Dear Mommy,
I was sitting here looking at my reflection in the mirror, examining all of my facial features. But I can't see you. I see my absent father in my face. Yet I don't see you. I need to see you in me, but I just can't find you. And it has me thinking about something I did a few years ago. I think it's time I confessed something to you. I wanted to tell you months ago, but I didn't want to stress you. You were already dealing with so much, and I didn't want to lay anymore weight on your mind. I think it will be ok now since that weight has been lifted. I feel we are both in a better place, so this won't cause any harm to our relationship. Mommy, as you know, I have been battling depression for years. Because of this, I have really started analyzing my life. In doing so, I have realized that we have a lot of things in common. Although they are not very positive things, they do link us together. Some may call it generational curses. I believe you would also call it the same. The more I talked with you and heard about what you had been through in your life, the more I realized how many similarities we've shared. It wouldn't be an issue if it were positive things, but we share too many heartaches, tragedies and mistakes. I don't understand why this is. My sisters have great lives, but you and I have not lived a fairytale. I get so frustrated when I hear you complain about your husband. Then it dawned on me, your complaints about your marriage sounded similar to my own. When I confided in you about my weight loss struggles, you reminded me of your own struggle with your weight. When I confessed how I had no self-esteem, you let me know how you too sometimes felt insecure. I used to wonder why you never took me to therapy or a counselor after discovering I had been violated. Then I found out you were also violated, and your mother did nothing to help you either. So how could you have understood that I needed therapy? I couldn't understand why you almost always chose the most questionable and unattractive men to be with, daddy excluded of course. Especially when you are so beautiful. Then I realized I too have done the same. I'm always choosing the lowest valued men, because I felt unworthy of better. You and I both were once married to good men, but we self-sabotaged ourselves right out of those marriages. We both went on to then marry men who we should never have given a first look, let alone a second. I admit my marriage is not as toxic as yours, but neither of them is up to the levels that either of us desired in a marriage. You and I have battled addictions, mine being food and well you know what you have battled with. So, as you see, I couldn't find anything positive in our similarities. I felt like I may be too much like you, in a negative way. Perhaps because I am the eldest of your children, I inherited all of the bad traits and my sisters were left with the good. So, I felt all I could do was pray for a change. I prayed that the generational curses that link you and me would be broken. I prayed that I wouldn't continue to make the same mistakes as you have made. I prayed that God would destroy all the negative traits I have inherited from you and my biological father. I prayed that the generational links that carry the traits which I feel have prohibited me from being a better mother, wife and daughter would be broken. I prayed that I wouldn't travel down your same path. I know it sounds horrible. Maybe you think I am ashamed of you, but I am not. I said those prayers because I didn't want you to be ashamed of me. I didn't want to remind you of your errors in life. I already feel as though I am the reason you didn't get to pursue your dreams as a teen. So, I didn't want to be a constant reminder of all that was wrong in your life. I prayed to be better so I can make you proud. I prayed to be better so I can heal and live a life that is worthy of your smiles and praises. I feel that I have never been the daughter that made you happy. I have disappointed you so many times. And no gift that I gave you was good enough or big enough to make up for my transgressions against you. Couple that with the fact that I look so much like my biological father, which makes me a reminder of the abuse you suffered at his hands. I also never got a college degree or married a doctor like my middle sister. I was never an honor student or had the most beautiful daughter who is also an honor student like my baby sister. I am just the high school dropout who had two children out of wedlock, and they are too much like you and me. So, you see I had to pray. I had to try to break the curse. I wanted you to like me too. I wanted you also to be proud of me. I wanted to feel like the daughter you wanted, and not just the one you tolerated. I never knew that when I prayed that prayer, you would be gone in less than two years. I just wanted the negative generational links broken. I just wanted all the sadness and disappointment to disappear. I didn't want you to disappear, I still need you. I wanted to see you live the good life that you were robbed of. I needed you to see me get better. I wanted you to see me accomplish my dreams and make you proud. I'd hoped to finally feel that you and I can have a relationship built on love and not just biology. But it's too late now. I said that darn prayer, but I think maybe God misunderstood me. The bad links weren't broken, and yet you were still taken from us. We laid your body to rest about ten months ago. However, it's been one year since I took you to the doctor and discovered you had stage four lung cancer and only had weeks to live. I brought you home with me. My sisters and I took care of you together. I sometimes think you were only happy at my home, because my sisters came to stay with us. I know I wasn't your first choice of daughters you wanted to stay with, but I was the best choice for once in our life together. You lived for 63 days after your diagnosis. You transcended while in my home, surrounded by my two sisters, daddy and me. Yes, your ex-husband who was the one true love of your life was there. You were 63 years old, and I had 63 days to tell you all of this, but I didn't want to be the one who once again caused you stress and sorrow. So, I said nothing. You transcended and the only part of my prayer that has been answered is the negative generational link between you and I is no more. The funny thing is, with all that we have in common, I still don't look like you. However, I am like you. I don't mean just the negative parts. I'm referring to my creativity. Being creative is the biggest and best part of me, and I get that from you. I never really saw it before, but I see it now. You have always been so creative in everything you do, from cooking, to styling our hair as children and decorating your home. Even the way you landscaped your yard was so creative. Mommy, I was so focused on all of the negative, I never noticed that I see you all around me. I am always creating something, so I see you in my artwork, I see you in clothes I design and videos that I create. I see you in my poetry and the stories I have written. Every time I create something, I see you. How could I ever have prayed to not be like you? I thank God that you are my mom. Rest in Heaven mommy. I love you.
