Dear Stranger- Chapter 0

Dear Stranger;

It's strange to write to you, my friend. I haven't done this for a long time. By this, I mean writing to anyone. I mostly write to myself but I thought sharing this with you might give me some sense of clarity on who I am, and maybe gives you a sense of hope that you are not alone in this world.

Please don't mind my grammar or the lack of my misspelling. If you came from another country at the age of 11 or older and you actually know how to type properly with zero grammar mistakes or without misspelling a single word, you have my full respect.

So from where we left off, I have been going through a lot, as you know. From moving to another country because of a family matter to finding I wasn't my dad's real daughter, to my parents' abusive divorce, and by the end of our last chat we discuss the effect of moving 5-6 different houses in a span of 5 years or less. I have encountered the most difficult task I have ever seen to face in my current 20s something lifetime. This is the most painful experience I have encountered from all of the above. I have finally broken up with my boyfriend whom I've been dating for over 8 years now on top of that it was a long-distance relationship. I am currently facing the five stages of grieving which I will discuss in the next letter I will be sending you shortly. They might not all be in order and some might come 2 to more times to explain how I am feeling, but please know it's so you have a better idea of how I am feeling. Here are a few summaries of what's coming your way:

i) Denial- I thought to myself he will change if it's for me he will change. I know what he did was wrong but he promised me he wouldn't do it again. I know some situations were similar but I don't want to fight. I don't want to figure out the truth.

ii) Anger- He promised me he wouldn't do it again but then he does something else that's stupid! Why does he keep lying to me! Why was I so stupid!?! He never defended me! He was never really there when I needed him. He didn't even know what I wanted to study.

iii) Bargaining- Okay if we go to couples counseling together maybe he will notice his mistakes, or at least I'll notice mine. Maybe we can get ourselves another break and come back to each other

iv) Depression - I will never be loved as he loved me. No one will understand me. I am all alone. I want to text him but I know I can't. I know he won't change. Why did I not see it sooner??? Why am I so stupid!?! I probably will die alone. He never really loved me if I think about it. What if he finds someone better and marries her in a year? And his parents will love her, and she'll be beautiful and smart and I'll be alone.

v) Acceptance- I'l, get back to you on that one. However; now I am free of this toxic relationship. Now I can focus on my goals that were being compromised because of our relationship. Now I can be who I am without any hesitations. I can hopefully just be me again

Thanks again for reaching out to me my friend. Let's talk soon.

P.S- Know that I am grateful that you reached out to me friend, and I hope that your day gets a little better from today.

Sincerely yours and only;

#Unknown123