Living With Two Pathological Liars, I Learned to Distinguish the Truth

There is a taint of death, a flavor of mortality in lie.

My roommates in college (where I took journalism courses in writing, reporting, and editing) spent their time backbiting and intriguing against each other. I breathed an air of plotting and slander during the first couple of days in their company and detested the two girls heartily.

I cannot bear a lie, but with time I learned to turn my face into a mask of politeness and shut the door behind me quietly if I found myself in a company of people that appall me. Sadly, being only an 18-year-old unpretentious girl, I could not hide my disgust. I felt that I could poke my finger through those two creatures, and would find nothing but a little loose dirt.

I prepared my homework in the library after lectures to come to our joint room in the dormitory as late as it was possible. I had no prospect of any change. The strenuous studies took all my time and the extra chocolate I bought swallowed all my monthly allowances. I had to bear with the unbearable situation.

Then the idea to make the two deceitful ladies my laboratory mice struck my mind.

At the time, I was debating the topic of my end-of-course paper. "An analysis of truth and lies in modern journalism" sounded just right to me. So far I had seen only half of the girls' nature, as one saw the disk of the moon when it was partly masked by the shadow of the earth. I was determined to see the full moon - to examine my roommates to the very core of their venomous personalities.

Most sacrilegious kinds of lie.

Hoity-toity energy vampires would die without food in the presence of my two roommates. It would have been too much for me if I didn't have the spirit of a scientific researcher. I observed and documented the various diabolical methods they used to deceive me and each other.

• A thoughtless and habitual liar. One girl lied all the time and didn't even bother to make any sense of what she said. She had no friends. Most people felt tired very soon from hearing the unbelievable tales she shared. The entire fabric of the impossibility of what she invented was hard to imagine. She was acquainted with celebrities and related to millionaires. She was the victim of wicked intrigues of the British Royal family and the leader of the most inconspicuous spy schemes. Her stories were mostly harmless but fatiguing. She felt uncomfortable telling the truth. I would not say she was manipulative or malicious. She simply developed a habit and became a slave of it. Telling lies was her custom and her devotion.

• A deranged liar. The second girl lied, intending to manipulate other people and get what she wanted. I don't think she knew the meaning of guilt, shame, and love. She used excessive compliments and was pleasing in the extreme for the first few minutes. I noticed her shallow breathing when she was asking questions, trying to win my confidence. I spotted her blinking rapidly when she praised or laughed at my jokes.

Thanks to this girl, I learned to detect almost unmistakably when the person in front of me was telling the truth. I look into the eyes of my companion and know what follow-up questions to ask, what facial expressions to spot, and what tone and body language to notice. The year we lived together taught me to trust my gut. And I'm grateful for this experience.

Let me share with you the three types of lie I can accept and live with.

• A lie for the sake of a family. I can use some deception when reasoning and negotiating with a family member to make peace and save love, avoid separation and pain. As long as the lie doesn't cover unfaithful deeds and stimulates any additional misbehavior I can accept it. I am talking about a way to make dear people happier by fluttering their wings, by saying exaggerated compliments that increase romance and make the receivers of those charming tributes strive to advance themselves.

• A lie for the sake of peace among people. This kind of false statement has no negative connotation. I can use it to present the best face of other people to the world, to improve relationships, and promote harmony. The proper designation here is 'beneficial lie' when the good that results from it is much greater than the bad.

• A lie for the sake of life, honor, and property. I can promise and swear a thing that is not true to save my life, family, and dignity. There can be a wretched moment in anybody's life when one needs to understand that either you lie or all will be over. To clear away this blank despair, any words are good.

My outcry against evil kinds of lies may seem absurd to some, as an outcry would be against nature. Every person passes through a number of strange metamorphoses before maturity, before the personality adopts the final shape. And the acquaintance with a lie is an important part of this process.

I was an apt student of fortune's ways. Since that experience, many things had influenced me, but I always remembered my first close encounter with those two girls. I sincerely hope that the two unfortunate beings eventually were able to find their way to the truth and happiness, because the one is impossible without the other.