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Adaiya Of Nedé
There weren't always dragons in the valley. Yet Adaiya is perched atop the great onyx mound watchfully panning the sky. In recent weeks there have been more frequent sightings of winged beasts in the skies over other Kingdoms and villages. However, those of Nedé Valley had yet to witness the elusive creatures in their skies. None the less, Adaiya was watchful and ready to defend her land, even at the risk of her own life. Adaiya loved her home, though she had not been born in the valley. She had been brought to Nedé as an infant by her mother ,Serity. Her mother was escaping a notoriously brutal husband known as the Butcher of Bevlyn. Adaiya was her mother's seventh and only living child. Her father had sacrificed the others because they were females. He wanted a male child to whom he could pass his throne. He could not bear the thought of a woman sitting on his beloved throne. In those times it was believed that allowing a woman to sit on the throne would bring a curse upon the entire kingdom. Therefore, each time his wife gave birth to a daughter, he would take and offer the child up as a sacrifice to his gods. He believed the sacrifice would please his gods and they in return would give him a son. Adaiya's mother was the seventh wife of her father. Each of the other wives would mysteriously die or disappear after repeatedly giving birth to only daughters. It was said that he had gone mad and started butchering the wives and feeding them to the winged beasts that occupy the caves of the desolate lands. There was no such thing as divorce in the kingdom of Bevlyn. The only way out of a marriage was death of a spouse. Therefore, Adaiya's father would dispose of his wives to free himself to marry again. When Adaiya's mother discovered she was once again pregnant, she feared for the life of her unborn child. She was sure that if it were another girl child, her husband would sacrifice the child just like the others. One night Adaiya's mother, Serity, had a horrible dream. She dreamed that a monstrous winged beast came into her room and ripped the infant from her belly. Adaiya's mother woke up dripping in sweat and violently shaking with fear. She sprang from her bed and ran outside into the palace's courtyard. She felt grossly ill and collapsed to the ground. As she violently retched on her hands and knees, she didn't even notice the peculiar looking serpent slithering towards her. An albino viper with glowing emerald green eyes slithered up and bit her on her hand. She snatched her hand back and frantically tried to crawl away, but she felt as though her body was paralyzed. She tried to scream for help, but no sound came from her mouth. She looked down at her hand and saw several tiny puncture wounds; but she felt no pain. As she sat frozen and completely unable to move, she heard the viper hiss as it began to speak. "Be silent, and still Serity." She immediately felt a calm wash over her. Serity's body relaxed, and she was able to move. Though she did not. She could not believe a viper was speaking to her. She thought she must be going mad. "You are not mad Serity. I am Rayl." Serity couldn't believe what she was hearing and seeing. She had so many questions. Who or what was this creature? Why wasn't she feeling pain? It was well known to everyone that viper bites often resulted in a painful and quick death. Yet somehow, she felt no pain and was very much alive. "I am the guardian of the child you carry. I have come to tell you that you must flee this night. The child that you carry is blessed. She carries the spirit of The Great One. She shall be the mother of a nation of mighty warriors, kings, queens, and wise oracles. Her firstborn son will destroy this wicked kingdom and righteously rebuild it. She shall drive the winged beasts to the ends of the earth and restore the land back to mankind." Serity looked visibly confused. She was still afraid, but she boldly questioned the viper. "Why this child? Six other daughters have I birthed, and helplessly watched him snatch each one from my arms. Why weren't they saved?" A single tear fell from her eye and ran down cheek. "Where was this Great One when that butcher of a husband was sacrificing my other children?" Rayl replied "I cannot answer that. Only The Great One can. What I know is that this one must and will survive if you flee this night." Serity wiped her eye just as another tear began to fall and she responded, "And just where will I go? I have no other family; I have neither gold nor silver to pay for transport. If my husband finds me, he will surely kill me. How am I to protect my child and myself? " Serity asked Rayl as she rose to her feet. " Don't be afraid. He will not find you. Once you leave, you will safely travel north." Serity inquired again, "But where am I going?" "Pay attention to the wound on your hand. When it begins to glow, wherever you are, you must stop. This is where you will rest until you give birth." Rayl hissed and started to