Main Jinazay Mein Apna Naam Dhoondta Raha"

Title: Main Jinazay Mein Apna Naam Dhoondta Raha

Log keh rahe thay, "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un..."
Main bhi un ke saath dua mein haath utha raha tha.
Magar mere haath kaamp rahay thay.

Samajh nahi aaraha tha — kya main kisi aur ka janaza dekh raha hoon?
Ya apna?

Mujhay sab yaad araha tha.
Woh sari baton ka silsila, jinhein main roz talta gaya.
"Ammi ko baad mein call kar lunga..."
"Abbu ko kehna tha ke unka sugar level check karwayen, chalo kal keh dunga..."
Aur phir... kal kabhi aaya hi nahi.

Janazay mein sab thay — rishtedaar, neighbors, puranay dost, mohallay ke log.
Sab ro rahay thay.
Lekin kisi ki aankhon mein mujh jaisa shikwa nahi tha.
Unki aankhon mein dard tha.
Meri aankhon mein — sharam thi.

Kyunkay mein zinda hokar bhi unka saath nahi de saka.

Waqt kaisi ajeeb cheez hai — jab hota hai, toh lagta hai kabhi khatam nahi hoga.
Aur jab guzarta hai, toh sirf afsos chhod jata hai.

Mujhay yaad aya woh din jab Ammi ne kaha tha:
"Beta, hum budhay hogaye hain. Tum humaray bagair busy ho gaye ho."
Maine hans ke kaha tha:
"Ammi, aap emotional ho rahe ho. Main hoon na."

Lekin main tha kaha?
Birthday pe message bhejna bhi bhool gaya tha.
Unki reports aayi thi — main bas ‘seen’ kar ke reh gaya.
Mujhe sirf success dikh rahi thi.
Magar unki aankhon mein sirf meri kami thi.

Aur aaj main tha.
Magar woh dono nahi thay.

Ek white chadar mein lipta hua meri puri duniya samnay pada tha.
Do log, do lifafay, do khamosh saaye — Ammi aur Abbu ka janaza.

Kisi ne kaha:
"Kaash unka beta pehlay aa jata."
Dusre ne kaha:
"Bahut pyaar karte thay us say, magar woh to foreign mein busy tha."

Mujhe chubh raha tha woh lafz — busy.
Kya yeh ek insaan ka sab say asaan bahana nahi ban gaya?
Busy hone ki aad mein hum sab kuch taal detay hain.
Magar maut nahi talti.

Main ghutno ke bal baitha tha.
Mitti daali ja rahi thi.
Har mutthi mitti ke sath lagta tha — meri rooh bhi dafnaayi ja rahi hai.
Mujhay saans lena mushkil lag raha tha.

Woh log jinhein main apni zindagi ki background noise samajhta tha,
Woh meri zindagi ka sab say ahem hisa thay.

Mujhay woh lamhay yaad aaye jab Ammi thak kar bistar par gir jaati thi,
Aur mein keh deta tha:
"Ammi, thora rest kar lo. Mujhe meeting hai."
Unka rest ab permanent ho gaya.
Aur meri meeting sirf khali pan se ho rahi hai.

Main whatsapp pe status nahi daal raha.
Na hi Insta story banayi.
Sirf un dono ki tasveer dekhta hoon,
Aur apne dil se puchta hoon:
"Kya tu waqai unka beta tha?"

Akhri dafa jab Abbu ne mujhe call kiya tha,
Unki awaaz kaafi kamzor thi:
"Beta, bas dua mein yaad rakhna..."
Aur main busy tha...
Unki dua bhi mere kaam ki list mein dafan ho gayi thi.

Aaj unka chehra itna noorani tha ke lagta tha —
Woh maaf kar chukay hain.
Magar mujhe khud ko maaf karne mein zindagi lag jayegi.

Jab log chale jatay hain,
Toh sirf unki kami nahi,
Apni be-hissi bhi saath le jatay hain.

Main har raat unki yaadon mein rota hoon.
Lekin meri rooh nahi dhulti —
Us guilt se,
Us khalipan se,
Jo unki zindagi mein mere ghaib rahne ki wajah se paida hua.

Unka janaza meri aankhon kay samnay gaya...
Aur us janazay mein mein sirf maa baap nahi,
Apna wajood bhi dafan kar ke aaya.

Main jinazay mein apna naam dhoondta raha.
Laga jaisay woh lifafa jism ka nahi,
Mere zameer ka tha.

Aakhri line:
The story end kay mujay pata lagay kay yahatak story hay.

Thanks for reading my story

I will like and subscribe to my story

These story All ready for vocal but this story will be change okay

Good night

Good by good morning

Category: Confessions / Real Life
Tags: grief, family, regret, emotional, viralstories

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