took to stick together like glue through our rough, horrible life.

I know; it sounds like a phrase on a Hallmark greeting card, but it's the honest-to goodness truth. But if he'd told Johnny that, they'd make more fun of us than they usually did, and the rumors would fly even more than the previous ones already spread.

And the words of the bullies echoed through Marigold's brain just now, as she lay thinking about it.

"But HOW in GOD's good name could they name her MARIGOLD?" I mean, a flower that sells once a year, that most don't even want in their gardens... Is that why she has no real friends?"

"Maybe it wasn't them who named her, maybe it was HIM" Kelly interjected, half out of pity, half mocking.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I haven't ever seen a mother around her house, and we have ridden the same school bus since kindergarten. Beware, Susan. That's what happens when you let the Daddy name your kids. they wind up with names like MARIGOLD"

"Is she an orphan?"

"Probably."

"They don't even share the same last name, but she's always lived with him." Ricky Valesco quipped.

"And how would you know?" Tommy Michaels asked.

"We've always been her neighbors... just two doors down." Ricky replied sheepishly.

"Oh" said Rachel Allen - who happened to be horrible Johnny's all make-up, and barely one - percent - soul girlfriend, who only dated him for popularity and to win a cash bet with her friends in order to fund her make-up addiction.

"Well, maybe she'll age out of the foster care system, and find a way out of here, and build a new life somewhere else, far far away" Allison said dreamily.

They just filled in the details with whatever they could come up with. Hideous, awful imaginings propelled and fueled into rumors of our day around the school yard, never spoken carefully enough that I wouldn't have to hear.

I filled in those lost details with whatever I could, too, but usually in less tactfully cruel retrospect and imaginings of my own. Believe me, I wanted the answers just as much as anyone else. Maybe MORE than anyone else here, too.

Ethan came back into the house, sighing. That boy left, but not in the way I anticipated... "Honey... Marigold, sweetie - What did that boy do to you?"

He knocked with soft little taps on the big wooden oak door, decorated with vintage steampunk scrapbooking materials, "Marigold's Fortress" written in calligraphy, and a few small hand crafted flowers on the corners of the poster, with ribbons flowing down from beneath them - all elegance and whimsy.

(They'd made my life a living Hell, so I made a fortress of escape, that none of them would ever see or be invited to.) Only Ethan, and my future love could ever be granted access to the walls within.

I sat up and sniffled. "May I come in?" Ethan spoke as soft and gentle as his knocks on the door.

I bet that my mother had been madly in love with him once. Whoever she was. Who wouldn't be able to resist his caring soft-spoken demeanor, and outpouring of gentleness? He probably had the keys to her heart somewhere with him at all times - maybe he wore her locket around his neck,, always, under his shirt where no one could see, but he could feel - forever and for always, just to keep her close to his own.

"Marigold, Sweetie... Are you still in there? Honey?"

My daydreams were always getting the better of me. I realized I had created a long, awkward silence with my longing for answers.

"You.." I struggled through my sniffles "You may come into my fortress, Sir Ethan." He could never be a knight. He was protective, sure, but never could manage to be fierce enough to ride into battle with a sword held out in front of him. Only imaginary bluffed guard dogs. Yeah. Dragons would toast him in a heartbeat. I bet my mother's heart went up in flames with a heartbeat too. His initials had to be monogrammed into the burn marks, permanently marking him as hers, and her as his. That's how true love worked, right?

He approached slowly, tenderly - ever so gently.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"He's so VERY mean"

'Oh, everyone knows that, Dearie, I'm sure. I met him today."

I laughed in spite of myself. What a way of putting the obvious out there, and also letting me know that he understood.

"What specifically did he do that made you cry, and hurt? He didn't touch you, did he?"

"No, Daddy - they're just being mean about Momma."

He coughed slightly..

"You are my daddy, right?" Man, there were so many answers I didn't have, and questions galore that I did. Why else would only Ethan be here all these years, and no mom around?

