Dear Mom

Dear Mother Dearest,

I'm sorry for buying a PS5 by stealing your credit card.

But you can't blame me!

You see, your precious daughter was forced! Pressured! Pushed to commit this heinous crime!

In fact the culprit is Caitlin!

Oh right you don't know who Caitlin is.

Well, Caitlin is a girl who I share my Algebra class with.

And she's a serial killer.

She's a serial killer who kills her victims by shoving needles down their throats and always leaves a yellow sticky note with a smiley face drawn on it.

Anyways, she threatened me that she'd kill me if I didn't submit to her dark and evil desires of committing chaos at every given moment!

Caitlin wanted me to take your wallet when you were out of town and buy a PS5 with it since she knew that you would say no if I asked you.

And so, very much against my will, I stole your credit card while you were out of town.

I then bought the PS5 that got delivered to the house overnight. If I'm gonna steal your credit card I might as well go all out and pay for premium shipping as well.

But, that night it got delivered I realized, you would get a notification in your emails that your PS5 that you didn't buy got delivered!

I really did not want to face your wrath.

So, as any sane person, I left the house. With the PS5 of course.

And now I'm a criminal on the run.

Or rather a criminal that was on the run.

I immediately came back on the realization that I didn't have any internet at the nearby park.

Plus I didn't wanna get mugged!

Imagine with me for a second mother, a small girl carrying a PS5 all willy-nilly out and about.

Anyone would try and steal it!

And all my hard work- I mean, Caitlin's hard work would have been ruined! And I would have to pay the price!

As you can imagine, these past few days have been very hard on me.

Can't you spare a little bit of sympathy, mother?

Now, a question you might be wondering is, why did Caitlin want me to get the PS5 in the first place?

And I answer that question with a question of my own another, why wouldn't Caitlin want me to get a PS5?

I mean, come on, it's a PS5, you can play games on it and watch videos, what more do I need to say?

Wait... now that I think about, I don't remember where's the last time I saw your credit card...

No need to worry though! I'm sure I'll find it... eventually.

I mean come on there's not that many places it could be!

There's the living room... which is full of places something as a small as credit card could hide.

There's only a chance that it's there though!

My room is also a possibility, which has mountains upon mountains of mountains amounts of clothes in there...

It's okay though! I can totally find it! That incident with your scarf definitely wont happen again!

Ok, so I decided to take a break from writing this letter to you and I have good news and bad news.

Good news: I found your credit card!

Bad news: It's in the cat's litter box...

Well, I guess you won't be wanting your credit card anymore right? So it's mine now, right?

Also, I'm sending you this letter because I'm afraid to answer your texts.

Love,

Your Daughter who is now in possession of your credit card.

P.S. I mean, it's kind of your own fault for leaving it here- I'll stop now.