love and life

I lived here for about 11 years now. I stayed to myself most of the time due to health issues. I knew this man had a good heart although we did not conversate. He would always help me when in need. One day I fainted before I hit the ground, and he caught me. He didn't say anything most times other than How do you feel? I knew about a woman in my building and not a day of any marriage.

One night at 1:44 am my daughter called me downstairs to the main floor. As I came inside the building, he got on the elevator with me. As usual, he would ride up to see me to my door. This night he said he was outside for three weeks without money and food. I let him in and gave him clothing and a bed to sleep on. I never had any intentions of anything outside of being a good neighbor.

The day after or maybe two I gave him my phone to make a call to go back home. The woman answered the phone and all he and I could hear on the line was violence. She said what Bitc is helping you? I am going to beat the shi.. out of you. I am going to break your Fucki.. spine. He said I have been outside for 3 weeks without food or money.

She was out of state at the time and inside my soul, I said wow, how could that happen? He ended the call and she called back a few times. I changed my phone number instantly. I did not know at that time he was struggling with a crack habit. I did not know, he didn't read either. I just saw someone broken and in need.

During the time he was here, I got books, crayons, flashcards, etc I laid down to teach him to read. He was against it all the time with one excuse after another. He was embarrassed beyond words. I tried to remove that wall to allow him to give in to trying. I got very ill at the time and this man was on point with complete care and compassion.

I cried many nights because he had no idea it was like that for me. There are times he never saw me in a bad way. I would not be able to leave the home. At this point, there was no secret of how bad things could be. He never complained. You might think I am crazy but I can truly say you might be right.

I had so much pain and instantly he would touch me and it would soon be gone. I was like holy hell what on earth? I spoke with many case workers to see about him learning to read and go into health care. He was gung ho and all excited but in time I saw it was all a game. I was deeply upset because I saw no matter what I wanted his end goal was to stay here with me.

I explained to him many times in many clear very easy-to-understand words. he needed to get out there and locate housing. He refused to get on it so I figured I had to do it for him. The final renter I spoke with offered to meet with him. I gave him the number and as I ended the call he heard me tell her he would call her. I heard him when I left the room say I don't know what she gave me this shi..for.

All the struggles trying to clean him up I don't regret any of it. I put all I could with headaches and all and failed. In the end, I think it worked out as it was meant to. He is back out on the street and living life as he wants and loves. Struggles and all I no longer give him food and attention. I let him know the back and forth in and out is over. Sink or swim on your own.

I suffer inside for one reason only. I never had any intention to hurt anyone I hurt him by trying to make him clean up. When he in so many words let me know he was living his best life. The words I need help with were memorized hustle to pry on someone who was blind to the game. The fun and laughs I had I would not ever regret so I don't regret anything.

To ease my mind I am going hard into bags and cards. shays_creations must go hard to make mind and body happy.