I should tell you this before

Dear Mom , I have never hide anything from you , except this , now when I am grown woman and mom to one beautiful boy , I have to tell you something , after 8 years of keeping silent .

You know a man I have dated before , it was long relationship , and after this opened my eyes , and I should listen your advice earlier BE FAR AWAY FROM THIS MAN .

On my first return home from my work abroad , 6 months out of country , I came to visit you and spend most beautiful time with you , but that was not case . I have been raped by that man that he was even at our house for many times. One night after my night out for coffee with my friends I was walking back to car so i can come to you and just hug you and sleep next to you . He was there , parked his car next to mine , he was standing out and I was petrified , he grabbed my purse and my hand and he pulled me into his car , he was angry , upset because I leave him and leave country . He drove fast and far away ,i have no idea where we are going , I was trying to talk to him nicely . he was driving like for an hour , I don't know , I can't remember . The asphalt road was over , we are on some rock road and I just see water around us and land of corn , he stopped car he kicked me out , he was about to slap me , hit me , but he stud up , he just kept all my belonging , phone, purse, he sit in a car and left me there …

it was night , 11pm , summer time , I am somewhere where I don't see or know anyone , far away from main road , without phone to call anyone to help me … I start walking , it was scary and totally dark , but no another option I kept walking and walking , suddenly I saw car approaching and is it was camming closer I saw that he is one who is coming back .

As I didn't have any other option , I sit again with him , and just tried to be nice and to convince him to give me my stuff so I can come home . Only words I was able to tell him was sorry , I am wrong , I am mistaken , I made my self so miserable , just to get everything from him and run away . Saw that he is starting to cool down , that his face is not angry anymore. I took my purse and my phone , he drop me next to my car and I promised that I will see him again . I kept that promise only until I sit in a car and arrived home .

I just wear my pajamas , go under blanket and hugged you tightly , I was crying from inside but didn't have power to tell you at same night what is going on .

I am sorry ,haven't listen to you before , at least now I know how will rise my boy to be great man , and one day great father . I love you and sorry that I keep this for myself but didn't want you to worry about me .