June 1st, 2050

Another night has passed without her visiting, the only movement outside are mice searching through the remains of the food left outside the building.

I remember that the last day I saw her I had that pain in my chest. A sense of dizziness, a feeling that something terrible was about to happen that I could not predict. The night was full of light, like today.

As a way to kill time, I have started to make drawings of the moon as it is the only thing that feels like real company and somehow when it disappears, some tears roll down my face. Of course, after a few days, when the moon returns, it feels like a promise that maybe I’ll be out of here soon.

I have counted six full moons since I arrived at this place. It looked like a monster emerging from the woods. A large industrial-like dome peppered with small windows. Soon one of them would be my window, and I am just a dot in the sand. The only routine I have here is writing this diary and listening to music. I stopped watching TV because it only shows the latest news, all about those politicians talking as if they know something more than us. One of them said that the population had no reason to fear us as we are all isolated.

Today I asked the healers to let me induce sleep during the afternoon because I thought that she was going to come at night and I wanted to stay up as long as I could to see her. If I don’t see her tonight, at least I saw her in my dreams. When I woke up I started to read manuals on how to download my dreams to the computer, because this was the first good dream I’ve had since my condition began. After that, I can start to see how the images were being created. First I just could see pixels, then finally the details. The dream was there, on my screen. The sky was toned between orange and pink and we were breaking through the clouds slowly with our bodies. She was big like a dragon and I was on her back.

The image got distorted and suddenly I would be falling until I saw myself in my old house. I could see my mother screaming at my father because he lied to the doctors when they came to check if anyone had developed symptoms. It was funny that my mind had twisted the scene because, in reality, it was my dad who was screaming that he will not give up on his only daughter. He had to. I erased the last part of my dream, I didn’t remember that. Sometimes I don’t want to remember them or anyone.

That dream made me think about the way my life has changed from one day to another. One week before they had that fight, I was making plans for the next year, and suddenly I was isolated when my neighbor turned me in after hearing my screams. I hated him initially, but after a while I understood. Even my brother, who is an angel, was starting to be annoyed as I couldn’t stop the nightmares. It makes sense. How can one be a nice person without sleeping well? Everything after that happened so fast. The results arrived, and they just confirmed what we already knew. From that day, I only got to see my parents' holograms when they called me. Maybe back then, if I had known what was coming, I would hug them more often. It is funny, but the things I miss the most, are just ordinary moments. I just want to be ordinary again. My mom said that I will be out soon but I know she is lying. No one knows much about the disease and even less if it's contagious.

My symptoms have improved though. My reports say that my screaming has reduced, and it’s a good sign that I can wake up by myself, some people can’t. I think that that’s what's killing people. Not the disease itself but the fear of not waking up. I don’t feel that way because she helped me. Sometimes I just remember her flying, owning the night, like she knew exactly what to do every second of her life. I imagine the air hitting her wings, the glow of her feathers when the moon touched them. I even liked watching her eat mice.

I’ve never seen a bird before. I know that there are just a few left in the world so I guess that I am lucky. If I didn't feel that my life could be different tomorrow, I would see her just like any other animal, a barn owl as they call her. I would never be able to see her for what she is, inspiration flying free in the sky.