slither around creating patterns in the dirt. The patterns began to light up and reveal images. Serity saw herself walking amongst trees, crossing streams, and sleeping in caves. The most vivid of the images was of herself giving birth with the help of a human-like creature. "You will remain in this place for two new moons. On the third new moon you will continue your journey, only this time you will head east. When again you see the wound on your hand light up, you will know you have reached the place that you and your child are to make your home." As Rayl is speaking, Serity attentively watches the images in the dirt. She felt a nervous sensation in her belly. She rarely traveled outside of the palace's gates. The very thought of travelling outside of the kingdom on her own gave her such an anxious feeling. She began to question Rayl. "How will I eat? I have no shoes on my feet or a cloak to keep me warm. Let me gather what I need to travel please." Rayl implored Serity to hurry. "No! You must go now." Rayl paused and lifted his head up towards the palace. "The king has summoned you. You mustn't Go back for anything. All shall be provided. Now hurry and make haste Serity!" Rayl stretched his body upright until he was looking directly into Serity's eyes. " I know you feel overwhelmed and afraid. But I assure you that you will be safe on this journey. No harm shall come to you or your child if you follow my instructions. Now hold out your hand please." Rayl's body began to illuminate, and his color changed to a swirling pattern of many bright colors. His body twisted and contorted in a manner that frightened Serity and she tried to run away, but once again she was unable to move. Rayl coughed and out of his mouth fell a bright blue stone into Serity's hand. " Anytime you need me, place this on your wound, and call my name. Wherever you are, I will come to you. But understand that my form will not always be as such." Rayl explained. As Serity examined the stone she asked, "Then how shall I know it's you?" Rayl leaned closer to Serity's face. "Look into my eyes, they are the only part of me that never changes." And with that he lowered himself back to the ground and began to slither away. "Serity enough time has been wasted. You must go now." Rayl said as he crawled off into the dark. Serity looked around to see if any of the palace's guards were nearby. It was a new moon, so the sky was dark, and this allowed Serity to move throughout the palace grounds unseen. She carefully navigated her way towards the dungeons where she could exit through the drainage outlet. She had heard several of the palace servants speaking of prisoners escaping by using the drainage outlet. It was fortunate for Serity that there were no prisoners being held in the dungeons at this time. This was a rarity, since even scratching one's nose in the king's presence could get them thrown into the dungeons. With no prisoners, there was no need for guards. Serity was able to move freely through the dungeons and exit out the drainage pipe. It was filled with stinking human waste and filthy wastewater. This was the main drain for all the excrement and used water that had been disposed of after cleaning, bathing, and such. Serity felt nauseous but she had already emptied the contents of her stomach earlier. The smell caused her to heave, but nothing came out. She waded as quickly as she could through the filth until she reached an opening. There was a short drop to the cesspool below. Serity hesitated to leap, but she knew she could not turn back now. The baby in her womb began to push and kick the inside of her belly. It was as if she were urging her to keep moving. " You're right little one. There is no turning back now." Serity sighed as she rubbed her belly. She took a deep breath and jumped. The cesspool wasn't very deep, so Serity was able to walk towards the edge and climb out. She was worried that she had made too much noise. She quickly ran towards the tall grass that grew adjacent to the cesspool and crouched down. She quietly waited for a few moments to listen. When she saw that she hadn't been heard, she turned and ran towards the forest. It seemed to be pitch black in the forest to Serity. She could barely see anything accept the ominous silhouettes of trees and glowing eyes of various creatures. She stopped and stood frozen with fear. She couldn't see which way to go. with no moon and barely a star in the sky, she was unable to determine which way was north. She stretched forth her hands and felt her way to a tree. She felt something crawl onto her hand, she couldn't quite see what it was, but she quickly shook it off. The darkness prevented her from seeing much of anything. She started to feel as if she should take her chances and return to the palace. She had just started her journey, and she was already feeling overwhelmed. Then she remembered that she had tucked the blue stone that Rayl had given her into one of her locks. Just as she was about to pull it out and call on Rayl, an amazing