Gifted

This past weekend was like one of those enjoyably repetitive Christmas movies you watch on Lifetime and Hallmark. Family fun in the Carolina countryside. Yes, I was loving it. This past weekend was so fun that I would’ve never expected what was gonna find me on Monday morning.

So I wake up on Monday morning. To say I was feelin’ good was an understatement. I was feeling great and I knew a great holiday was coming my way during this short week before Christmas. I get in my 2014 Hyundai Accent and drive off to my job. I had a really good feeling about this week, I just knew some unexpected favor was gonna find me.

As I was headed down the road getting ready to get off at the exit that takes me to my job I was suddenly stopped on the freeway coming up on the exit by a random car which had come to a complete stop. Now given that this was super early in the morning, it was dark out and there weren’t hardly any cars on the road I could see the car a good bit in the distance before I came up on it, so I had some time to slow down. I have to admit that I was puzzled and caught off guard by the car and I was wondering what the heck is this guy doin’? I wasn’t worried because I could see the car behind me had also stopped, so I wasn’t worried about an incident.

The car in front of me slowly started moving and I slowly started moving behind it. As I started moving I realized that the car behind me had gone around. Progressing my way into the exit my car was suddenly smashed from behind by another car. I was quickly jolted forward as my car was pushed along and my tire pressure light came on. My heart started racing as I screamed “what the heck”. In my peripheral vision I could see the car that hit me speed off into the dark morning sunrise. It’s like after a brief pause they never even thought about stopping because they either didn’t have insurance, were driving without a license, had expired tags or all of the above. Either way, they were cooked if they stopped so they just kept going.

My car was banged up pretty bad. My tire had been ripped to shreds, my bumper was torn up and my axel was severely damaged. I was able to get my heavily damaged car into the parking lot of the Four Seasons mall just off the exit and I called my best friend Ashley who is my partner at work if she could come get me and she did. When Ashley got there she could see the damage was severe and that it was gonna be a big fix.

By this time my nerves are all out of place and I’m super stressed. I only wished I had left th me house just a few minutes later. When me and Ashley get to work I call my insurance company to come pick up my car and schedule me for a rental and then I call my dad and ask him if I could use one of his spare cars if need be. He agrees and my insurance company sets me up with a rental until January 3rd after having my car towed to my complex. When the work day ends Ashley takes me to pick up my rental car at Enterprise. That girl will never understand how thankful I am to have her as my best friend.

After I get the rental I get home and call my dad who lets me know he’s here to help wherever I need it. I also call one of my other closest friends, Ashlyn and tell her about what’s happened and she also offers help where ever it’s needed. My insurance company eventually calls me back to let me know they’ll be sending an adjuster to my car to assess the damage on it. So as rough as the day started it seemed like everything was getting better right?

I went to sleep that night and I was not okay. I didn’t get a decent amount of sleep and my mind was all torn up and my emotions were wrecked from the accident. The thing is my mother died in a car accident when I was 17 years old, so I’ve always had this premonition that a car accident may be my deadly fate one day. Lately when I’ve been closing my eyes I see visions of me dying, especially in a car wreck, so it’s been a difficult set of days.

I stayed home from work the next day after the wreck because my mind just wasn’t in a good place. I wasn’t physically hurt in the accident, but the mental damage more than made up for the lack of physical injuries. One day later my insurance adjuster contacted me after assessing the damage to my car and gave me the unfortunate news that my car was a total loss. I knew then it was gonna be a long road to recovery.

In the midst of all the mental and emotional damage dove to me in light of this loss of my car I have constantly heard everyone around me tell me that it’s just good that I’m “still alive” because things could’ve been much worse. At first I didn’t heed those words much. I just looked at them as words of confort during a tough time. The more that time has went by, the more I realize they are all right. The fact that I’m still alive really is the greatest gift.

This week has been filled with dreams and thoughts of me dying just like my mother did, but I’m not dead. I lost my car, but I’m still alive and I’m surround by a lot friends and family who have my back and won’t let me fight this uphill battle alone. My older sister told me she was just glad that I’m alive. That’s how everyone else around me feels. I was bent up and obsessing over death and I know that’s not what the people who care for me want and that’s definitely not what my mother would want.

I realize now the greatest gift I could’ve ever gotten during this holiday season was to still be alive and surrounded by love and care. To still have your life and the people in it who care for you is the true meaning of being gifted for the holidays.