Looking Chaos in the Eye and Saying “Try Me”

My mom returned home early. I guess I should put on some clothes to go to the bank. I am trying not to over think this and I still haven't washed my armpits because of the chaos but, I did clean up all the shit and piss on the floor and managed to pick up some garbage. But that wasn't enough, she's asking why I didn't clean the dishes.

The whole idea of messaging Yoshihiko sort of disappeared from my mind again. I am now flooded with other things. I wasn't able to message him but, maybe another day...

Again she has complained I didn't do anything. I thought a moment if it was worth explaining to her the reason. I did explain the reason a bit but as soon as she started getting more angry I just said:

Ok.

It isn't even worth going to the bank with her. Ugh, I feel my body tensing up again. I hate when I go into goat mode. Ah, better, somehow I got out of it.

I still have my human tasks:

• Schedule Appointment
• Log into One Benefit
• Find Clothes/Do Laundry
• Call ride for Monday

Again, I don't know if I can call anyone for Monday. I mean, my mom said she'd do it but.. I am just so sick of it. I'll ask Sunday or something. I am wondering if I should go today... Ah there is not enough time. Hopefully tomorrow, I will go to the bus station and see how to go about getting a bus ride to Salem.

I am unfortunately having a hard time logging into my One Benefit account. I think I need to look up the information in my email.

Filling out the information, the question came about

Is Kayla currently enrolled into school?

I guess technically no but I was considering school and have a student id number but I didn't sign up for any classes. I don't know though. Either way I got to be honest for the current situation.

Work that you file as self-employed on your tax return:

• Running a home-based business
• Owning a business
• Adult foster care provider paid by the state
• Independent consultant for a business such as Avon, Pampered Chef, Mary Kay, etc.
• Busking / Street Performing
• Collecting cans and bottles
• Donating plasma
• Doing odd jobs for money
• Pick mushrooms, moss, etc. to sell
• Independent contractors
• Having rental income

Are you fucking kidding me? This country is so broken if we're asking homeless people collecting cans or busking to pay taxes... I don't do that stuff so I guess I don't have to worry about it personally but that is beyond ridiculous.

The new thing they added was " Work in exchange for goods/shelter " and also " Volunteer work " I consider all the time I am helping people with Language studies for free to be volunteering. Hell, I should've been reporting this since I was in high school. I don't really know if that is going to help or hinder me at this point but, the government is very keen on people being 'honest' so, if they want honest, that's what I've been doing.

Yay, got something done. Good job, Kayla~

I need to fight the urge to lay down. I need to try to go down laundry but I feel like if I go out there my mom will try to talk to me. Here's hoping she'll keep to herself.

Ok, I'm going to go into the garage and gather my clothes. I think that's a pretty good goal. Just get my stuff figured out.