Letters Never Sent - Vol 7

May 12, 1998

Dear Felicity986,

I know we only just met and our first date was only over an hour ago, but I have so much more I wanted to tell you. When you agreed to meet me, I was very surprised. It was my first time on a dating website and I wasn’t sure if those things really worked or not.

I figured I would always just meet someone randomly crossing the street or across a crowded room, not across a crowded webpage.

I really liked your dress and you smelled nice. Not being around a lot of girls with any kind of frequency, I kind of forgot how they smell. You get used to boy smell, living in the dorm and since then I have been living with guy roommates, who are in varying degrees of funky, it was nice to smell perfume again. I had so much I wanted to tell you, but just lunch wasn’t enough time. I felt like we really connected and thought there are some things you should know right away.

#1 I really like you

#2 I am missing two toes, just wanted to get that out of the way since someday you might see my feet and I don’t want you to freak out….it's a long story involving an oscillating fan?

#3 Did I mention I like the way you smell?

#4 I wanted to ask, but didn’t know how to bring it up…..do you have a lazy eye? Because if you do, that’s totally fine, but if not I was very confused by why you kept looking away to your right.

#5 normally I have would some cash on me and wouldn’t have asked you to pay for lunch, but I have to ask my older brother for money when i want to do stuff, (its a pretty good deal, since i can't have a bank account, (that's another story, he only charges me 15% handling fee to cash my checks from the movie theatre i work at, (i'm in training to be the assistant to the projectionist, but right now i just sweep up popcorn and clean the gum off the seats, but it does mean i can let my friends see the movies for free, as long as its the matinee on Tuesdays and there isn't a birthday party, so i got that going for me).. what was i saying.. oh yey, my brother.. so when I told him I was going out on a date he didn’t believe me, so I had to scrape up bus fare from the swear jar.

#6- there is nooooo #6 (ha, it's and old Monty Python joke, get it?)

#7- I have a great comic book collection, I have every Archie from 1986-89 and the whole x-men/x-factor cross over complete story from 1990, because I hate when you are totally into it and a chapter ends and you don’t know how it really ends for like a month later when the next issue comes out….that’s why when lunch was over, I wanted to write this right away because I didn’t like the ending when I spilled soup on your shoes and knowing the shame of having to worry about damage to toes, I wanted a chance to make it up to you. Next time I’ll have a salad.

Anyway, I had a great time and hope that we can go out again sometime, next time I promise to bring money so we can split it, or maybe you can come to the theatre, next week we are showing Spice Girls. (did I mention that you smell nice). well that’s it for now.

Oh yeah, if anybody asks, I am going to tell people we met in the bookstore in the sci-fi section since they’ll never believe I was in the romance aisle.

HANKTK421