thing happened. Hundreds of little lights began to glow. It was fireflies. They were lined up along the trees creating a well-lit path. A voice in the dark called out, "Follow the path Serity." Serity spun around trying to adjust her eyes to see who was speaking. She heard a hooting sound from above her and she looked up. She saw a bright white owl with glowing emerald green eyes perched on a tree branch. She recognized that it was Rayl watching over her, so she felt safe to continue. Serity felt as though she had walked for endless hours while following the path of the fireflies. Just as she was ready to collapse from fatigue, she came to a clearing with a small pond where a single tree stood, next to a large rock. The fireflies flew and assembled around the pond. Serity could see that the tree was laden with fruit. She hadn't seen such a tree before. She was happier to see the pond than the fruit tree. She walked over to pond and immersed her entire body in the water. She wanted to cleanse herself of the filth and stench of the cesspool. The water was pleasantly warm and smelled like lavender. She used her hands to wash herself and scrub her locks in the pond. She removed her gown and rinsed it well. When she had finished, she climbed out and spread her gown onto the large rock to dry. Her stomach began to cramp and make noises from hunger. With the filth washed off, her appetite returned. She walked over to the tree and touched one of its leaves. The leaves of the tree felt like soft silk and were twice as large as those of the palm and banana tree. The fruit was purple and shaped like large pears. Serity wondered if the fruit was safe to eat. " Eat. You must keep up your strength." Serity looked up and saw the same owl as before sitting in the tree. "Rayl?" Serity called out. He repeated himself. "Eat, and rest. You must keep up your strength. When you wake. you must continue on your journey." Rayl instructed and flew off out of Serity's sight. Serity reached up to pick a piece of fruit. It was so large she had to use both of her hands to pull it down. Serity reached back up to pull some of the trees' unusually soft and large leaves down as well. She used them to prepare a place under the tree where she could rest comfortably. She sat down and bit into the fruit. The outer layer had the texture of rye bake bread and the inner flesh was like that of a grape. The taste was like sweet fresh honey, and it was the best thing Serity had ever eaten. She devoured the entire thing. After which she laid down and fell asleep. Serity didn't even feel it when the tree lowered its branches and created a shelter of leaves around her as she slept. She had no nightmares this night, only peaceful sleep. Serity was awakened by the sound of chirping birds. She could see the sunlight breaking through the trees. She slowly sat up and looked around. She didn't see Rayl, but she remembered what he said. She went to the pond and splashed water on her face then drank some. It tasted as sweet as it smelled. Now that it was daytime, Serity could see how clear and beautiful the pond waters were. The entire clearing looked like a beautiful painted forest scene from a child's fairy tale book. Serity walked over to the rock where she had left her gown to dry. It was still a little damp, but she put it on anyway. She went back to the tree and gathered one of the leaves that she'd slept on. The leaves were soft like silk, but quite strong. She pulled down several more pieces of fruit and wrapped them in the leaf. After which she tore a strip of fabric from the hem of her gown. She used it to secure the bundle and tie it around her waist. Serity picked one more piece of fruit before walking over to the large rock and climbing to the top. She sat down and ate her fruit. The rising sun's rays felt nice on her smooth bronze toned skin. As she ate, she looked around trying to figure out which way is north? She wondered if Rayl would send another sign to direct her. Suddenly, the hand that was bitten began to itch terribly. She frantically scratched at it until she noticed a white image that looked like an arrow appeared. As she raised her hand for a closer look, the image changed direction. "That's strange." She thought aloud. She moved her hand in different directions, and each time the image changed back to the direction it was originally pointing. Serity stood up on the rock and turned herself in different directions. No matter which direction she turned the image pointed to its original position. She realized that this was there to guide her north. She didn't know how long the image would remain, so she hurriedly climbed down, looked at her hand and started walking in the direction the arrow was pointing. Over the next weeks and months Serity walked through forests, and across plains. She sometimes felt extra energy and would run rather than walk through valleys. She also had to climb over a few hills during her journey. She waded across streams and swam across several rivers. All while hoping and praying