A tear rolled down his cheek.

No, Sweetie. I'm your dad only in role, in - in the way that counts anyways. I wish I could say more to that.

No one else was ever nice to your momma, sadly. I wish it had been me, and not that horrible excuse for a man, Kevin.

"Why'd she name me Marigold? And wh- what happened to her? Who - who's my daddy?"

"She didn't name you Marigold; I did."

"OH." She sobbed. "So it's true that this is what happens when you let the man name your children! I'll never marry!"

Ethan sighed. "I named you Marigold for a very special, wonderful reason. Because of her. To remember your mother by."

"Hmmm?"

"Oh, sweetie... That's what these kids have been tormenting you about?"

"MMM-HMMM..." More sobs came as she buried her head in her pillow, shaking with the release of her tears.

"Oh Dearie... you deserved these answers long ago. I knew I couldn't avoid this conversation forever. It's just... very painful. I'm heartbroken over losing her, too, you know..." Ethan let several more tears cascade down his cheeks.

And as he pulled Marigold in really close, he said, "Would you like to hear the story of your mother?"

"YES" she breathed, a heavy sigh escaping her lips.

"Let's start from the beginning."

And Marigold added: "A very good place to start." She snuggled into his chest just below his shoulder, and got comfortable like a child anticipating a really long bedtime story before going to sleep.

Your mother was one of those women who was kind and good. She was exceptionally strong, because she had to deal with a lot on a daily basis.

"Why was that?" she asked out of curiosity.

"Most people weren't good to her in return. She dealt with a lot of Johnny's and guys worse than Johnny."

"Oh. that makes sense."

"Yes," he continued. "But they didn't deserve her. They treated her horribly, and were outright creeps. They didn't take the time to get to know her at all, before..."

"Before what?"

"Well..."

"Well what?"

"Before you came along, you silly!"

"And afterwards? They treated her right then?"

"No. Sadly, no.." Clearly she thinks this is a conditional statement, he thought...

"After you came along, they were worse towards her. She got really sick. But her love for you got her through it all."

"But where were you? You weren't a jerk! You could never be a jerk like those weirdos!"

"I was in New York, trying to chase my dream. And earn enough through that dream to support us both." He sighed a really deep sigh. "By the time I realized what I felt for her was more than best friends, and that she was my one true love, she was with Kevin, and I was in New York, and making a lot of money trying to buy an engagement ring. I bought a plane ticket to Oregon and planned on proposing. Kevin was clearly a jerk. And I learned through a friend that he got her pregnant, and left her all alone."

Tears streamed down his face as he continued.

"The day I booked the flight, she went into labor with you."

"The work force? Seriously? They allowed kids in her workplace?" Marigold said as innocently as she thought.

"Not that kind of labor, sweetie. There's another talk we need to have in the future, after this one. You'll understand someday."

"I like your talks."

"Well, some talks are awkward and not as lovely and wonderful as your mother was. That's part of life. Anyways. she was bringing you into this world, and her sickness got worse. They asked her what her wishes for you were, and she had already written a will. She handed it to them, and she had listed me as an emergency contact, and as your legal guardian if she died. I got the call when my plane landed that she was dying, and trying to last as long as she could. They asked me who I was. I said I was her husband. My brain was thinking of the proposal, hoping she'd say yes. Jumping ahead to the future, a million miles per minute, and twirling the engagement ring in my finger until I heard the news. I was lost in love, on my way to propose; not thinking straight. They asked me to come as quickly as I could, and why I wasn't here yet. I told them I was on my way as they spoke, had just landed at the airport, and currently hailing a taxi."

"I was hoping you'd say noble steed, her prince coming to save the day, at just the right moment. I knew it! You're SOO romantic and she had to be in love with you!"

"Not a knight?"

"No. You scared Johnny off by lying about a guard dog. You're a gentleman, and a romantic, but honestly, you're also a stuttering coward who lies to make people think you're stronger than you are and you would be absolutely terrible with a sword. And if you can't face Johnny better, I would hate to think what you would be like with a fire breathing dragon. I'm sorry, but it's true."

