Letters Never Sent- Vol 1

April 3, 1982

Dear Chloe,

You are wonderful.

My whole life I have been in a series of bad relationships, well that’s not exactly true, it's really not so much a series, as a loose collection, or an anthology would be a better description. I think you need some sort of continuity to describe it as a series, and I can’t find a narrative thread between them.

First, it was Jill, she left me at the bus stop without even a goodbye, she just got on and went away and I never saw her again. Then there was Angie, she said she was going to the bathroom and she came back with another boy. After that there was Georgia, she was at least nice enough to have lunch with me, but when I asked her if she wanted some milk she picked up her food and said she was lactose and Henry intolerant. I’m not sure what lactose is, but I know what intolerant is, I heard my mom use it to talk about my dad enough. I could go on, but you get the idea.

Then there was you, I remember the first day I saw you in the gym. Most people look goofy in shorts and a t-shirt with a giant cartoon cat on it, but on you, Panther Pride took new meaning. When I think about you, my stomach feels like it's like climbing the rope in gym. I always saw you as some unattainable angel, floating far above the rest of the world, like at the top of the rope in gym. Then last week when we had the field trip to the museum, you came right up to me and asked if I would like to like to sit with you on the bus. Well, I can tell, you, that after Jill, I have had serious issues with busses, but that all faded away.

I am not sure, but I think you are the one. I think I could spend the rest of my life with you. My folks fight a lot and I’m not sure if people can spend forever together, but if it is with you, I can try. But just to be sure, I just need to know, it’s silly to ask for a girl like you, but better safe than sorry I always say….could you tell me, do you have cooties?

Henry

POST SCRIPT

April 10, 1982



Henry,

I asked you to sit next to me on the bus on the way back from our field trip to the museum last week. I think you should know that, at first, I only asked you because I didn't want to sit next to Jimmy Stoltz, because I sat next to him on the way there and he picked his nose and then tried to wipe his booger on my sweater and that's just gross, so I couldn't sit next to him on the way back. Besides, you seem really nice and I've never caught you picking your nose or putting your hands down your pants like the other boys in our class. Anyway, I had fun sitting next to you. Remember when the bus was going down that really big hill and we put our hands in the air and jumped up off the seat as high as we could and it felt like we were riding on a roller-coaster? That was really cool. If you want, we can sit next to each other when our class goes to the zoo next month. But only if you want to. I promise I won't punch so hard when we play Punch Buggy No Punch Backs.



Your bus friend... Chloe

PS. I got my cootie shot and get a booster every six months, like you're supposed to.

April 11, 1982



Dear Chloe,



Jimmy is a known booger eater, best to steer clear of him whenever possible.

 I'm sorry for even asking the cootie question, but Steve Bloom said you guys held hands in choir and he got the cooties, but Steve eats paste and I never trust anything a paste eater says, but figured i should ask if we ever sit together again. 

I can't wait to go to the zoo, even though the monkey house makes me sadder than you would think it should. Do you know the difference between an emu and a gnu?
 me either, but i like saying gnu.

 I have some Madlibs we can play on the way.

See you on the bus.



Henry