that she would soon reach a resting place. As her belly became more swollen the journey became more difficult. The baby inside was getting more active as the weeks passed. It was as if she were trying to kick her way out. Six new moons had passed, and Serity's wound still hadn't glowed. The only sign she saw was the image of the arrow that was guiding her. She hadn't lost faith because everything was as Rayl had said it would be. She never worried about food, water, or shelter. She often woke up to find whatever she needed lying next to her. Sandles appeared one morning. Another morning she discovered a cloak and a satchel for carrying food and supplies. And just this morning she discovered a small pouch containing silver and gold pieces. She didn't understand what it was for since she hadn't had a need for money up to this point. She rarely even crossed paths with other people. But she knew it must be needed at some point, because Rayl always provided what she needed. Serity was so exhausted. It was as if she wasn't even walking by her own strength at that point. She felt more like she was being carried. Serity hadn't even noticed that she'd walked deep into the forest until she came upon a village. The arrow had led her to the heart of the Hakur forest. She remembered as a child her mother would tell her stories about an alleged mysterious village nestled deep within the Hakur forest. Many people had spun various tales of the elusive magical Nakyyah people of Hakur forest. When children went missing, or husbands failed to return from a hunt, it was believed that the Nakyyah people had taken them. Serity walked up to the entrance of the village. There was a sign, but she didn't understand the symbols. She wasn't sure if she should enter. She didn't see anyone walking around. There were no familiar sounds of a thriving village. Though with some hesitation, Serity mustered up the courage and walked through the entrance. She has only taken a few steps when she felt like something, or someone was behind her. She spun around only to be looking at the chest of someone. She slowly lifted her gaze to see a manlike creature standing before her. He was like nothing she had ever seen before. His hulking figure towering over her startled her so much so that She fainted. When Serity awoke, she saw the same manlike creature standing over her. He had one large emerald, green eye like Rayl's and one Saphire blue eye. She thought that this might be another one of Rayl's forms. His skin was black as onyx. He had a long thick white beard that resembled cotton, He wore three gold earrings in each of his long and point ears. His head was covered with long locks that looked like thick black vines growing from his scalp. He had to be at least eight feet tall. He was holding a staff and Serity saw that he had six fingers on his hand. "Greetings." His voice was extremely deep and powerful. Serity could feel his words as they reverberated in her ear. " You have been sleeping for three days." Serity raised up onto her elbows and saw that she was in a room on a large bed. "Where am I? Are you Rayl?" Serity eagerly inquired, though she still felt a bit groggy. "No, I am not. You are in Nakyyah village...." The manlike creature paused and walked over to a table and poured water from a gourd into a large cup. He walked over and handed the cup to Serity. "...Home of the Nakyyah and you are Serity. Rayl said you would be arriving soon." Serity sat up, took the cup with both of her hands, and drank the water in large gulps. It was sweet like the water from the pond from which she first drank, the morning after she fled the palace. " Yes, I have been on a journey for six moons, and I have grown weary." "Well, I think you have reached your resting point." The manlike creature said pointing to Serity's hand. Serity looked at her hand and saw that the wound was glowing in the shape of a red star. She had finally reached the place where she would give birth. She immediately remembered the vision Rayl showed her. And this manlike creature resembled the one that was helping her give birth in the vision. " I am Anahg this is my home. You are welcome to rest here for as long as you need to. I know you must be famished. I will have my wife bring food for you." Anahg turned to leave the room, but Serity stopped him. "Wait, please. Who or what are you? Your emerald-colored eye is the same as Rayl's. I thought that perhaps this is another of his forms." Anahg reared back and let out a boisterous laugh. "No. I am nothing like Rayl. He is the supreme being of my people. He protects us. We do not change our form. He takes on whatever form he chooses. Rayl's true form is a pure light that only the most virtuous souls can see." Serity wanted to know if Anahg was magical like the old tales she had heard. " I have heard that...." " We are magical creatures." Anahg said finishing Serity's sentence. He continued, "On this earth we have certain powers. Some might call it magic." "We Nakyyah are not originally of this