Letter to my Mother

Hey mom. I never told you this before but I admire you despite our distant relationship. We have never been particularly close, though we are getting closer now as the years pass. But you've always been a figure of my admiration. You've faced so many trials, some of them I'm not sure even I could have weathered with the same calm grace you always seem to exude.

Dad has been unfaithful to you many times, and I've seen you break down because of it more times than I care to admit. Still, you stayed with him despite your tears, your pain, and your fear. I don't know if it was the right choice, but you've stuck to your path doggedly and I can't help but feel awe at your determination to make twenty years of commitment continue for another twenty. You've never given up on him, even though sometimes even I could see he deserved it. And now you seem stronger than ever, you smile more, you laugh again, and I feel happier knowing you're finally comfortable.

We grew up admittedly poor. We struggled for years, though my brother and I hardly felt the weight of it despite how crushing it must have been to you and dad. But you never gave up. I can remember when you would work graveyard shifts at 7-eleven only to come home to get my brother and I ready for school. You'd make sure we were clothed, fed, and ready for the day before walking us to the bus stop. You were exhausted, your body operating on instinct, and we never even saw it because you never let us know how tired you were.

Years passed, we moved a lot, and you bounced from entry level dead end job to entry level dead end job just hoping to put food on the table. Dad was gone a lot with the military, so you sent us to our grandparents just so we'd have some stability. Even still you worked tirelessly, attending college, designing business plans, bettering yourself constantly in an effort to find something to help us find stable ground. And you did, with each new job you were a little better off, a little more skilled, and we were a little more comfortable. Your dogged determination brought us from poverty to comfort, though our comfort wasn't much it was perfect.

I can't tell you how proud I am to see you continuing to push yourself to better yourself. Now you've found a job you love, coworkers who support you, a beautiful home with all the potential in the world. With each success I smile a little more knowing you've come so far, and you'll go even farther. I hope I can be like you especially now that I have a daughter of my own. I want her to be happy, I want her to have access to healthy food, good schooling, a roof over her head, and I want to be able to hold her tight with a smile. You've inspired me for years, and like you I will never stop pushing to better myself. I will always try to pursue my dreams and education. I want to be an inspiration to my daughter as well, so that she will feel inspired to never stop moving forward.

I only wish that we had been closer throughout my childhood, even now we are distant. But even though we don't talk much and you live so far away I'll still try to be a little bit like you because you raised my brother and I well. I've been successful in life, and I continue to work hard to do better. You've supported my goals, even if sometimes they haven't always seemed like the best. I know you don't quite understand me, but that's ok. I hope you still at least love me despite my quirks, my blunders, and my falls. I can only hope that I continue to make me proud as you have made me proud. I love you mom, please continue to grow like the graceful and poised flower you are.