Is this the guy I'm looking for?

This is a story about a recent blossoming friendship.

It's been a few hours, and I am still processing the phone call from him. (For the sake of privacy, I'll refer to him as K). He thought I was single, but I awkwardly mentioned I have a partner. It wasn't the first thing I told him when I met him in a hotel ballroom in Albany.

I don’t know if he likes me, but I feel he definitely does. Our friendship right now feels fresh and new, and well exciting too. My romantic partner's work schedule is opposite from mine, and we haven't been able to spend time together. Perhaps we can find pockets of quality time to spend, but it gets away from us. I've been surprisingly enjoying my solo time. Is that a bad thing? Am I seeking attention elsewhere?

We just started reconnecting and then keeping in touch, sporadically. It’s very enriching. He has a lot to say but is also very calm. He matches my calm energy, but he talks a lot. Most of my male friends are similar in this sense and have a lot to say but are also curious about me. I like that I have multiple male friends.

My boyfriend called me an hour after K called me, but I didn’t think to mention it to him. What was there to mention? I'm not doing anything bad, am I? Because there's feeling, and feeling tells me something different.

We both understand each other's jobs, that's another way we connect. He asks me how things go at my studi0 in Ottawa, Canada, and I ask how things go at his studio, Vernon, Connecticut. We are both dancers.

Our conversations are funny and flow with ease. We connect in many ways. Our skin colour - we understand the third world country struggles and frugality. He has family from Jamaica & Trinadad & Tabago. Apparently most of the population is half south Asian and speak Spanish. Like how cool is that. It makes me want to go to the library and read up on that background. It's an interesting fusion.

I guess that’s how we connected actually, through race & background. The first day we met.

It was September 2022. I was at a job training event, for the dance studio we work for Arthur Murray. We have this annual training, that’s all paid for by Head Office and we have the opportunity to go and learn and become better teachers, as well as students. It was such a fun experience. Mingling with other studios as well. It was giving convention vibes.

So anyways, it's Sunday morning around 1 am, after this Saturday night dance party. At this point everyone filtered out into their own worlds, while my coworkers and I loitered around, chatting about things to do. One of my collegues was on the search for alcohol, so he trekked to a gas station and was gone for a good hour, while all of us stood outside in the parking lot shooting the shit - tired mind you from a long night of dancing.

A while later, after my co-worker comes back, we are still on the search for alcohol, and find ourselves seated with another group of people, from another studio, it seems. Across from me is this guy that I remember dancing with at the party, a few hours ago. He must have been the franchisee. As the conversation was going along, he asked me amongst all of the others, that were surrounding us, where I was from. I told him (South Africa), and he couldn’t believe it and asked if I had South Asian roots, desperate to put in a box, it seemed.

Into streams of conversation that same franchisee, later referred me to as ‘Miss India’. I didn’t think much of it, I laughed, uncomfortably, and turned my attention to this guy on my left, who was on his phone, huge framed glasses. Didn’t think much of it. I think we introduced each other earlier, but I couldn't remember.

The next day (or should I say a few hours later), it was Sunday, the last day of the convention when everyone leaves. It was the last of the workshops, and everyone said their goodbyes and gathered in their groups, suitcases ready to be loaded into their cars.

Amongst the chaos, a guy came up to me, and he was like, “You're Priya, right?”, and I was like “Yes", unsure of where this was going. He was black, with curly hair, freckles, big framed glasses, and a soft-calm voice. He introduced himself as K. He told me that last night, he heard what that guy said to me about referring me to “Miss India”, and he told me that it wasn’t appropriate, the way he classified me into a box, just based on my skin color - I’m paraphrasing at this point, because he talked so fast, and I heard something like, "I’m from Trinidad and Tobago and have family from Jamaica and I have South Asian roots". And then he said that with my permission he can say something on my behalf about that comment, only if I'm okay with it. And I was. It opened my eyes, and my perspective. And made me feel good. I trusted him in that moment. Even though I had only known him for 5 minutes.

We ended up exchanging contacts and parting ways only to bump into each other one last time before heading to our cars, to depart Albany.

From then we exchanged one message. A few months go by and I work up the courage to message him and from there, we start right away with a video call, then phone calls, messages, voice notes and now randomly timed phone calls. I like our friendship. I really do. I can’t help but wonder though, if this is the guy I’m looking for, in terms of a romantic relati0nship.

Somehow the universe put us together for a reason. And I guess I'm trying to figure out that reason.

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