earth. We arrived here shortly after the first human beings arrived. There was a time when we lived together harmoniously. But as humankind evolved, they became wicked. Our ancestors discovered upon arriving here that in this world, our kind had unique gifts. We learned to use them for growing crops and healing sickness. However, as greed, hate and jealousy overtook humans, they discovered a way to enslave and torture us. Once enslaved, they managed to manipulate our powers for evil. We are by nature peaceful. We knew nothing of violence or war until humankind introduced them to us. They forced us to use our powers to help them gain wealth and fight wars. " Serity listened closely for a pause before she asked, "How did you come to be in this place?" "The Great One was very displeased with humankind. So, before they could use us any further to destroy themselves, He sent Rayl to save us. Rayl brought us to this place to hide and protect us. We have lived here well-hidden for hundreds of generations." Anahg Explained. Serity swung her legs over to the side of the bed to allow herself to fully sit up. The bed was tall and Serity's legs dangled off the side like a child's "How then did I find this place?" Serity remembered stumbling upon the village in a great state of fatigue. "You did not find this place. You were brought here. Only those who The Great One desires to be here will see this place. Many humans have walked right through this village, but all they saw were trees. No humans can find us unless Rayl guides them here with the consent of The Great One. He protects us always. Now, no more questions, you must rest. My wife will bring food to you." There was something in his tone that let Serity know she should say no more. In the weeks to follow, Anagh and his family took wonderful care of Serity. The Nakyyah people were kind. They taught her many things about agriculture and farming. Anahg taught Serity how to identify herbs and which to use for medicine and healing. Serity learned a great deal and grew fond of the Nakyyah. When it came time for Serity to deliver, Anagh's wife and daughter helped her to deliver her baby. The moment the baby took its first breath, Rayl appeared in a human-like form that resembled the Nakyyah. He picked up Serity's daughter and said her name would be Adaiya. Which meant chosen by The Great One in his language. He gave Serity an emerald ring and said to give it to Adaiya on the first new moon after she has flowered. Anahg's wife gave Serity a silver necklace on which to place the ring for safe keeping. On the eve of the third new moon Serity prepared to continue her journey. She was a little sad to leave the Nakyyah, but Anahg assured her that they would meet again. Serity took her daughter and continued her journey as Rayl had instructed. It would only take her one more new moon to reach her destination. One early morning she came to a lake with a fishing boat tied to a dock. She saw a dwarf like man fishing nearby. She called out to him. "Is this your boat?" he responded, "Yes, it is, do you wish to cross?" "Yes, please" Serity answered. The small man walked over to Serity . He had long curly silver hair, vibrant blue eyes, and a long curly silver beard. He appeared to be young even though his hair was silver like an old man. He stood about four feet tall and was very slim. He didn't have the same physical appearance as most dwarfs. His physique was more like that of a young boy. "That will be four pieces of gold and two silver pieces." He said as he motioned for her to follow him. It seemed kind of an expensive fare just to go to the other side of the lake. If not for her baby, Serity may have swum across the lake. but she didn't question it. She took out the pouch of money that Rayl had given her. There were four gold coins and two silver. The exact amount she needed. Serity handed the pouch of coins to the man and climbed aboard the boat. The boatman untethered the boat and began rowing. The land on the other side of the lake had first appeared close enough for Serity to swim there. Now that she was on the boat, the land looked so far away, Serity could barely see it from where they were. Serity knew it would take a while to reach the other side of the lake. She thought it would be a good idea to get some rest. She secured Adaiya's blanket and held her close as she laid back against a bundle of fishing nets and fell asleep.
By L. McCrary 4 years ago in Fiction
Thoughts on Vocal and the way the world is
"Death cannot stop true love, only delay it." – Wesley in The Princess Bride. I decided to come back to Vocal on a very cold and dark night at the end of December. I had been, and still am, convalescing from a horrible staph infection that had gone misdiagnosed for months. This, paired with the increasing challenges of being healthy, making the best choices for my co-parented child, being a wife, and being a director at a new job, was a lot to manage.
By Jazzy 4 days ago in Confessions
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