I Had Disgusting Sex With My Husband…

She lay beside him, staring at the ceiling, her body rigid. The man who had once whispered promises of forever now radiated a stranger’s indifference. The silence between them wasn’t just absence of sound—it was the death rattle of trust.

When morning came, he acted as if nothing happened. Made coffee. Kissed the kids’ foreheads. Called her “babe.” The dissonance was unbearable. How could he compartmentalize so completely? How could she?

She spent the day dissociating—packing lunches, attending Zoom meetings, folding laundry—while her mind replayed the violation like a horror film stuck on loop. The mechanical way he’d used her body. The way he’d treated her no as background noise.

The Gaslighting Begins

Days later, she confronted him. His response? A cocktail of deflection and manipulation:

“You’re overreacting. Married couples do this all the time.”

“If you didn’t want it, why’d you ask for a massage?”

“You’re my wife. I have needs.”

Society’s script echoed in his words: the toxic belief that marriage grants perpetual consent, that a spouse’s body is communal property. A lie as old as patriarchy itself.

The Physical and Psychological Toll

The physical pain lingered—raw, burning—but it was the psychological wounds that festered. She showered obsessively, scrubbing skin until it bled. Flinched at his touch. Avoided bedtime like a minefield. Nightmares replaced sleep: faceless hands, suffocating weight, her own voice silenced.

Marital rape is a unique hell. It weaponizes intimacy, twists love into terror. Survivors describe it as “soul murder”—a theft of safety in the one place meant to be sacred.

The Statistics They Don’t Want You to See

1 in 10 women report being raped by a spouse or intimate partner (CDC).

Only 16% of marital rape cases are reported, often due to shame, financial dependence, or fear of disbelief (RAINN).

In 32 U.S. states, marital rape is still treated less severely than non-marital rape, with loopholes for “force requirements” or shorter statutes of limitation.

Why We Dismiss Marital Rape

Society minimizes these crimes because acknowledging them forces uncomfortable truths:

Marriage ≠ Consent: Lust dies, resentment grows, bodies age—none of this voids bodily autonomy.

Rapists Aren’t Monsters in Alleys: They’re fathers, breadwinners, churchgoers. They’re men we trust.

Victims Aren’t ‘Asking for It’: Wearing pajamas, saying no, being exhausted—none are invitations.

Breaking the Silence

To the woman in this story, and millions like her:

This Was Not Your Fault: You said no. You froze. Both are valid responses. Survival isn’t complicity.

You Deserve Safety: Emotional blackmail (“You’ll break up the family!”) is another form of violence.

Help Exists: Hotlines, therapists, and shelters specialize in marital rape trauma. You don’t have to endure this alone.

A Call to Action: Rewriting the Narrative

To Lawmakers: Close marital rape loopholes. Train police to take these reports seriously.

To Friends/Family: Believe survivors. Stop asking “Why didn’t she leave?” and start asking “How can I help?”

To Society: Stop romanticizing marital “duty.” Consent is not a vow.

Final Words

This story isn’t rare—it’s routine. A global pandemic behind closed doors. But silence protects perpetrators, not victims. Share it. Scream it. Let every uncomfortable flinch it provokes fuel change.

To the man in this story: You are not a husband. You are a rapist. And the world is learning to name you.