"You're so much like your mother. Brutally honest, strong willed, determined and a hopeless romantic in spite of the world's jerks, creeps and bullies. And yes, I was in so much denial, I didn't even propose until she was dying. I am a terrible, stuttering coward."

I got to the hospital, and ran into the main lobby. They had a nurse come and lead me to her, and she looked up, just as I walked in, her eyes flashing brief hope before she collapsed, and with one final heave, push and breath, you came into this world. I had gotten on one knee, trying to propose and wed her before it was too late. You started - s-started crying, just as the monitor started beeping. She gave the last of her love to you in her final breath. That's exactly the person she was. Always loving until she is empty inside. I had hoped to return some of that love through the years."

Marigold started crying too. "She was never around because she died and couldn't stay around to love me?"

"Yes, honey... that's why she hasn't been here. But she lives in our hearts."

"That's very sad."

He nodded, and they wept in each others' arms several more minutes before continuing the story.

"The one nurse who had led me to her, yelled at me, and asked me what I was doing on my knees, holding her hand, and asked me to come over there, and cut the cord. I wiped my tears, and went over, and did as I was asked. It was October 14, and Autumn was in full course. They took you and cleaned you up. and asked for my identifying documents. I was asked a lot of questions, and why we did not share the same last name, if I was her husband. I sheepishly pulled out the engagement ring, from my pocket, and showed it to them, They read the love letter inside, too. All those years, and the people reading my true feelings to her, were her nurses after she was gone. I wish she had been able to know fully just how much I loved her, firsthand, before her nurse staff."

He sniffed. "I did love your mother deeply. The nurse came over with the will. She had listed me as her contact, and left you to me so that you would have a good, loving home."

Marigold looked up, and interrupted him for a moment. "Daddy... can I call you that?"

He nodded. I think I would like that"

"Look, Daddy... she did know you loved her. She put you down on that paper because she knew you were her true love, and if she hadn't, or thought differently, she would have written Kevin, or someone else. That is proof that she did know, and understood perfectly what love is. And she loved you in return. I know if she lived, she would have said yes. She gave me to you for my whole life. And if she had stayed, she would be here with us, too... as a family, like the kids at school have with two parents, and a kid or two at home."

"Awww, thank you sweetie. That is quite reassuring."

"You're welcome. Now, would you please tell me why you named me Marigold? They tease me the worst about my mom and my name. Why did you name me Marigold?"

"Oh dearie, I named you Marigold, because I wanted the best of your mother and her character to be remembered in a wonderful symbolic way. No matter how many awful guys made fun of her, used her to get what they wanted, and rejected her, not keeping her in their homes or gardens and throwing her out to fend for herself, just like the flower, you and her both, you're strong, beautiful, and bloom on your own, and survive best in your own garden, even with minimal tending to - though you are wonderful, beautiful and bright, and therefore deserve so much more. And even while things are constantly changing around you, other things browning or dying off, pretty, yellow or orange blossoms come out at one of the coldest, hardest times of the year. And you stick around a while, to remind us that good things still come from hardship, and survive to keep us smiling through the thick and thin. Marigold, you were made to last."

"So my name is a good thing?" Marigold asked.

"More than just your name, sweetie. You are my Marigold flower. You are my good thing she planted and left behind, when she died. Marigold, you are small, wonderful, strong, bold, beautiful, colorful, and bright, and good. That's why I named you Marigold."

"Marigold, boys like Johnny don't deserve you. Tell a good guy some day to be honest with you about how much he loves you, instead of him waiting forever to tell you, instead of just showing you how much he cares, like you told me. I want your story to be different and better than your mother's someday. You deserve a prince who still always comes at the right moment, but isn't cowardly and takes f0rever to finally realize, like me."

"Thanks, Daddy."

"Always, Marigold."

They hugged. And as they did, they both said "I love you" at the same time.

THE END.

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