He looked like Hopper from a Bug's Life

So, I don't know but I'm sure y'all have heard of Chispa, right? It's a dating app that feels dirtier than Tinder and it's for latinos lol. Anyways I met this guy and his name started with a J, yeah, already off to a bad start lmao. So we're texting and vibing, turns out his red flag was that he is in the army and he lives two hours away. Now let me just say, I had been single for 3 years. So a bitch was bored and she wanted a boyfriend. So, J was trying to act all perfect and I immediately knew and thought oh em gee, he's trying to love bomb me lmao. I never been love bombed but I had a friend who had been love bombed, so I know. So I was bored and played along. Now I'm telling my friends about him and my friend's roommate said it was giving Manny from Ice Age LMAOOO. Yes, it was the hair and brown skin. But I thought he was kinda cute. And a man in a uniform? Uniforms are red flags but I don't care, it's HAWT. My friends think this is a good guy, they think that he would be healthy for me and he's all telling me that he'd wanna be mine blah, blah, blah. So two weeks into talking, he tells me he loves me. What did I do? Say it back obviously lmao. Did I mean it? Nope. But I did like him. We had not even met yet neither. So I went to Hawaii but when I got back, he wanted to see me. He drove two hours to see me and to be honest... he was cuter in pictures. I told this little man no one had ever treated me like a princess, that I want that treatment. LIES, I remember...summer 2021. But, he opened my door and got me a big bouquet of red roses, cute I guess. We painted for our first date. Yeah cute I guess. Dude I'm 23, take me to the CITY. Or somewhere better, why are we painting? When we kissed, I was not head over heels lmaoo. It was bad, I don't know if his lips were too big or what. I will tell ya, the man was an eater. But let's get to it, things were cute in the beginning but damn. So he tells me "it'd be more of your loss than mine" PARDON LOL. I was like "oh yeah, why?" Then the little bitch goes on about how he was amazing in bed, amazing partner, then got cheated on. Ok. Then he gets nutty on me and asks where I'm at, send pics, hella phone calls. Like? Bro even pulled fake tears on me. We were on the phone arguing and he stopped talking and I was like "what's wrong, why are you quiet" then texts me "I can't say it" bro shut the fuck up lmao. So I had not had sex for 3 years until I met him and yes the sex in those couple months were good but man, I did find better. After he said I wouldn't. So we're in September and he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. But then he starts to act all weird on me. Barely no more phone calls, texts were dry, so I ghosted him lmao. Yes, I ghosted my boyfriend. Then he texts me and I told him he was weird so then he ghosted me and I think he thought I was gonna blow up his phone. So we stopped talking and let me tell you what really did it. So we always fucked in his mustang, if you been in a mustang you know, it's small back there lmao. We talked about getting a hotel and I didn't know how to tell my mom I wasn't coming home. So I told her and she called me a whore lmaooo. Anyways we always made jokes about him cumming in me then we said we'd make a video. We get to the hotel and we fuck, made a video, but he didn't nut in me. But the next morning we were supposed to go to a pumpkin patch but we couldn't because his family texted him and he needed to go home. But the vibe after we had sex that night was not a good one. I started to get really bad acne when I was seeing him, like my whole jaw, cheek, just most of my face looked so bad and my skin was angry. And instead of comforting me he told me it looked really bad like gee ok. This little man literally was face covered with pimples. So, after the hotel, I didn't like how I felt. I felt used, I felt like I wanted to be experienced. I didn't like it. So yeah we went our separate ways, my body was rejecting him, I started gaining weight with him, not happy weight. It was bad. After the break up, I lost the weight and my skin cleared up. He was not hard to get over, I found someone else, way better fuck for sure. And I realized I didn't like him because I do like someone now. With him it was a fuck it moment let's see where it goes. But yeah he has Hopper's face with Manny the mammoth's hair cut from Ice Age. This little bastard did not take me on one damn date but was able to get a hotel for us. Honestly I think it hurt me when I realized I was just ass 2 hours away but I knew. I didn't fall for his games, I didn't even like dude that much lol. But it was an eye opener for sure. But no, I don't wish him the best lmao. I wish him the worst, fuck you, next.