He Ghosted Me — So I Spent $3,000 Trying to Win Him Back

I wish I could say I’m stronger now. That I learned some lesson, walked away empowered, and burned all the memories like some girlboss in a movie. But the truth is messier.

The truth is, I lost myself over a man who didn’t even have the decency to tell me goodbye.

He didn’t block me. He didn’t fight. He didn’t even lie.

He just vanished.

We met on Tuesday. I still remember that on Tuesday always feels forgetful until he did it. It was at a mutual friend's housewife party - he stood at the bookcase and browse Murakami while actually reading it.

He smiled as I joked how every man uses "Norwegian tree" to look deep. He said, "What should I read, then?"

I said, “Me.”

It was cheesy. He loved it.

Three days later, we had our first real date. And it felt like fate — but the kind of fate that tricks you before it guts you.

Over the next two months I fell quickly. He gives me a poetic message for 2 o'clock. He will send a playlist. He called me his "North Star".

We were not official - and he never let it go too close - but every time I felt the distance, he just pulls me enough to pull me.

I never saw the switch turn.

He began to react slowly. Cancel by plans. Then no one makes it.

I once asked: "Are you doing well?"

He said, "Just insisted. Throw it out."

But I did. Continually. Too deeply I knew he was not "just busy".

The last message I sent him was:

“Hey… are we good?”

It still says delivered.

That was 482 days ago.

For several weeks I spray.

I told my friends that I was fine - but I didn't eat. I read my lyrics as a psycho detective at 3 o'clock and tried to find a message that changed it.

Then I did the most stupid job that I have ever done:

I decided I needed to win it back.

I started with my presence.

I can't pronounce new dresses, new skincare routine, $ 180th of these products in Sefora.

I dyed my hair - twice - because he may have liked the white.

I joined a gym that I couldn't tolerate. I also bought a 3 -month pass in a yoga studio when his former was posted from there on Instagram.

Bad things?

I posted all this.

I became the queen of "soft flakes". Bikini Pix. Morning Lutta aesthetics. Night time it runs in sneakers.

I didn't live my life - I staged it, just when he was still watching.

Spoiler: He wasn't.

At one point, I paid $99 to some TikTok spiritual coach who said she could help me “manifest a text” using “feminine energy.”

She made me write “I am magnetic” 33 times a day for 3 weeks.

You know what I attracted?

A $35 overdraft fee.

For four months I was a $ 3000 loan from the goods that I tried to influence a ghost.

Of course, I went on therapy, but I wasn't honest. I say "I know it's done" or "I heal", but in reality I was just waiting. have hope. It is hungry for any indication that he was still thinking of me.

I used to check the Spotify activity what music he was listening to. Once he played a song that we used to belong together. I cried for three hours.

It was discovered that it was on his public playlist since 2017. Perhaps on the switch -off.

Then something moved.

One day I rolled Instagram and saw her name appear on a marked picture.

He looked happy. He was with a new girl. He had soft eyes, and it seemed that he made his sour or read poetry in parks.

For the first time, I didn't feel jealous. I just felt nothing.

No anger. No heartache. No, "Why, not me."

Just quiet.

It wasn't peace. Not yet. But that was the beginning.

I realized I didn’t want him back.

I wanted to feel chosen.

I wanted validation that I didn’t waste my love. That I mattered. That I was unforgettable.

But chasing someone who doesn’t even care you exist — that’s not romantic. That’s self-abandonment.

So now, I write instead of stalk.

I wear what I want instead of what I think he’d like.

I do yoga because it calms me — not to flex on Instagram.

And I unfollowed his playlist.

I’m still paying off the debt.

Still working on the part of me that thought I had to earn love by changing myself.

But I’m done being a performance piece in someone else’s silence.

He ghosted me.

But I won’t keep haunting myself.

End Note for Readers:

If you’ve ever felt abandoned, obsessed, or broken by someone who didn’t even say goodbye — you’re not crazy, and you’re not alone.

Just don’t spend $3,000 trying to become someone they might look twice at.

They’re not looking.

And you’re worth more than that.

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