How I Fight My Cripling Impostor Syndrome One Work Unit At a Time

A while back, I had a very experienced psychologist review my work. One has to respect the work psychologists do and their role in our health. Psychology is a very sensitive field for sure. A field that fascinates me immensely.

I also happen to have many of my own psychological frameworks with which I navigate my life. Quite frankly, I’ve used many of them for years ever since I came close to suicide as a result of my depression.

The thing about getting close to such a reality is that it was then that I knew how important and serious I had to pay attention to my mind. It was then that I realized the truth that science was not always going to help me deal with the real world that I lived in mentally.

In some cases, it would help, while in many cases, it was just not yet proven or didn’t have the answers. But whether science had or didn’t have the answers, I learned that I needed to take care of my health and never allow myself to go that way again.

So it was one of these frameworks I was practicing that was the point of review. The psychologist told me that in all his years in the psychology field, he had never heard of what I was talking about. Of course, what I was talking about was not only my true lived experience but it had also been written about by another psychologist. By the way, you can read about that psychology study here.

Anyway, when this experienced psychologist who was reviewing my work told me that there was no such thing as self-surrender in psychology and that my reference to that study was just someone’s opinion, I began questioning everything.

This was one of the times that my impostor syndrome was now not just a syndrome. I, not being a psychologist, was now a real impostor. It felt that way. If a veteran psychologist who has spent multiple decades in this field tells you that your opinion is not psychology, you only have to wonder what else could be wrong.

This is one of the incidences in which my impostor syndrome becomes reality. You are not just thinking that people will call you or your work fake, no, people (the ones with the experience and degrees) are actually calling you and your work fake.

That is a crippling reality because it makes you realize that you are not just thinking about it as a possibility but you are living it as a reality with physical evidence that can point to a case in which you and your work have been called fake by the experts.

So, how do you deal with that?

I knew that if I allowed the words of this expert to get to me, I was going to relapse into a worse depression than I had before. The worst part is that, unlike last time, I would not have anything that could break my spiral as the beneficial frameworks have been weakened by doubt and invalidation.

So what I did stopped me from spiraling into depression but it also helped and prevented me from giving up on the work I was doing with myself.

Here is how you can do it too.

Reinforce your beliefs with your lived experience or scientific knowledge

The truth is, the world largely depends on undisputed proof. No one is ever going to believe you in the absence of proof.

When this psychologist told me that my work was not part of psychology, and therefore it was a fake reference to psychology, I had to go back and read that research paper, all the 160 pages of it, to make sure that what I wrote about was true.

I further had not just my proof of true lived experience but people who read my work highlighted and also told me that they found that my writing deeply resonated.

Belief reinforcement is a very important element in taking control over your impostor syndrome. The more you can have your beliefs rooted in lived experience and scientific research, the more you will stick to them when doubt fills your mind.

Be open to the fact that you could be wrong

I realize the relative nature of my experience and thus the relative nature of my beliefs.

This realization makes me more curious as to how my beliefs and what has worked for me in the past fit in with the beliefs of others. If someone is willing to share their point of view, it sometimes gets me excited to know and learn more perspectives that can shape my holistic approach to any given idea.

The great thing is that many people are always quick to share their opinions about anything and through this, they give you a chance to expand on your own beliefs.

Being open to the fact that you could be wrong limits the expectations that you place on yourself and thereby limiting the impostor syndrome you place on yourself. This then helps you show up better and much more empowered in the work you do.

Exercise your will to do your work every day

Doubt and all other feelings of impostor syndrome fester in the face of inaction.

Be it your relationships, work, or anything, the more you do what you are supposed to do, the more you create a gap between you and impostor syndrome.

I’ve met a lot of people that I admire for various reasons but the fear that I would be rejected stops me from ever making an effort to talk to them. I always come up with excuses or embody different forms of hostility like ignoring the person so that I do not have to face the reality of talking to them.

This struggle of mine works the same way when it comes to impostor syndrome. The more I put off work that must be done, the stronger these reasons for feeling like an impostor grow.

Motivation and feelings of confidence in the work I do come only after I get something done. It is only then that I can sit back and feel like I won the battle between me and my impostor syndrome.

Conclusion

There is no doubt that at some level, many of us are faced with these feelings such as impostor syndrome. And I want to believe that there is a way to permanently get rid of it but I do not believe that is possible nor is it good.

What I know is that when it comes to work, impostor syndrome helps me examine the validity of my ideas, a process that helps me strive to become better.

I also know that because of this, it can be crippling sometimes when you feel like you have done your best but your work still lacks something. It is from this point that I can put my work into the world and let the world judge the validity of what I have to say and hopefully help some people in the process.

Impostor syndrome for me, therefore, is an important part of my workflow but also a part that I must keep at bay with each work unit that I do. I let it serve its part of holding me accountable for what I put out but I do not let it overpower me into inaction.

And this is the battle I must fight every day.