Dirty

Once you do me dirty, I may forgive you, but I’ll never treat you the same you will never get the old me again.

So many people have come into my life and have been excellent teachers, friends, and lovers of life. However, those people keep treating you dirty and don’t even care that they are doing you dirty.

It has taken me a long time to get to this mental place in my life where I can now forgive you for your issues with me, but I will never treat you the same way ever again. I realize that you and I have to move a different way to keep my inner peace and mind.

You have broken the trust that I thought was there between you and me. I realize now that you were never loyal to me. You were just dedicated to seeing what you could take from me. You were hoping that my eyes would never be open to your bull shit. Well, surprise, my eyes are opened now, and now that I have called you out about these issues, I now know they were your issues, not mine.

Your issues of having insecurities were never about me, not loving yourself first and more often. Verbally saying hurtful things to others to make yourself look and feel good. Bottom line, you never had an issue with me. You have always had problems with yourself. Like I have stated before, I will and have forgiven you, but I will never treat you the same because of the trust you broke.

I will not allow you to keep doing me dirty. You have limited access to me. Meaning I am no longer giving you love in the same manner as before. I have forgiven you for everything you have done to me, but you have been so consistent with the inconsistencies that I can’t afford to trust you like before.

Many people reading this will wonder why I choose to write something like this, but there is a big problem that seems to be a tragedy. Manly women, we are the queens in this world, and we have the privilege to bring life into the world. Somewhere along the way, society has made it possible to dehumanize women, which is not good.

As women, we need to be clear on who we are as women because once you learn who you are as a woman, you will be able to fix things about yourself. I use to be the one in denial about things, but all this did was make things worse for me, and I didn’t understand why for years. Now that I have chosen to do better for myself and not others, my life is better. I am happier with knowing where I have come from, and I am in love with the fact that I have the final say-so over what does or doesn’t go on with me.

Doing me dirty can and does come in many different forms. You could have said something dirty to me that hurt my feelings and when you approached me about what you said, you try to play down what you just spoke to me. I will forgive you, but I will never let you have access to me in that way because you were never loyal to me. You want to hang around me to help reap the benefits of all the blood, sweat, tears, and restless nights that I had to endure to get here. You pretended to be a positive person for me, but eventually, all of your issues came to the surface. Now you are pissed at me for telling you the truth about yourself. I know who I am as a woman and a person, and I know that I have a good heart, but this also doesn’t give you the right to keep hanging on to me when you know that you are not right. I will not throw shade at you and put you on blast on social media, but what I am doing is keeping you at a distance until you learn how to love yourself first. Until you can master this task, you will not be in my life for the other joys I have come. Doing me dirty continuously is your mistake, not mines. My mistake is allowing you to keep doing it. The good news for you and me is that I know how to disconnect when things are right for me. I am no longer in denial about who I am as a person. Life is too short for all the bullshit, so from this day forward, if you care for me, be honest with yourself first before you approach me, trying to be a friend to me.