I can't believe you are gone...

It is so difficult for me to write in the Albanian language because, in English, it feels like I can hide or transform the pain and fear with my fantasies. But today, a pain repeated itself once again and struck even harder. My heart nearly shattered from the pain and, for a moment, forgot to beat again. Then, a storm swept everything away, and a torrential rain began to pour furiously. Wild and blinding lightning illuminated the night in its darkness. The noise was so loud that it deafened all of humanity.

Then, the wind knocked down trees, dragging them forward, leaving them sprawled across buildings and hills, at the mercy of fate. But for this raging weather, destruction was not enough—it blew and howled and never stopped. It traveled through mountains and fields, across seas and rivers, through the sky and ravines, and never grew tired.

Then, dark gray clouds stood face to face, ready for another clash. They collided with all their might, bringing more hail and storms as a result. And who would have thought that even the weather could feel longing? It longed for you, my love.

My eyes searched for you but could not find you, my ears longed to hear you, but there was only silence. Somewhere, buried among countless memories, it found your voice and hid it away in one of the highest drawers of its library. There, it would be safe—no one could find or erase it.

But still, it will remain just a memory, nothing more. Your voice, your touch, and your love—I will never feel them again. They will forever leave a space in this harsh and cold weather.

I can say with certainty that now I can no longer place my hands around your waist or embrace you. I can’t come to have coffee with you, or tell you how I am. You are no longer there—I will never find you.

The weather will never again embrace the earth, whose grass will wither. Now, there will be no one left to care for it. I hope it rains again—maybe that will make it feel a little less lonely.

The emptiness in its depths cannot be filled by anyone or anything. You are gone, and I am still in shock. How did time slip away like this? Life is merciless, just like the years that pass, ticking backward like a clock running in reverse.

I remember the last time I saw you—you were tired. Ah, this life... a cruel one. We are born, we live with sacrifices and struggles, we see only a glimpse of light, and then… Then, everything is gone.

Time has passed, and all that remains is to wait for the end—sooner for some, later for others. In this life, we are only temporary. It is as if everything we have is rented or has a limit.

How sorrowful, an indescribable pain. We fight every day for more and more, and in the end, we become nothing. And what remains after that?

Well, I have heard and believed in the soul. Yes, the soul for sure! It is immortal, unshaken, and undefeated. It is a precious gem to be taken care of. Let's give as much as we can; love, care, kindness, sharing, blessings. If you see yourself surrounded by people that love, you... believe me; you are the most successful and the richest person on earth.

My dear grandmother, I know you will be there, protecting and blessing us for eternity—until one day, we meet again...

Maybe, after all, we are just ticking time bombs in this world...