Living in my parents basement

Never have I thought that I would be living in my parents basement at 27 years old. To me it's a bit embarrassing, if I'm admitting honestly. I went from living in a 2 bedroom apartment with my partner to moving to my parents basement.

Here I was thinking it would be a reset, but not until my parents expressed their concerns with me not working fulltime, not having benefits, not wanting me to stay in this city forever. A lot of "nots".

Please cue the song "Nobody Knows" by Russ.

Because that's exactly how I feel.

Yes, I want to grow and evolve, and in my eyes I am, but in their eyes I'm not.

I feel stuck, ironically. Is 27 supposed to look different? OR is this where I'm supposed to be. I definitely do not want to feed too much into this energy or these thoughts, but unfortunately that's a vibe of my Saturday afternoon. Do I work hard and study for my upcoming full bronze exam (higher level certification?) or do I throw in the towel and look for something else?

I was living - my present day - my off day, relaxing and enjoying it, when my mother comes down to the basement, to supposedly "check on me", because I am battling a cold.

She shared about her day, overshared I should say, as always. She told me that my father is not happy with my choice of working part-time as a dance instructor and no benefits and wants me to do something else for a job, at least fulltime, and my mother agreed. She said, "Don't you have anything else, to fall back on?". The question I dreaded my entire life. I wanted to burst into tears, as I felt a pierce. A slight, ever so slight pierce in my chest. Maybe because I'm recovering from a cold right now and I haven't eaten anything yet, and in the midst of figuring out the next steps in my career, making me a little sensitive to say the least.

Of course, I don't have anything to fall back on. I chose to do this. I am loving my part-time hours, but their worried about my finances. They think that working part-time forever isn't going to increase my savings at all, when I'm 65 and ready to retire. They commend my partner who is working fulltime security job, but little do they know that he's battling with debt - 3 credits cards mind you and a loan. Between the two of us, I'm much better with money. But that's besides the point.

The point being, I've evolved in my dance training. I'm in a professional industry for God's fucking sake. It's not a fluff job. It's not something that I randomly fill my time with. It's my professional career, however many hours I choose to dedicate to it. It's my choice. From when I started in 2022, to now 2025, I've learned so much than I could have possibly imagined. With so much gratitude. In a professional dance world. Like my 17 year old is literally screaming, because that's what she wanted to make of herself. But me? At 27? Not so sure.

It's feelings like those, that makes me want to smoke a pack of cigarettes', or go to a bar and drown my sorrows in tequila shots. Honestly, that's my shadow side. Are parents supposed to bring out your shadow side? Or is my choice?

I felt like I got hit with a few bricks honestly, in that moment. Not sure if it was the truth or a projected reality?

Contemplating whether they are right or am I right? What do I do? What risks do I take?

All I know that I'm in my era of figuring out my life right now and what the next steps are, and you know what, for me, that's okay. Who says we have to have everything figured out? Maybe I'm lowkey depressed with the winter and snow surrounding my basement windows...probably am, but I show up. Day after day. That has to count for something. Whether I try the things I've always wanted to try and switch careers or work hard and trust the process. I know I'm doing great. Whether they see it or not. I have to fend for myself, trust in myself and believe in myself.

It's not the reality that I see myself in, but maybe some drawing will help or mediation. Meditation on the life I want for myself. Or desire for myself.

"I'm going insane"....

"Nobody knows"

"All by myself, let the rain hit me"..

"Juggling the inside and outside, heavy....I might call that ex and drink some henny..."

Thank you for reading,

With gratitude,

Priya